Red flags?

[adelaide]

Hi all,

Warning: this is going to be a loooooong post...sorry.

I've just started my daycare - literally two days in and already I'm having issues. Tuesday and Wednesday I had a 3 year old part timer in and she's great, the problem is the parents. It took a long time for the mom to make up her mind about putting her daughter in care here, mostly just procrastination I think but I did finally have an interview with her and her daughter 2 weeks before she was going to start. It went great I thought - I answered her questions easily and I went over the policy highlights with her and I played with her daughter. I sent her home with my policy and other forms to be filled out by her first day of care. We set up another visit the next week just to make sure her daughter was comfortable here. At that visit, we chatted and I asked if she had any questions about the policy and she told me she hadn't had a chance to read it yet. That should have been my first clue. That visit was earlier in the week and then it was the long weekend. My husband and I were out on a day trip when she texts me balking first at the part of my policy that states that I will be closed for stat holidays but that payment is required because you're paying for a spot, not days attended. She then was confused about a sentence that said that when I transfer care over to a responsible adult (herself or whoever else has permission to pick up the child) I will make sure they understand that the girl is now in their care, not mine (she thought I was just going to hand her child over to some random). By this time, I'm walking around a huge, busy fair, stopping every few minutes to text her back and my husband is getting frustrated (justifiably) so when she texts asking what I consider to be an emergency and says that they are paying me to watch their daughter, not some random person they don't know. (talking about the part of my policy that covers what happens if I suddenly have to leave and close) I'm a little offended at this point because (I know it's hard to read tone through a text but) she seemed to be snarky and not really giving me the benefit of the doubt that I had good reasons or explanations for the things I have in my policy. When I received that text, I started texting her back, explaining myself when my husband suggested I ask if I can call her the next day to answer her questions. He brought up a good point that she seemed to be reading the policy and asking questions as she went which might mean I would be texting back and forth all day. I thought it was a good idea so that's what I did - she texted me back: "That's the last question I had - just text me when you have a chance"

So I left it for the day and tried not to let it bother me. I texted her the next morning with my explanation (a big long text explaining it as clearly as I could) and asked if that made sense and answered her question. I didn't hear from her all day until late at night when she texted to say that she was at a friends, her phone was about to die and could she text me in the morning. I thought, "you have enough battery to text me all that but not to say yes or no to whether I answered your question?" but I texted back: that's fine. The next day is the holiday Monday and by 2pm I haven't heard from her. At this point I'm wondering if she's even going to bring her daughter the next day So I text her again to follow up and she texts back regarding my explanation: "it makes more sense like that...you should change the policy so it sounds better" and lets me know what time her boyfriend is dropping off her daughter. I roll my eyes because I'm pretty sure I made it about as clear as I can and I say: "great! don't forget to bring all the signed forms, the cheque for this week, and a family picture if you have one to spare "

Here's the excerpt from my policy about emergencies:

"In case of an emergency situation that requires my immediate attention, I will attempt to call in one of my substitute child care providers. If available, one of these substitutes will come to the center to stay with the children until you or the emergency contact for your child are able to pick up your child. I will leave instructions with the substitute that will include the names and ages of children present, arrival and departure information for each child including the names of people authorized to pick up the child, the location of the childrens' files including emergency contact information, consent for emergency medical treatment, any special health care needs and the schedule of the child care. I encourage you to have alternative care prepared in the rare case of an emergency. Tuition fees will be discounted or waived when I am closed because of an emergency." (my substitutes will have their police checks, although I guess I forgot to mention that in my policy - so sue me - actually, please don't!)

