What do other daycares think of this situation?

[kidlove]

Sorry this happened.....the only thing I can think of is she is inexperienced and didn't bargain for such a "rough" go of things. It is difficult to start a new child who won't eat or maybe cries all day. But,.....knowing children as I do, you need to give them time to adjust, especially children who have never been in Day Care before. Sounds like all the way around everyone is in a stinky situation. If I were to guess the situation: She decided to start a Day Care from home to be with her own daughter....HAD families lined up and for whatever reason all decided to go with someone else but you. Her initial intention was to NOT charge for deposit (making it easier on the families) but after the canceling of all the other families...she really needed money to get bills paid and due to your offer of paying ahead (perhaps talked it over with her Husband) and realized that extra cash may be a good start to get caught up on the bills that may have been lingering since taking on this new endeavor. (something she didn't anticipate)
This is the "gamble" a parent takes when going with a NEW provider, I always put myself in the parents shoes and completely agree with the idea of "going with a more seasoned provider". Choosing a provider you have to take a lot of things into consideration and "experience" is a BIG factor. even if the provider is a mother to many and has been for years, the job itself is new to her, the paperwork, the ups and downs, the difficult child, the transition for all...these are all things that can make or break someone who has never tried it before. Thank you for being willing to go with her anyway, that says a lot for all providers, you seem like a really nice person and all new providers dream of a parent like you. Not saying its not a good choice to go with some one new, just saying you took a gamble and unfortunately...didn 't come out on top. I don't think anyone is to blame here, just keep looking and learn from this situation. Maybe it would be a better idea to go for someone who's been in the business a little longer. Only because you are new at this too, going with someone inexperienced is kind of like "the blind leading the blind". As far as losing your deposit? well...have you found another provider yet? if not....and your child is in "quality" care with this provider....just stick it out, sympathize with her...keep and open communication for the next few weeks and get your moneys worth in daycare. if you are not comfortable with keeping your child in care, I guess you will lose the money, considering she has offered her services through the required time on the contract and you will have to forgo your deposit. Good Luck finding your next provider, and for your childs sake....I hope this one will "stick"

[treeholm]

I am so sorry you had this experience. You will no doubt find it difficult to trust the next caregiver until she "proves" herself, and that makes it hard on all of you. It does sound like this person did not plan carefully or do her research. She would have had a contract ready before she began, and she would have understood that transition is tough for everyone. I spent about 8 weeks doing my research before I opened, and it has made my opening easier than I expected. It annoys me that someone would see this as a "I'm home anyway, I'll just do daycare and make money while I'm home anyway" venture instead of realizing that this is a business, and the dynamics of adding extra children to your own is REAL WORK! I certainly feel that I earn every penny, I'm not just hanging out at home plopping the kids in front of the tv all day... Just my 2 cents' worth. I hope you are able to find someone like the ladies on this forum and that your next daycare experience is positive!

[sminoli]

I have been operating and running my home daycare for over 8 years, I am very professional and organized. For the past few weeks in my neighborhood, there has been a lot of new caregivers, the few of them that I spoke too, recently lost their government jobs. Everyone wants to stay home and operate a home daycare. It is not for everyone, it can be stressful at time and dealing with parents sometime is not easy. When you have a home daycare, it is a business. My suggestion would be to find someone that has been a caregiver for a few years and with some excellent references. It's unfortunate that you first daycare experience had to be a bad experience. Good luck to you and your family.

[Inspired by Reggio]

See this is what saddens me about experiences like this everyone is saying it was the 'newbie' that was the issue here and beware the newbie and IMO that is NOT what the issue was at all ... the very same thing could have happened with a 'seasoned' provider and HAS happened if you look at forums for statistics ... burnt out providers who sign on new families and within a week or so decide to 'close' because they were not 100% committed to their business anymore and rather than 'pausing' to reflect on what was best before moving forward making a commitment they made the commitment anyway cause they did not want to pass up the $$ in the meantime ... IMO this is not a 'newbie' issue but an issue of professionalism or lack there of on the person who entered into the business contract .... IMO if you are not 100% sure about your plan to do this or not you should not be making commitments you cannot keep specially to CHILDREN whose emotional development and attachment is put at risk by fly by the night persons who come into their lives only to leave a week or two later

IMO one of the FIRST questions any provider thinking of entering this field should be asking themselves is 'how many children do I need to have enrolled to be viable' because if you need to be FULL at all times to make basic ends meet than you better have a very STRONG business plan and SAVINGS before even starting out which leads to the second question you need to ask yourself 'what is my business plan for the financial instability of being self employed' because if your family relies on your income to pay KEY bills in your family budget verses just the 'extras' that you could do without in a true pinch than THIS field is a huge risk cause it is a feast or famine industry where one minute you could be turning clients away and the next minute you could suddenly find yourself living on 1/5 your previous income for weeks or months!

