Getting anoyed with all my parents grr!(venting)

[kidlove]

i agree mamma mia, I will always remind especially at the beginning of the season, sometimes I think parents just cant admit the weather is getting colder. I just have a touch more lee-way I guess, cant bear sending a little one out improperly dressed, and there goes that "hating confrontation" and "needing to be needed" thats me to a tee, as long as I dont feel "abused" by parents, I LOVE that they need me sometimes, that's why I love this job.....my favorite is reaching into my "spare clothes" bag and getting them a warm sweatshirt or a hat...they need me and I love it!!!!!!!!!!! maybe I'm a wierdo, but I don't care, have to say, sometimes feel like I can do more good with a "needier" kid, rather than a kid who comes every day with all the bells and whistles overpacked by Mom.

[apples and bananas]

I make smart comments at the door like. "gee suzy, that sweater is very pretty... probably wont be pretty by the time we're done in the sandbox" Or... "I like your sandles... prepare for some muddy feet... it rained last night and the yards a mess" LOL Usually get's the point accross.

[sweetness852010]

I don't accept them into care if they're not 'ready' for daycare.

I go out of MY way to make sure my home daycare is safe and a fun place to be. The parents job is to make sure that their child is ready, dressed and fed for the day.

I was thinking of this earlier it really messes up our day. I went to the park this morning and two out of them climbed in the wagon and cried until i said alright we will go. We get back in the house and she wanted to go because she was cold.
I hate to see a dk get cold or sick but i feel like its not my problem and the should be checking the weather a prepare THIER child for the weather. I feel if i keep "daycare clothes" that the parent get really lazy. I do have a few jackets on hand and boots/shoes but i never get them back even though it says daycare right on the stuff. I so agree with you playandlern i should put this in my october newsletter.

[Mamma_Mia]

I don't really have sympothy for these people! I to this day no matter where I'm going have in the diaper bag 4+diapers, full case of wipes, a change of clothes, drink & snack and if summer hat and bathing suit....fall winter a sweater/jacket. On weekends where I know we're getting home late add a pajama to the list and that's my AVERAGE bag for MY daughter....so really? they have NO EXCUSE!

I too was a working out of the house mom at 25yrs old who had NO help from my DH...I love him but he doesn't do anything re: DD - I'm a "single parent" with that regard. He doesn't do cooking, housework, laundry, baths, diaper changes.....MAYBE he'd feed her 'for me') I'd get home at 6pm and start dinner while playing with DD, ate and then gave her a bath + cuddle time. Once she was down I'd clean up the kitchen, make lunches and get her bag ready for daycare (bottles, 2 outfits etc.) maybe do a chore or two and finally sit down enough for a 30min show on the couch and bed!!! It CAN be done!!

(but it's also the reason I wanted to leave it .....)

[sunnydays]

I'm in the middle with this one. I do require parents to dress their kids properly, but at the same time, I am more lenient during seasonal transitions such as right now, because sometimes the weather catches us off guard and we don't always realize how cold it is until we are out already. I find some people dress their kids more warmly than others in general...I am one who likes my kids to be very warm (I look all over to find a down jacket or snowsuit), but many people don't seem to get that polyester is not really warm. I dress them in what they come with, but if I have one child accidentally missing a hat etc, I will use a spare one from my kids so that we can go out and the child doesn't freeze...usually when they come to pick-up their child and find little Tommy wearing a bright pink hat with flowers on it, they don't forget his hat again

[Inspired by Reggio]

.....usually when they come to pick-up their child and find little Tommy wearing a bright pink hat with flowers on it, they don't forget his hat again

yes this works like a charm for the boys who forget to provide what is needed ~ when I worked in a centre many a little boy when home in bright pink hot pants cause well 'girls hand me downs' tend to be more readily available than boys for some reason!

I do agree at times of the year like this I give a little more leaway to my rules as well ... I myself got up this morning and dressed in shorts and a tshirt out of habit and paid the price of being freezing when we were out and about ~ did not realize it was so cold out cause the sun is so gorgeous!

[Connect]

Hello,
I agree with Inspired. When I worked in a centre we did have extra clothes to put on children and guess what? some items would not even get returned! We constantly had to put reminders in children's cubbies . . .

I can empathize with being torn between tough love for the parent and not wanting a child to suffer because their parent is not organized and proactive enough to meet their needs and ultimately you and the program having to suffer because of it.

When I was a young ECE I used to keep extras of everything and so forth and I would just say to them 'that's ok I have an extra XYZ the child can borrow' because I did not want the child to suffer for the parents lack of planning ... I did this until I realized that this helping behavior was 'enabling' clients to continue to be LAZY and not supporting them to develop the skills of organization and planning needing to effectively parent their child ~ and so the behavior never got better cause the parent just assumed that if they forgot than I would step up and do it for them they were not motivated to change because they did not 'need' to change the behavior ... so now I have a 2 strikes policy for dealing with this!

I still keep 'extra' clothes/diapers for an emergency however a client gets ONE bail out to forget something where I will provide the back up item for them that day. They get a reminder at this point that 'next time you might not be so lucky and I might not have what is needed and you will have to go home and get it making yourself late for work ~ please ensure X has what is needed daily. They are reminded to bring what is needed at pick up plus replacement of whatever they 'borrowed' back to the program the next morning.

If they forget AGAIN I am assertive! I feel that it is than becoming a 'pattern' and want the message that this behavior will not be tolerated and so I send them back home to go get what is needed for the day and if I do not trust them to actually DO IT and come back than I send them with their child in tow to go get it. I do this as a natural consequence for their poor planning choice ~ IMO making them late for work aids to help them get motivated to create a PLAN for ensuring that they arrive to daycare with everything their child needs each day than so be it ... because sadly for many people until their behavior negatively affects them they will never GET IT and make change of said behavior because they learn that someone will always 'bail them out so its all cool' .

My long winded point is if we do not like a behavior in either a child or a client than we need to create a natural consequence for that behavior that motivates them to change it otherwise we have to learn to 'live with' the behavior because until they are motivated to change it they will not

[Connect]

wow you are organized! Alas I used to be one of the parent who would forget. I mean I would get home 7 and hope that dinner was ready to eat then I had to make sure that the girls at least had a bath and then off to bed. Almost always I would get a call asking for extra clothes. I'll be honest every night I reached home all I wanted to do was to go to bed. I was exhausted. I was disorganized and overworked! no wonder I left! I guess organization is key to be able to have things ready for the kids. Good point.

[crafty]

Man , I have these pareents are always forgetting something or not providing appropriate clothing. Just last wekk he was still coming in sandals and shorts. I mean AM are cold. I provided warnings, after warnings after warnings, I made them a list that goes on the fridge of everything that needs to be in his bag. Nothing works with them ... So I was thinking of having a new policy ...Everytime I need to use clothing or anything that should be provided by the parents $1.00 will be added to your invoice. So I will keep extra clothing, wipes and diaper ...But you will pay for it... You guys do that ?

[Momof4]

I had a boy today poop all over his clothes so I had to find old ones left behind from other children in my cupboard because his Mom always forgets to bring his backpack. I told her tonight AGAIN that I need a couple changes of clothes. GOOD LUCK!