Strange form of discipline

[apples and bananas]

I'm bringing a concern to you for advise. I need to know what other providers would do in this situation.

A child has told me that their mother and step father discipline her the following way.

First they do push ups, then sit ups, then they have to stand on a chair holding books in both hands out to their sides for 3 minutes. This is the punishment if they talk back etc. Just generally behaving badly.

This isn't one of my daycare kids, it's a friends child. I know kids can create stories, but it was confirmed on a seperate occasion with an older child in the house.

Any thoughts on if this is appropriate punishment or not? If your daycare child told you this happens in their house, what would you do?

[Inspired by Reggio]

While it is not my cup of tea for behaviour management I would personally think whatever works for them at least they are doing 'something' to correct inappropriate behavior in this day in age where so many parents are so busy trying to be 'friends' with a child verses actually raising them to learn behaviour has consequences!

Is the family military in nature or have some family history of someone in the Military? IME this is how the military trains soldiers to perform ~ you screw up you are giving physical exercise to help the message sink in for the next time theory being by using your whole self as part of the punishment as you reflect on better choices it helps the brain to remember the message better for the next time ... the physical exertion and discomfort caused by the labor of it being associated with the message 'you do not do XYZ' and on some basic brain development levels it does make sense that this would be effective ... and IMO it is much less evasive approach than turning them over your knew and physically spanking them which argues the same 'results' but is one person causing the physical pain upon another verses 'self regulating' the pain verses exercising?

[Starshine]

I don't agree with any sort of physical punishment, and that is what this is. Forcing a child to exert themselves physically can be dangerous. Remember the little girl who died in the winter after being forced to run? Yes, that's more extreme than what you're describing, but I think it's dangerous regardless.

Depending on how close you are to these people, I would likely talk to them about it and let them know how you feel about it.

[Dreamalittledream]

while it is not my cup of tea for behaviour management i would personally think whatever works for them at least they are doing 'something' to correct inappropriate behavior in this day in age where so many parents are so busy trying to be 'friends' with a child verses actually raising them to learn behaviour has consequences!

exactly!!!!!!

[Inspired by Reggio]

I don't agree with any sort of physical punishment, and that is what this is. ....

I agree with you whole hardheartedly ~ IME there are better more effective ways to help a person choose to make positive choices in life ... for years I was able to guide and manage a classroom of children without ever using corporal punishment successfully and motivate them to want to make positive choices because it was the right thing to do for themselves and others not out of fear of punishment by myself if they did not .... however we live in a society where 'punishment' is still the go to method to manage behavior .... from our judicial system right on down to parenthood so sadly we are going to keep being exposed to discipline methods such as this one which seems the lesser of two evils so to speak.

[gcj]

My biggest fear with this type of discipline would be turning the child off exercise, which would be a shame, but if they're doing it in a controlled manner, I don't think they are harming the child. It's probably even more effective and less cruel than yelling....and let's be honest, we've all lost our tempers and yelled!
Are they of a different nationality? I used to train competitively in my sport and it sounds a little Russian....
Overall, it doesn't concern me, personally. Maybe I ought to try it with my 7 year old son

[fruitloop]

You know, everyone has their own way of disciplining their children. This imo this is not abusive. Hell, they have to do this in the military. Yes, these are children and not adults but what you described is not harmful to the child. Maybe the parents are from a military background. You can't be constantly sticking your nose in how people raise their kids because everyone is different. This is the second or third thread about "tattling" on a parents style of discipline in less than a week. Seriously...I know it's our job/nature to protect children from harm but come on! These parents are not beating their children, they are PARENTING their children and everyone parents differently. Just because we work with children everyday does not give us a licence to interfere in how other people parent their children. Yes, people who don't parent their children at all and would rather be their "friend" effect us in our business but it doesn't give us a right to interfere in how they're doing it. If they want to create a spoiled little brat, let them. If a parent wants to create a child with respect, morals, manners, etc. ...let them! We are always so critical towards other parents and I personally am trying to change that in myself because quite frankly...it does nothing to improve anything.

As long as the children aren't TRUELY being abused, it's none of our business how they are being disciplined.


Edited to add:

I apologise if I offended anyone but I'm a no BS no sugar coating kind of person and reading so many posts on this lately is starting to irritate me. A lot of people spank their children, myself included, when they feel it is deemed necessary, some people make their kids stand in a corner, some people decide to "talk it out" with their kids, some people make them hold books in the air for 3 minutes and do calisthenics (which is good for everyone to do actually)...everyone is different!

Why is no one jumping to "talk to the parent" who does nothing to correct a bad behaviour? Couldn't that be considered a form of abuse too...to not teach your child how to be a descent human being with morals, respect, manners, compassion, etc.?

[Crayola kiddies]

I think it's a great idea ..... And I don't think it would turn kids off exercise at all in fact it would have he opposite effect ... As an adult they would probably turn to exercise as a form of problem solving .... You know ... Have a problem ... Go for a run ....
As long as it's not excessive I think its fine but you really didn't say how old the kids were and howmany push ups are they doing 10 or 100 ....

[Play and Learn]

Hey, if it works for them, then why the hell not?! I don't have a problem, because the child isn't being abused.

I'd just let it be. It's definitely not my place to tell them how to discipline.

[apples and bananas]

All interesting points of view. I'm not sure how I fell about it, that's why I posted... looking for different opinions.

I'm not sure if this corrects behaviour or if it just puts a negative twist on healthy excersize. Are they going to grow up, go to the gym and not want to do certain things because it reminds them of...

The relation to the military is interesting, however, these are little girls under the age of 10... not Men that have chosen to be there.

I aggree that how people discipline their children is their business... it's a form of discipline I've never heard of before though... so I just wasn't sure.

Something that I wouldn't do for sure!