I don't hear anything else and the dad drops her off the next morning. He gives me all the forms, half filled in but no signed policy. When I mention it, he says he didn't realize they had to sign the policy and that he did his best with the forms but he didn't know everything that was supposed to be on them. So I ask him to bring it the next day (wed) and to have mom complete the forms that night and bring them back as well. He fills out a cheque for me so that was good and I remind him that since the next day(wed) is her last enrolled day for the week, the cheque for next week is due then. I have a good day with the girl. He picks her up and takes home the forms again. When he drops her off the next day, he explains that when he got home last night, he didn't get a chance to see the mom so the forms are still not filled out, still no policy and because the cheques are in mom's name, he didn't have a chance to fill one of those out either. I'm a little frustrated but I also understand that the mom is going back to school and the dad is looking for a job so things might be a little hectic so I try to cut them some slack. Mom picks her up at the end of the day and I mention the half filled out forms, the missing policy, and the missing cheque (after talking about the good day we had, etc) she didn't say much about any of it. I asked her to bring everything on Monday. What she DID talk about was how, (even though it's in my policy that I will provide sunscreen and have written permission, including the brand and ingredient strength, from parents to use it on their child) she wants me to use the sunscreen she brought instead. It took me off guard and I didn't really know what to say so I ended up not saying anything. How I really feel is that a)I don't like that she's just deciding something other than what's in my policy and b) it's fine now when I only have her child but the reason I decided to provide the sunscreen was so that I could slather the same stuff on everyone instead of trying to keep track of who's sunscreen is who's. The other thing that kind of frustrated me was her mom showing me a toothbrush in her bag and saying that it's for me to brush her daughter's teeth with after meals. I provide breakfast, morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack. I (almost incredulously) asked her: "after EVERY meal?" "yes" "like after breakfast, snack, lunch and snack?" "no, just breakfast and lunch would be fine" "Allllright" It's not the biggest deal I guess but I'm already in the bathroom, helping the daughter with her clothing whenever she has to go, helping her with the tap to wash her hands 10+ times a day and now I need to be in there 2 more times to brush her teeth? How much time out of my day and schedule do I need to take to spend in the bathroom with this one child?!? And maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed about it if their forms had been filled out and the policy and next week's cheque were in my hands and she hadn't insisted on HER particular sunscreen...she didn't even look at what sunscreen I had - dad signed the permission form for sunscreen.

I'm just wondering if this is a rough start or if they are red flags and what your thoughts are on how I should handle all this. On Monday, if/when they bring the cheque, it's technically 4 days late according to my policy. Not sure whether I should insist on that or give them a break. I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on any or all of this. Sorry it's a novel - maybe I've missed my calling.

Additional (not really important) info (as if I haven't said enough yet): 3 year old is coming 4 days a week now (Mon-Thurs) and my full timer is starting in the middle of next week (7 month old boy who is very easy going and who's mom is awesome and has already returned all the forms and thought my policy was very standard and is bringing the cheque for his first week at her last visit with him at the beginning of the week. so I'm really looking forward to them has nothing to do really with this story but I just thought I'd share that I have another child coming that I'm really excited for and who's mom has been an excellent first experience for me (she enrolled first, this other mom just started care first)

[Play and Learn]

K, didn't read through your whole post yet - will do that tomorrow when I'm not so tired!

BUT first things first....You were on family time! I do not answer any calls/emails/texts when it's the weekend/holidays. AND....you kept on responding. Just from that first couple of paragraphs, I would terminate that family. Having a home daycare is definitely a learning curve. Not denying that at all.

Trust your gut. I will NEVER EVER sign on a potential client again had they NOT read my manual before the interview. I give a simple instruction, and should have them follow through. It's really not that hard, KWIM? If they can't do that, then they don't RESPECT me or my business.

If you have any questions or need help, PM me. I'd love to help!

[Bookworm]

You need to fix this now or it is only going to get worse. Tell her that if she does not have the forms, cheques, etc... on Monday at drop off, then you will not care for her daughter until the fees are paid up and if you charge a late fee, I would do that too, so she knows you mean business. It seems like she is trying to be the boss of you, and you need to let her know who is in charge.

[dodge__driver11]

Once a break always a break hon. I have learned through my first year in business to keep everything the same for anyone regardless of what they think. I now have a rule, if you do not have all the forms filled out you do not start care period. Same with the monrey--no cash no care. They can easily send you an email transfer to deal with money owing.

I personally would send them a firmly worded email stating that in order for care to continue you must have all care fees (Including any late fees that you charge) on Monday morning at drop off or care will be refused. And, termination will follow.

