We call this behavior 'learned helplessness' .... they have learned that if they sit there long enough looking helpless someone else will do it for them ... we are such a society of rushed behavior that most families do not give children the time to learn and master simple things like dressing.

Children are perfectly CAPABLE of starting to do this in infancy ... a 1 year old should be able to pull their shoes and socks off and by 18 months be figuring out how to put them back on if given the time to practice this verse being told 'no don't touch your shoes'!

I actually have things like this in the dress up centre to help them 'practice' during times when we are not rushing.

I do not think you are being unrealistic at all in having this expectation ~ also agree with the others that you need to have clients on board to get quicker success otherwise if they are used to holding out long enough that their grown up will do it for them ~ they are not motivated to TRY in order to master it.

My crew are typically all 'self dressing' by 18 months with me just helping with the zippers, pulls and tricky parts if they have shoes / boots that are hold I will hold them for them while they put their feet in and so forth.

I currently have a 15 month old who can follow directions to go to his cubby and get his shoes and hat and come to the front step ~ he sits down and opens his velcro himself and hands them to me to hold the tongue back and keep the shoe in place while he wiggles his foot in himself and he than closes the velcro up .... children are VERY capable if we set them up for success by giving them the time and tools to practice and little man is VERY proud of himself to be given the time to do this ~ he gets pissy if his parents try to do it for him cause they are rushing him and do not want to give him the time to help do it.