Alright, I have two toddlers - one is almost 14 months and the other is 17 months tomorrow. They're the best of friends and do everything the other one does. This is a bit of a problem. I thought I knew how to discipline children, but it seems my tactics are not working with these two and I'm starting to wonder if I'm going about it all wrong.
Please note: the 14 month old is my son and doesn't respond to time outs yet. He just doesn't understand them. He is VERY strong willed and stubborn. My 17 month old SORT OF understands time outs, but I feel like he enjoys them. I sit him down and he just sits there. He really doesn't seem to care.

I'm feeling at my wits end.

My son bites, pulls hair and hits when he's frustrated or angry. He also likes to throw food off his table. When he bites, if fu**ing hurts. He bit my shoulder last night and I almost started to cry. He's never bitten another child like this, but he does bite a little. When he bites, I yell in pain, hoping to startle him but it doesn't work. Then I hold his face and say sternly, no biting and then put him down and refuse to play with him. Also, he is teething very badly right now, so I don't know if that has something to do with it. When he throws food off of his table, I grab his hands and say you do not throw food off your tray. Or your food stays on your tray. But he just laughs and then does it again while he's staring me down. I'm starting to feel a little bit like I'm raising a brat and this is NOT acceptable. My husband says it's a good thing that he challenges me like that because it shows he has the self confidence to be able to challenge me...doesn't make it any easier. I have this stare down technique that worked with my dogs lol and I do it sometimes with my son, and most of the time it works, but he stares me down in the process and his face is so friggen cute, sometimes I start to laugh. I try my absolute hardest to hide it, but it's SO hard!


My 17 month old listens a little bit better but he's still a challenge. He's starting to hit...in frustration, anger, and even sometimes because he fees like it. This morning he had a small shovel, walked up to my son and hit him in the head with it. No reason, just felt like hitting. I took the shovel away and held his hands and said no hitting. But 15 seconds later, he walked up to my son and wacked him again.
He's also throwing toys. And this kid has an ARM lol he threw a sand pale this morning, and almost hit one of the other kids in the head. Again, I take both his hands and look him in the face and say no throwing. At one point, when I was trying to scold him, he kept turning his face to look at the TV. I had to actually grab his face and make him look at me. He also still puts EVERYTHING in his mouth! Drives me crazy.

These two are CONSTANTLY fighting now. The thing is tho, my son can take it just as well as he can dish it. He rarely cries. The 17 month old on the other hand, will walk over and throw a toy at my son, my son will pull his hair and then the other boy will throw his head back and cry for like 5 minutes. To the point where I actually have to tell him to stop. And he stares at me while he's crying, like, arent you going to do something about this? Last week, I had to seperate them. My initial instinct is to let them hash it out, but then the 17 month old starts to cry. I don't know what to do!!

I feel like I have no control and I don't know if what I am doing is harmful or good. I am a first time mom and have no background education in child development. Sometimes, I raise my voice, not a yell, but a loud voice, because I feel like it's the only way they will take me seriously, but clealy that's not working. I just feel like when I sit there and say all nice, "please don't hit your friends" they're laughing in my face. It doesn't matter if I am nice, yell, freak out, take things away, put them in timeout, seperate them, scold, NOTHING is working!!

What is your experience with this sort of things and how do you deal with it?