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  1. #1

    What do other daycares think of this situation?

    Hello All,

    My 17 month old son just started at daycare. We interviewed a month in advance and found someone we liked. We met her a few times and brought our son over to let him play etc..so she could see if he was a good "fit" with her daughter who is the same age, a little bit younger.

    She is just starting her daycare (never done it before) instead of going back to work after her maternity leave as she wants to stay home with her daughter. At both meetings I asked her if she would like a two weeks deposit as I know this is common policy at most home daycares. She kept saying no, that she doesn't do that. At the time we interviewed she was going to have her daughter, my son, another boy a little over a year, and a 3 year old. By the time our son started she said the other kids had cancelled or she guested she must have been their second choice. So it was just going to be her daughter, and my son.

    We met with her and signed a contract for care etc on a Thursday. He was starting on Monday. Sunday night I get an email from her saying she changed her mind and wanted a two weeks deposit. The next day (Monday -his first day) I give her the two weeks deposit and a post dated check for the end of the week for that weeks care.

    So he goes there for five days (Monday to Friday that week). She is worried because he hasn't eaten lunch for her any day that week. He is doing this at home also, but I can usually get him to eat a little bit. He's cutting molars, is tired and cranky, and want's nothing to do with food as always when that happens. I tell her this and say it will get better in a week or so. She said he is cranky and must not like her daughter. Her daughter is always wanting to hug/kiss and he pushes her away and daughter is getting frustrated and starting to not like him. I told her it is going to take more than 3 days for him to get used to everything and I am sure a couple weeks in they will be fine together.

    Anyway, my husband picks him up from daycare Friday night of his first week and she doesn't say anything bad. The I get an email from her at 9:30pm Friday night saying she is sorry but cannot care for our son anymore as she had gotten a job opportunity she can't turn down and to take this as our two weeks notice.

    So, now after one week of care we are looking for new daycare. But, seriously? I just paid $600.00 for one week of care, because who would send their kid who is trying to get used to daycare back there for the next two weeks and then start him at a whole new daycare? My take is either of these:

    1) She has never done daycare or had a child in daycare. It sounded easy and fun to stay at home with her kid instead of going back to work and having daycare kids would bring in income. She doesn't know that a kid isn't going to land on her doorstep and feel like home within a couple of days.

    2) Her plan to stay at home was screwed up when the other two kids cancelled and she realized she wasn't going to have enough incoming money with just one kid but thought she would go ahead with it and see if she could get more kids. When she didn't get more kids, she decided to go back to work but had signed a contract with us and wasn't going back for a few weeks so went ahead with it, asked for two weeks deposit the night before he started (after repeatedly saying she didn't want a deposit) and provided care for one week, then let us know she was going back to work.

    We feel we have paid $600.00 for 5 days of care because it is just too disruptive to wait out the two weeks at her house and change things up again at a new place after being with her for a total of three weeks. I feel it is better to just find a new place asap and start him to kind of lessen the disruptiveness of the situation. But, then we are out two weeks. On top of that, of course we will have to pay a new daycare provider a deposit plus pay for his care at the new place while we are still paying for the old place.

    My question: What do you think? Am I at all allowed to feel somewhat scammed?
    Last edited by diamondmine; 09-23-2012 at 02:23 PM.

  2. #2
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    It definitely sounds like she didn't quite know what to expect, and isn't cut out for this job. Have you asked her if you could have the deposit returned so that you can use it towards a new arrangement so that your son does not have to return to her next week? So that she can spend quality time with just her daughter before she returns to work? She might actually feel relieved and just give it back. If she is not, I would just continue to send your son there for the remaining 2 weeks if you feel he is in good hands there, and use this time to not feel SO rushed in finding a new childcare arrangement. Hopefully, the next one is a better fit!! Good luck!

  3. #3
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
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    It is stories like this that break my heart as they make it that much harder for every other 'new business' to get themselves established because other parents read this and than they worry 'do not want to take a chance of a newbie because she might decide she does not like it and close up shop

    Have you signed a contract with this provider?

    Either way my guess is that the contract does not address a security deposit or notice period being 'paid' since she changed this the 1 business day before you were do to commence care so I am making an educated guess she either has NO contract or it is not properly written to protect herself or you in this circumstance.

    If there is no contract or if the contract does not address 'security deposits' being non refundable and only to be able to applied to 'service' given proper notice by either the client or the provider than I agree with Lou ~ in this instance as a parent I would firmly request the deposit back!

    Since based on the info you have provider it is the provider who is reneging on the arrangement by closing up after only one week of trying this and it is not only not fair to your child to continue going to this person for two weeks since she is closing and he has no hope of forming a 'bond' with her so why try but IME it is not IDEAL to have that many providers in such a short period for a toddler as his first experience in childcare and it could make it harder at the 'next' option you choose ... IMO better to just take the time to find someone 'new' while you stay home... if she refuses to give you your deposit back I would not send him but instead file a Better Business Bureau complaint as well as a Small Claims file to get your money back for entering into a contract not in good faith and than keeping the $$$!

