Time out?

[eoinsmom]

My experience has been that you learn what works for each kid. Some kids need a 'time out' and some need a 'time in'. I have one boy who will ask to be put in his playpen for a cool off time to gather himself (2 years old). My son (4 yrs old) freaks out if put in his bed alone for a time out, but is able to calm down and gather sitting in the chair in our living room. The rest of the kids fall into these two basic categories for what works to let them calm and re-center. I also don't do a min for year of age, since I find that doesn't seem to really work. I have the kids stay in their calming area until they are able to tell me that they feel ready to come back and join in. This seems to work wonderfully for us. All the kids (ages 2 to 5 years) are able to understand that they can come back and play when they are calmed down and feeling better. They just sometimes seem to need a break from the excitement of the day to sit, cry, and process their emotions; then they are able to come back and play with a clear mind and better mood. I check in on them while they are sitting wherever they may be (playpen or chair) and ask if they are ready to come back yet. Each kid has consistently been able to tell me when they feel ready emotionally to come back and act appropriately. I have been exposed to a variety of different parenting theories through my work as a child protection frontline worker in Ontario and Alberta, as I had to attend workshops and teach methods to the parents on my caseload. From the different approaches and theories, this is what I have come up with as being effective for the kids in my care - but I wholly believe that you need to assess each child individually to see what works with their personality. I was just turned onto this author http://connectedparenting.com/ through my other job (I'm an Adoption home assessment writer on weekends) and I enjoyed her approach and thoughts.