What do other daycares think of this situation?

[Judy Trickett]

My take is either of these:

1) She has never done daycare or had a child in daycare. It sounded easy and fun to stay at home with her kid instead of going back to work and having daycare kids would bring in income. She doesn't know that a kid isn't going to land on her doorstep and feel like home within a couple of days.

2) Her plan to stay at home was screwed up when the other two kids cancelled and she realized she wasn't going to have enough incoming money with just one kid but thought she would go ahead with it and see if she could get more kids. When she didn't get more kids, she decided to go back to work but had signed a contract with us and wasn't going back for a few weeks so went ahead with it, asked for two weeks deposit the night before he started (after repeatedly saying she didn't want a deposit) and provided care for one week, then let us know she was going back to work.

We feel we have paid $600.00 for 5 days of care because it is just too disruptive to wait out the two weeks at her house and change things up again at a new place after being with her for a total of three weeks. I feel it is better to just find a new place asap and start him to kind of lessen the disruptiveness of the situation. But, then we are out two weeks. On top of that, of course we will have to pay a new daycare provider a deposit plus pay for his care at the new place while we are still paying for the old place.

My question: What do you think? Am I at all allowed to feel somewhat scammed?

And your take on things would be bang on.

Every daycare provider started out at some point being a "new provider". And obviously anyone who has been at this job a few years wasn't like the provider you speak of in your case. BUT, there is a HUGE risk taken when you sign on with a newbie provider for exactly the reasons you list above. Daycare is HARD from a mental and emotional standpoint (for the provider) and when you combine that with the fluctuations in income and the entire affair of having to run a BUSINESS it can be way more than a lot of newbies signed on for. And this is why statistically most "providers" don't last more than a few months. I find that around late July or August of each year a whole new crop of providers show up on Kijiji or daycarebear advertising. This happens because they realize, after a nice, long summer, that they would rather stay home than go back to work. They decide to become daycare providers. September is THE biggest daycare entry month for children. But something I have personally seen over the years is that around late October, early November I start getting inquiries for immediate care. I get those inquiries because some of those newbie providers up and quit because they couldn't make it work. In my ten years in this business I have had probably six children start immediately due to their provider closing up.

What she did was wrong. I understand that she "tried" to make it work and probably wasn't maliciously trying to screw you over But the fact still remains that she put you in a very tough position. It was unprofessional. My guess is that she put absolutely no thought into becoming a daycare provider and didn't do any research before she started advertising and luring in clients.

If I was you, I would ask her for your deposit back. Did you sign anything that said it was non-refundable? Did she have a contract? Most providers have a probationary period on their contracts where either party can walk away with in the first few weeks. But, as I said, being a newbie, she probably didn't do her homework and those things I just mentioned are non-existent.

I hate reading about issues like this because it gives all home daycare a bad name.

I hope you find a great daycare out there somewhere.

[Judy Trickett]

Diamondmine........m aybe if you posted your city someone here might be able to set you on the path to finding a great provider in your city.

[Judy Trickett]

Deposit cheque was cashed as well as this past week's care. Will have to keep sending him until I get new daycare which could be a week or maybe two weeks who knows. Since the deposit is cashed we will not be giving any more money and she "owes" two weeks care anyway.

This bothers me. And I will tell you why. I know that personally, if I am having problems with a client (THEY are the problem) and I know they are leaving my care then I will CASH their cheques outright so I know I have their money. By cashing the cheques outright (instead of tossing them in the ATM) it ensures their money is in my hand and they can not undermine me and cancel the cheque etc and leave me having provided care and not having been paid.

My point is, that when someone cashes a cheque that makes me wonder why they felt the need to get money IN HAND as an assurance. Either they are worried you are not gonna hold up your end of the bargain or they don't intend to hold up theirs. You know?

[kidlove]

I WOULD call those other Day Cares for another "chance". If they are good people they will welcome you with open arms. All you need to do is let them know you may have made a mistake at choosing a proper provider....if they have any reasonable understanding they will do just that...understand and give you a second interview.(who knows, they may have thought they lost a "good one" when you called to say, you were going somewhere else) You are not the only parent who has to make a few moves before finding the right Day Care. You live and learn, and hopefully with the next one you will know MORE of what to look for, doesn't mean you won't hit a road block or two but you should be better off because of this situation.
Good for you for giving this woman the chance to finish her contract with your son....says a lot about your charactor. I do believe that he is not in "poor" care, otherwise you wouldn't have chosen her in the first place...things just didn't pan out as expected (on both your parts) but it is really great that you and her can work things out for the next few weeks.
Sometimes it really does just boil down to "not a good fit", IF she really doesn't have a job lined up, I do have to say "shame on her"....never lie! doesn't get you anywhere, she should have just come out and told you things weren't working out! (if thats the truth)
I have to add though, although you could have a great outcome with a "new" provider the next time around, I do put myself in others shoes (and in your shoes) I would go for a provider who shares the same beliefs as you, understands you when you talk, you agree with ALL her rules and regulations, of course...you have a "good feeling" about, AND last but not least...due to the fact that you are "new" to Day Care as well....I would look for a Provider who has done care for a while, someone who has alot of families "under their belt" (maybe you can ask for references) and always look for OPEN and HONEST. Good Luck in your search.
ps. ultimately you can view this as a learning experience rather than a "mistake". The more you experience the more you learn!!!!

