Strange form of discipline

[bright sparks]

Since we're throwing out "anecdata":

My kids aren't spanked. I am regularly complimented on their social graces and healthy respect for others. I wasn't spanked. I was a very well behaved child as well, and ended up being a productive member of society.

My kids respect me without a fear of being spanked. It's no miracle. I respect them, listen to them, teach them appropriate behaviour, and have consequences when said behaviour is not met. Yeah, I talk to them. It works.

FWIW, none of my family members or friends spank. None of them have rude children.

Can a kid be spanked and turn out mannerly? For sure! But the end result can be the same WITHOUT hitting. Disrespectful, rude and delinquent children are a result of bad parenting, not a result of lack of physical punishments. Just saying.

ETA: My kids NEVER ever ever threw fits. My oldest DD went through a 2 or 3 week phase where she had tantrums, but this was after a cross country move and a new baby sister.

Amen to that. I to, am extremely vocal parent with my children and believe that I have great kids as a result of it. Not to say there arent times when they go through changes and have frustrations but I have taught them from a young age and continue to have, open lines of communication to find productive ways of dealing with things that come up. My children know that they are heard and respected so they do not need to be dramatic about things. That being said, they know that I am consistant and what I say goes but not because of fear, but because I explain to them the whys of things and if they want to question what I say I welcome it as thats how they will learn and also they will learn from that how to respect others because I have shown them respect. I know the common thing to say to kids is that they have to earn respect, well I believe that they have to be taught it by being shown equal respect by the adults in their life. It made me smile reading your post Alphagetti, Thanks