I, like play and learn give out a copy of my contract/handbook to parents once they say that they are interested in my program. If they cannot take the time to read it it is not within my job discription to make sure they have.

I know it will suck big time to lose clients at the begining, but Id rather lose the bad apples and get good ones than suffer through it....

Hope that helps

[Toregone]

Just to see if I'm understand this.. her last enrolled day for the week is Wednesday so parents need to pay on Wednesday for the following week? I do monthly payments so for me it's a little different but shouldn't payment be due either on the Friday or the Monday morning of following week? If a parent chooses to pay on the Wednesday rather than make a special trip to you on the Friday that's different but I personally wouldn't consider it 4 days late come Monday morning.

As for the rest I would wait and see how they settle in. As you said it's a stressful and hectic time in thier own personal lives right now and as a parent finding daycare and dealing with the forms and such required can be hard. If you continue to have these problems it's a different story but I would cut them some slack to begin with. I'm not saying do care without fees or without having your manuals/policies signed off on, I wouldn't let her leave Monday without that being done, but don't see them as "red flags" yet. Keep it in your mind that this has happened but give the benefit of the doubt moving forward.

Maybe it's just the newbie in me talking but sometimes I see a very hard attitude coming from people on this forum. I understand that it is years of experience backing you up in your decisions and advice but ya know.. maybe all parents aren't all bad 100% of the time. Just as we as providers aren't all perfect 100% of the time. They cut as some slack at times and I think we need to be willing to bend a little sometimes too.

[Crayola kiddies]

Yup I agree .... She thinks she is your employer !!!! But actually you run your own business and you provide a service for which she requires. This will not likely get better but much worse. So tomorrow remind her about the forms and payment needed for monday... And if she comes on Monday without the fees and paperwork tell her you are not able to provide care. Forget cheques start using EMT's then there is no excuse for forgotten payment and ask for payment on the Friday for the following two weeks. Good luck

[DaycareLulu]

I would require her to drop of next weeks fees this evening if she wants you to provide care for next week!

[crafty]

Sounds like a difficult client. She is probably feeling very uneasy about leaving her child in daycare so she is attempting to find any excuse to make the experience horrible. I think she could try to walk awayon her own not leaving things on a good note. I would try to replace them right away.

As for payement and policy I would remind her that care will not be provided until all required documents and payement are received and would also remind her of late payment fees and that your WILL apply your policy. I had a temp. family that 'forgot' but when I told them about my policy and that I would not be able to provide care for them until they provided what is stated in the policy .... they stopped 'forgetting'. They were however more pleasant to deal with so I did give them a chance

[adelaide]

Thanks again the text is sent so we'll see what happens. I'll try and update next week if I have a chance - or earlier I guess if she replies with something. I'm definitely going to take the advice of keeping family time and business hours separate. That's a great tip and so obvious, I don't know why I didn't think of it :s

[adelaide]

Update:

So I texted the mom on Friday, reminding her to bring the forms and payment, etc and I didn't hear anything all weekend. I wasn't sure what time they would drop the daughter off because they originally said 7am (when I open) but last week dropped her off around 8:30 (they let me know ahead of time) but I didn't know what the drop off time would be this week so I was up and ready for 7. I texted the dad at 7:15 just asking what time he was planning on coming by and I didn't hear anything. At 9, I texted both parents asking if the daughter was coming today and said that I would appreciate if they let me know either way. The mom texted saying that I needed to text the dad, that he was supposed to talk to me today and that she was driving. Soon after I heard from the dad saying that his phone was malfunctioning this morning and that he finally got it working, that they wouldn't need my services and wishing me luck. So I guess I don't have to worry about it It is in my policy that the first two weeks of care are a trial period and either the parents or myself can terminate care and I guess it's a good thing I had that in there because I don't have to bother chasing them down for anything. I'm actually quite ok with the way this turned out. They weren't nasty about it, I don't have to deal with them anymore, I've learned some lessons and I have the baby to look forward to. I'm a little concerned about how we're going to pay our bills this month but we'll just have to make it work. Thanks for all the advice everyone