[kidlove]

I dont know Judy, regarding "cashing the check right away"....it is possible that this provider literally cashed this check because the business wasn't "booming" as she expected (due to the families that pulled out) and she truley NEEDED the money to pay bills, almost willing to bet that money has been spent. And she doesn't have any coming in too fast, due to lack of clients. So, going back to get your money's worth, is just about the only option for this Mother.
"You can't get blood from a stone" if the money is gone...it's gone.

[Sandbox Sally]

diamondmine, where are you located? Maybe one of us has room and is nearby. Worth a shot!

[Judy Trickett]

I dont know Judy, regarding "cashing the check right away"....it is possible that this provider literally cashed this check because the business wasn't "booming" as she expected (due to the families that pulled out) and she truley NEEDED the money to pay bills, almost willing to bet that money has been spent. And she doesn't have any coming in too fast, due to lack of clients. So, going back to get your money's worth, is just about the only option for this Mother.
"You can't get blood from a stone" if the money is gone...it's gone.

Then why not just toss it in the bank machine or deposit it in your account. As far as banking is concerned there is a difference between "depositing" a cheque and "cashing" it. When you deposit the cheque it can still be cancelled within a certain time frame. But when you cash it is done and the payee can not get their funds back.

[kidlove]

guess i didn't consider the difference.......may be she had to pay a bill with cash.....? not sure. perhaps she knows that little trick and can't afford to have it reversed for her to have to pay the parent back, so she cashed it, then deposited back into her account.

[diamondmine]

Just thought I would update this post since it has been a few months.

The daycare provider that cancelled the contract and cashed our deposit cheque should have owed us two more weeks of care because she was paid by cashing the deposit cheque. Well, for the next two days she called me saying she was sick so I couldn't drop him off. The day after that, I showed up with him and stayed for a while. He of course was fussing/clingy and she kept saying "he really doesn't like it here", "he's going to have such a bad day", "are you sure you want to leave him here? I don't think he wants to stay" etc...Things to make me say "yeah, your right I'll just not go to work again today and stay home with him". It was clear she basically didn't want to take care of him in spite of the fact she had been paid for the next two weeks by cashing the two weeks deposit cheque. I'm not leaving him with a person who clearly at that point wanted nothing to do with him. He obviously by that time did not want to stay there either.

Thank God I have awesome parents who drove an hour each way for two weeks to take care of my son during the day so I wouldn't be fired from my job. I called a few of the other daycare providers we had first interviewed but one had filled her spot and the other isn't doing her startup daycare anymore because she didn't get enough kids. So we started looking around again. After interviewing anybody we could at this point that had space (about 5 interviews) we decided on one. He loves it there. The first week he fussed a bit at drop off but after that he was totally fine. He loved the other kids right from the start (no idea why he hated the other girl's daughter so much). I am so grateful there are normal people out there in this business!!

I'll also add that at the time she was supposed to be taking care of him they were just finishing building their new McMansion in the new sub-division a little ways from where they were living (she let me know at the start of his care that in a months time the daycare would be in the new house) The house they were currently living in had been on the market for a few months and still had not sold. She was planning on running a daycare to stay home with her daughter instead of going back to work. The old house as of today still has not sold so they have basically been paying for two houses for the past few months, and I have a very good feeling that they needed some money asap. So, I really do think she cashed my cheque without ever really intending on providing the care because she was going back to work. I realize that some situations can make otherwise good people do bad things, but still. Our new daycare provider has a 30 day grace period, where either party can cancel care if it isn't working out for any reason. After the 30 days the rules of the contract apply, which I think is a good idea.

[Momof4]

Thanks for the update. I'm glad you have wonderful parents that were able to help you out and that you have found a good caregiver for your son. I'm also glad you didn't leave him with the other woman because it sounded like a scary situation and he might have been mistreated.

But did you get your money refunded because you should definitely send her a letter at the very least asking for your money back or you will contact your lawyer. It's terrible that this kind of person gives you a bad impression of our business so I'm glad you found someone who can renew your faith!