Getting anoyed with all my parents grr!(venting)

[sweetness852010]

Soso this morning it was really cold out one of my dc parents came in and said its really really cold out. Once they left i had relized that she only has a thin material type of jacket. They did this yesterday too when it was pouring outside. I send out newsletters once a month reminding then to dress for the weather as i have to the bus twice a day. Another parent too yesterday sent the oldest kid in a sweater and running shoes toschool and hes brother with no rain boots and a spring jacket. Ive also reminded then in person and as well as posting it on the parent broad in our front hall. Dont they check the weather network i dont like that i have to send the kids home with my kids clothes or send them wet or get them sick

[Play and Learn]

I don't accept them into care if they're not 'ready' for daycare.

I go out of MY way to make sure my home daycare is safe and a fun place to be. The parents job is to make sure that their child is ready, dressed and fed for the day.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I can empathize with being torn between tough love for the parent and not wanting a child to suffer because their parent is not organized and proactive enough to meet their needs and ultimately you and the program having to suffer because of it.

When I was a young ECE I used to keep extras of everything and so forth and I would just say to them 'that's ok I have an extra XYZ the child can borrow' because I did not want the child to suffer for the parents lack of planning ... I did this until I realized that this helping behavior was 'enabling' clients to continue to be LAZY and not supporting them to develop the skills of organization and planning needing to effectively parent their child ~ and so the behavior never got better cause the parent just assumed that if they forgot than I would step up and do it for them they were not motivated to change because they did not 'need' to change the behavior ... so now I have a 2 strikes policy for dealing with this!

I still keep 'extra' clothes/diapers for an emergency however a client gets ONE bail out to forget something where I will provide the back up item for them that day. They get a reminder at this point that 'next time you might not be so lucky and I might not have what is needed and you will have to go home and get it making yourself late for work ~ please ensure X has what is needed daily. They are reminded to bring what is needed at pick up plus replacement of whatever they 'borrowed' back to the program the next morning.

If they forget AGAIN I am assertive! I feel that it is than becoming a 'pattern' and want the message that this behavior will not be tolerated and so I send them back home to go get what is needed for the day and if I do not trust them to actually DO IT and come back than I send them with their child in tow to go get it. I do this as a natural consequence for their poor planning choice ~ IMO making them late for work aids to help them get motivated to create a PLAN for ensuring that they arrive to daycare with everything their child needs each day than so be it ... because sadly for many people until their behavior negatively affects them they will never GET IT and make change of said behavior because they learn that someone will always 'bail them out so its all cool' .

My long winded point is if we do not like a behavior in either a child or a client than we need to create a natural consequence for that behavior that motivates them to change it otherwise we have to learn to 'live with' the behavior because until they are motivated to change it they will not

[daycarewhisperer]

I keep a full set of everything I could possibly need for every kid every day. I provide all of their shoes, coats, jackets, and have full spares of sweats, sweatshirts, shorts, socks, footed pajamas, onesies etc. It doesn't matter what they come in, I can fix it. My only issue is the real estate it takes up and keeping my staff assistant from sending it home on the kids.


I have a crew of great day care parents year after year but the clothing issues I have never been able to solve. As the quality of clothing gets worse and worse over the years, even when they do send their stuff it often doesn't meet my standards for ease, safety, and warmth in the winter. Over the years I just collected clothing from quality brands and stocked for any case scenario of any age group and any size for eight kids a day.

Just yesterday we went through our coats, hats, shoes, and sweatshirts to make packs of winter gear for every kid. I don't use the stuff they come in so we don't have to sort thru that to get what they need to go outside. We just put together a pack that fits and dress, then undress, and repack to put by their beds. It keeps everything together and keeps the staff time WAY down in getting the kids ready and out the door every day for our walks.

[kidlove]

i go to second hand stores and garage sales and always pick up random needed thins, such as rain boots of a "general" size, hats, mitts, always have plenty of snow pants and sweatshirts, and coats. when my kids outgrow theirs I keep them in the basement in a tote for that unexpected snow or un-ready parent. In this job I have noticed ALOT of people don't think the same way I do, and properly dressing your child has many different meanings to so many people. The ONE thing I do make sure of is that I get ALL my stuff back at the end of the day....and make it a point to the parent, "lets go in the house to get miss ______'s clothes off so we have them for next time"......a lot of times if you just make a nice comment to the parent at the end of the day "today was a very cold day, maybe tomorrow he needs a warmer coat, nose was quite red this morning after out door play"......all it takes (most times) is a verbal/non verbal comment.

[kidlove]

play and learn: so if a child comes improperly dressed do you seriously turn them away in the am? do you tell the parent to go home and dress them appropriately?

[Play and Learn]

play and learn: so if a child comes improperly dressed do you seriously turn them away in the am? do you tell the parent to go home and dress them appropriately?

Yes, I have in the past. Why should I inconvenience the other families because one kid isn't ready because mom/dad didn't come with the proper clothing? Make it inconvenient for that family that isn't 'ready' for the day.

Call me a bitch, but I don't put up with shit like that. That family CHOSE to have kids; well, suit up and take care of your kids properly! AND....my families RESPECT me and my business.

I also have it in my manual that there are certain items that are to be left at daycare during each season. They don't come with it, they're not allowed to come until it's in my hands. I don't go out and buy things to have as extras here.

[kidlove]

good for you for keeping them, not having them go somewhere else. I put myself in someone elses shoes, there have been MANY times I have sent my kids off to school "dressed inapropriately" I don't watch the weather to prepare so if rain comes in the afternoon, they run off the bus in the rain for the house, oops. Now, there are MANY parents who are just delinquently taking care of their kids in some areas, not dressing proper, not feeding proper and such. I have also noticed there are some parents who God's honest truth.."think" they are dressing their kid properly (one parent who never puts a hat on the kid or warm enough coat) because maybe "they" feel okay in the weather, and "kids are tuff" they always say....those are the ones I dress. Some may say I am MORE WILLING to "do" for my families, but that's one of the things that sets me apart from the rest. IMO I guess I am just surprised to hear that you can keep parents (they don't go to another provider) if you can be so straight forward as to send them home if not dressed properly? No offense to you, really, just a little surprised. have to remember though.....I am a MAJOR people pleaser!!!

[Play and Learn]

I just have my set rules, and parents have to abide by them. Why should I cater to someone who doesn't respect my rules that I worked hard to put into a manual for them?

If they can't respect my rules, business and my home, then they can leave! The same goes for my dance school as well.

[Mamma_Mia]

The first time I'll give a reminder on the spot AND again at p/u.
Second time forgetting I'd tell them that the 'child' needs these items, please go and get them.

I too walk to the bus and I can't have little ones walking in just a sweater! I'm NOT going to buy things for 'just in case'. My daughter isn't a big 2yr old so IF I happen to have something that fits I'll lend it for the bus walk and then they can go home the way they were dropped off. BUT what I tell the parents is that "poor XXXX was freezing at the bus stop since it ran 10mins late...." lol usually that clicks in! Guilt works!

I had that on the frst day of school...mom dropped of her son with sandals, shorts and a tshirt. extra shorts and undies in the bag as he is training. That's it....not sure of your areas but it was raining cats&dogs that day! Mom also knows I had to go to the bus stop to pick up her DAUGHTER! (who also didnt have proper gear). Well after saying that dcb was complaing that his toes were cold (evil laugh because he didn't) mom the next day had unbrellas, jackets, extra socks and a pair of runners ready!