It is important that the kids respect you, know that you care for them, are there for them and that you are consistent in your routine and rules. It is sometimes a tough balance. I know my kids like me, some even say they love me, yet they know I require their co-operation when asked. If a child refuses to do something I consider necessary I will get down to their level, speak in an even voice while I am holding both their hands in mine. I look them in the eye and tell them that listening is important and so is co-operation. I will then repeat what I need them to do and why and request that they do it now. If they still refuse, they will sit apart but not away from the others and I tell the child they may join us when they are willing to do what I told them to do. This works for the older children. The younger ones I redirect and look for another reason why they may be unco-operative eg tired, hungary etc. Hope this helps