Struggling...

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Hello,

Sorry you are having such a hard time. I know how difficult and rude older children and they seem to really annoy. One of the reasons why I know I cannot handle them. I have been in your shoes. Have you read the book How to Talk so Kids Can Listen by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. This book gives possible scenarios on how to have kids listen to you. It recommends that for example, to get kids to listen give them choices. It sounds like they need to do activities that interests them. Find out what they like to do. With school agers I find finding activities that interests them can help them keep occupied. For example, cooking sessions where they get to cook something and share it? Observe and listen to conversations. Generally, kids this age are into the current shows and video games but see if you can provide board games that is geared to their age? it might be helpful Also google activities to do with schoolagers and you will get some answers. Acknowledge their feelings. So if one says "Do we have to? Says "sounds like you are not interested what would you like to do? Have them write you a list and also have them make a list as to what are expected behaviours in your home. Let them be empowered to think for themselves. The fact they are making the rules might actually have them abide by their own rules. Also have them write possible consequences if rules are not followed and ensure to post these rules up. Hopefully you will consider some of these ideas.