Time out?

[Momof4]

I don't think that those timeouts are necessary in our day to day life. So,I never bought any type of time out accessories. Because we are having watch with us to check time. So, what is the necessary of time outs?

What do you use as a method of disciplining a child so that they learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour?

[kidlove]

Daycarewhisperer: you are doing the exact same thing as "time out" just calling it something else. you are removing the child from the problem, making a clear message of "what you did was not okay", and giving them time to reflect. That is a "time-out" IMO. thats exactly what I do, and it does work....you send a clear message to the child, "I am in charge" and you give them time to think about what they have done.

After a "time-out" I will address the situation with the child, we will talk about the "right" choice, I will encourage them to apolligize to me or who ever they offended, and "back to play"......because they spend time in "time-outs" I see them, stop....think.....an d sometimes change their choice before the same mistake.....other times, they will right their wrong. ex. if they hit someone....they think about it, then quickly say "sorry" give a hug, and I say...."thankyou" for doing whats right. therefor, timeout must work. (if done right)

[Momof4]

Yes, I've been seriously thinking about all of this because I do want to give 100% to my business, but I agree with you kidlove, that I want every situation to be dealt with as it happens and move on with our day.

[playfelt]

I think one of the problems in using time out with toddlers is that it is like being punished for something you didn't know in many cases. This is the time when they are learning what is right and what is wrong and what the limits are. When they make a "mistake" it is just as easy to address it and tell them what they did wrong, what they should have done and then make it right. Then just move on and let it go. Not making an issue out of it just using it as a teaching moment. And some kids will need several repeat lessons before they get it.

When I give a time out it is for repeatedly doing the same thing and as mentioned above it is more often than not a child that is just having a bad day for one reason or another and not in the mood to be part of the group. A rest on the couch and life can start over.

[kidlove]

totally agree playfelt, no matter where the time out takes place, thats all its for is to have a chance to rest/reflect and then start over fresh. Timeouts should be used for more of a "major" offense, biting more than once, hitting more than once, not listening to teacher, or hurting others. If you use your judgement well and don't "time-out! time-out! time-out!" all day, pick your nec. offenses and let the "little" things go with a quick "reminder" rather than making a big deal out of it. You are doing right with timeouts. IF you are using them multiple times a day? something is off and you need to reevaluate your process.

[Momof4]

Yes, I agree. First I tell the child to stop, the second time I use my louder voice and the 3rd time I use my very stern loud angry voice and warn them that it is their last chance to stop doing whatever they are doing because the next time will be a time out. Most children will stop misbehaving at the first or second warning.

[kidlove]

Just like any other form of "firm" discipline...if done/used correctly...you should only have to use a time-out once or twice, and after that a quick "do you want a time-out?" and the child will fly right. Same way with spanks....I spanked my kids a few times when younger and now its "do you want a spanking?" and they usually straighten up. You have to give a consequence and ALWAYS follow through.

[daycaremum]

"Just like supernanny came up with the minute for each age idea, someone else came up with an idea that kids would be confused by using a time out spot for sleeping and time outs. If you have a good experience with time out then do what works for you." Daycarewhisperer

The minute per year of age was not created by SuperNanny, we have been doing this for years in daycare centres and I graduated with my ECE in 1998.

[Momof4]

Daycaremum, is that what you do? 1 minute per age? My daycare only goes from babies to age 4 as do most daycare centres I would guess so that's not unreasonable I suppose. I only use a timeout for maybe 30 seconds until they have looked me in the eye and acknowedged that they understand what they did wrong. I haven't used a timeout in months except for a couple of times because I don't have any toddlers going through any rough stages right now, they are all playing together wonderfully. I'm always so thankful with a happy group. Well, and then there is the new baby screamer, but that's another story.