Peering Neighbours

[samantha3]

I don't know what to do! I run my dayhome out of an apartment and the neighbor above me is constantly looking down at us, cracks his door open just enough so it's not closed... I dont get it!? It is driving myself and the neighbor daycare provider crazy because it is just creepy....

Sometimes we chat/vent about childcare ideas/parents who bother us etc, but it is pretty weird that he is doing this (he is at home on a mat leave with a baby and an older child who is about 3....)

I know there is not much I can do about this, but I just need to vent

[kidlove]

Do you think he is watching you for some reason? Or bothered by the noise of the kids? but he is at home with his own kids?....maybe you can acknowledge his watching somehow. Can you come in contact with him, to talk?

[Connect]

hello,
I used to work full-time and always on the go. Now that I am at home there are times when I feel lonely and need adult conversation around me. I put on the radio and listen to CBC when it is downtime. Maybe for him (who may not be used to staying home) might find your "presence" comforting. Also, maybe he might be interested in having you as his home provider and wants to know how you are with the children?

[Inspired by Reggio]

I will admit that my first gut reaction was wonder if he is hoping for an 'invite to a play date' cause he is bored and lonely but is too embarrassed to invite himself into your group and is hoping if you could 'see' him that you'd take the first step .... but than I reread it as your neighbor 'above you' so than had a hard time imagining how would you be able to see each other at all and if his door is open cause there would be a floor between you?

Is it his patio door that is being left open a crack ~ cause if so when I lived in an apartment my patio door to the balcony was always open this time of year ~ I was not trying to eavesdrop on neighbors or anything however it is just part of apartment living that you could 'hear' a conversation if they were out on their balcony too?

[samantha3]

Reggio- the deck that I am on is much much bigger as it is meant for daycare (enough space for five children to freely ride bikes), So I can see into half there apartment (If I look, I try not too as we are all living in such small quarters.... but when someone is starring at you it is hard not to notice!).

You can hear word for word conversations as the building across the street is concrete so the sound just bounces off....

Just creepy, thanks for the support!

[Inspired by Reggio]

I would call him out than .... 'Excuse me I notice you keep looking out at us~ are we being too loud?' next time you notice him staring not in a snotty way or anything just a friendly tone ... maybe he just honestly is wanting some 'interaction' and does not know how to start or if he is 'staring' hopefully being noticed that he is will freak him out or if his staring is because he is pissy about you being out there you can have a frank discussion about the kids 'needing' some outdoor time and perhaps you can find a compromise?

It would wig me out if someone was staring at me for sure ~ I would have to say something. I have issues with neighbors as it is with the smoking and it carrying over into my yard when we are out there as well as it because the houses are so close in cities these days it comes right into the house as well and for a while I just gave them 'looks' and would take the child somewhere else to not be exposed to it and we'd keep the windows closed at the back of the house but than finally worked up the courage to say something to them because it was making me so frustrated basically saying that while they had a right to do as they pleased in their yard and I wanted to respect that it was seriously affecting the enjoyment of MY YARD because I did not want the children exposed to second hand smoke and could we find a compromise of them please refraining from smoking while I was outside with mine ~ and they've been much better about that ... I still have to deal with their smoke coming in the house though

[Momof4]

Creepy! Can you ask the superintendent what they can do to help?

[playfelt]

[QUOTE=samantha3;2637 3]Sometimes we chat/vent about childcare ideas/parents who bother us etc, but it is pretty weird that he is doing this (he is at home on a mat leave with a baby and an older child who is about 3....)QUOTE]

Do you think he is hoping that the two of you might include him or at least include his 3 year old who probably is driving him crazy. Is there a chance it is the child that is opening the door but can only open it as far as the deadbolt chain and dad is too busy to notice or do anything about it - especially if it keeps the child entertained.

If the wife thinks he is ok with the two kids at home and he seems to be managing he probably isn't that bad a person to have around but I'm sure he is very nervous about asking if he can be included. What if after daycare hours maybe even when the wife is home or even talk to the wife first with the idea we know he is there with the kids and well we get the feeling they are watching us play outside and wondered if they might like to come out when we do so your son could play with the other kids reminding her of course that the dad must remain out the entire time too since you can not take any responsibility for the child. I know it seems creepy but it could be more a case of lonliness than anything else.