IMO when seeking childcare one should look for signs of 'long term commitment' to the business at hand ... there is a difference between someone who just opens up their doors and takes in a few kids and someone operating a BUSINESS of home childcare ... seeking someone who has researched this and is likely in it for a long haul you can look for signs such as has the person registered the business name they are using, taken the time to have created a website, created a contract and parent handbook, when you ASK them how long do you plan on doing this do they have an answer that flows off the tongue as if they have 'given it thought' and so forth, have they invested in creating 'space' in their home for children to thrive across all the domains or is it evident they just opened their doors and are making use of a few odds and sods left over from their own children and so forth. The internet is full of resources for clients seeking childcare in what to look for in a quality early learning program ~ make sure to choose someone who has invested in their business enough to ensure they are all covered and you should have a positive experience!

I was a newbie once myself ~ we all were and thankfully people took a chance on us so that we were able to become viable and now be 'seasoned providers' but the difference between us and this provider is that we were truly invested in making this work ~ obviously this person should have done more research to ensure she was cut out for this field

[sunnydays]

What a sad story! I hope you will find a new daycare ASAP. Personally, I would not want to send my child back to that daycare...if she is struggling so much with it and so unhappy with it, that is not a good environment for your child to be in! Is there any way you can take a leave of absence from work in order to find a daycare? I just would worry that she has no reason to provide excellent care to your child now that she doesn't need your business nor does she need your reference as she won't be doing daycare...plus her character has shown some less than wonderful traits with keeping your security deposit...and she has admitted she is struggling...sounds like a recipe for disaster to me

[Connect]

hello,
sorry to hear about your situation. You should get your money back. It is only fair. Maybe she got cold feet. Being a home care provider is certainly not an easy job. Very few can do it and I fully admire those who can.

[momof5]

I opened my day home a year ago, I have taken the time to create my website, make sure i have all my proper paperwork, dedicated my main floor for my daycare. Spent tons of time and money to make this happen,and i am always looking into ways i can better my dayhome. I don't think it's fair to judge "new" providers when most of us have put our hearts and souls into providing excellent quality care for these little ones. Us "New" providers have to work so much harder to prove to families that we are just as good as the seasoned care providers out there.
We 'Newbies ' have to sell our program to families so much harder when interviewing, since there are so many families that would rather sign on with a well established dayhome.
I know there are excellent 'new' dayhomes out there.

[Momof4]

Yes, we all started out 'new' at this at the beginning, but the only way to make a good reputation and have good references is to be reliable, trustworthy, caring and honest and the original poster didn't get any of that. So I assume you won't be a reference for her either! When we are new we are building a business and that takes a professional attitude and commitment to the families in our care.

[cfred]

So sorry to hear about your poor experience. I agree with everyone else.....she got into it without really understanding the business or what to expect. You are absolutely correct in feeling ripped off. You should absolutely get your deposit back, but the question is how up to the chase are you? It's a shame that providers like her are out there because it does indeed make it hard for dedicated newbies to get a good start.

The fact that she asked you for the deposit immediately prior to starting your son makes me think that yes, you've been scammed a bit. It sounds to me like she was just looking for any 'reasonable' excuse to let you go. Anyone who's in this business knows it takes time for a child to adjust. It's almost never an immediate fit. It's hard and no one enjoys the transition, but it's part of the gig and we've all gone through it many times I'm sure. She was terribly unprofessional.

Good luck in your (I'm sure frantic) search for daycare on short notice. Again, I'm so sorry you had this experience.

[diamondmine]

Well, we are looking for new daycare now and hope we find a good place asap. Neither one of us can take time off work since we don't have anymore vacation time left for the year. I feel like I made the wrong choice because we interviewed a few people who all seemed great, and decided to go with her. I don't feel like I can contact the others now after telling them we had decided to go with another daycare after interviewing them. We have pretty much told them they were second choice, haven't we?

So now we are scrambling trying to find a good caregiver and he will be going back to her for the next two weeks until we find someone new. My son didn't go today because he wasn't feeling well all weekend and neither is my husband so they stayed home today. He will be going back tomorrow. I spoke with the caregiver face to face today to let her know he wasn't coming today but will be back tomorrow, which was best as it seems she has also caught whatever they have and wasn't feeling well today either, but didn't want to call in sick on me.
We'll just have to take it all as a learning experience and get on with it. I would rather not shufffle my kid around so much but at the same time while I think it's a crap situation I don't feel at all that he's in any harm in her care.

I'm going to take the deposit thing as her reaction to how the other families that told her they were signing on left her in the lurch and "held up" spots she could have filled with other kids. To be completely honest I don't think she actually found a job though. I think she just doesn't want to be honest and say she doesn't think our son is a good fit. If that is the case and she is planning on continuing daycare with other children then I hope she is more prepared for how some children can react and need a "transition" time which is usually more than a few days. My son wasn't bad. She said he would have times during the day when he was upset and "sad" and she couldn't cheer him up. He didn't want to eat lunch for her (but would eat snacks and juice or milk), and slept a couple hours each day without fuss, just put down in the pack and play and would go to sleep. He would have a cranky morning, but then would be fine and happy in the afternoon or vice versa. When my husband would pick him up at the end of they day he wasn't running for his arms or anything, he seemed happy. She thought it was weird that he didn't like to be hugged by her daughter (would play side by side with her but didn't want her hugging him or touching his head etc...) I don't think she expected any sort of separation anxiety. I hope if she is planning on continuing daycare and finding a better "playmate" for her daughter that things go better (or maybe a little worse? lol!).