    As a provider if this was ME terminating in these circumstances in the interest of good customer service and KARMA I would have offered to refund your deposit if you wanted in lieu of notice OR provide care for the two weeks if you really needed it but I would let YOU be deciding since you have done nothing wrong to breach your end of the deal and your child's behaviour is 'normal transition behaviour' and not aggressive or putting any one else at risk or causing a liability to the business basically ... IMO I would not have a leg to stand on in demanding to keep your $$$ since I agree no parent should be financially blackmailed into sending their child for a notice period when it is the provider terminating for a reason such as this .... if you'd been in care for years and she was retiring and giving notice that would be different but IMO closing 1 week into a contract just cause she 'changed her mind' is just BAD FAITH business practices and gives our business a really bad name
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  4. #4
    We signed a contract 4 days before care was to begin. She didn't have a contract or deposit policy the meetings we had with her before that. She is just starting out and I thought it was wierd, since who would start a daycare without that. But she ended up having a contract so we signed it.

    It was one day before care was to begin that she wanted a two weeks deposit, said she changed her mind. It states in the contract that two weeks written notice has to be given by either party to terminate. So that basically means she has now given us two weeks notice and we are expected to pay for the next two weeks, right? (that would be our two weeks deposit)

    My sister (who runs a daycare) says cancel the cheque. Send him if we have to for a week or two until we find a new daycare provider, and just pay her on a weekly basis for however long he is there (whether it is a week or two weeks). She said she could cash the cheque and then refuse care for the next two weeks.
    Last edited by diamondmine; 09-23-2012 at 03:49 PM.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lou View Post
    It definitely sounds like she didn't quite know what to expect, and isn't cut out for this job. Have you asked her if you could have the deposit returned so that you can use it towards a new arrangement so that your son does not have to return to her next week? So that she can spend quality time with just her daughter before she returns to work? She might actually feel relieved and just give it back. If she is not, I would just continue to send your son there for the remaining 2 weeks if you feel he is in good hands there, and use this time to not feel SO rushed in finding a new childcare arrangement. Hopefully, the next one is a better fit!! Good luck!
    This! I would either ask for the deposit back as she is the one breaking the contract or keep taking your child there for the remaining 2 weeks BUT do not pay her any more money. That deposit SHOULD go towards either the first 2 weeks or last 2 weeks of care (whichever the provider does...I do last month/weeks of care). If she is any sort of decent person, she would return your deposit so you can put it towards another spot elsewhere. It was very unfair of her to pull out after only 1 week. It sounds like she has NO idea what the hell she was doing and was not prepared for what daycare is really like.
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  6. #6
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
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    Ya ~ that is the challenge ... if the contact does not specifically say that the Security deposit given is non refundable and must be used for the last two weeks of care than you do have a case to say 'thank you but we do not need require care for the two weeks notice in this scenario and we will just be done and request your security deposit be refunded ... if she does not than I would try the cancel the cheque route with the bank and explain your situation but if she's already cashed it on you and refuses to refund it your option is to either accept care during that time frame to get your monies worth OR suck it up and not to send him and try the Small Claims court to get your $400 back assuming that 200 of that 600 was for the care last week but there is a risk that the court could side with her although given what you've shared the ambiguity of her contract could air in your favor since that is the way the law works ... if there is a reasonable way to interpret it differently than the person who did not 'draft' the contract gets the benefit of the doubt in interpretation in the courts?
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  7. #7
    Deposit cheque was cashed as well as this past week's care. Will have to keep sending him until I get new daycare which could be a week or maybe two weeks who knows. Since the deposit is cashed we will not be giving any more money and she "owes" two weeks care anyway.

  8. #8
    Euphoric !
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    Oh dear, what a horrible situation. I think you are right in your thinking that this woman thought it would be easy to 'babysit' instead of trying to run a proper daycare. It's too bad that you put your faith in her and she let you down. This is a lesson for parents to use their best instincts when choosing their daycare. You should be careful that your child is in fact safe if you decide to stay for the next 2 weeks and I agree that you should definitely get your money back since she's breaking the contract, not you.

  9. #9
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    I am so sorry. How she can do something like that especial for the little boy. O my it make me sick...... why grownup can make their mind. I am new in day care in Canada I had one before in US but situations like that not helping us new to the business. Shame on her.... Good luck with finding new day care for him.

  10. #10
    apples and bananas
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    This is horrible. Sounds like you hit the nail right on the head. She didn't know what to expect, it was harder then she anticipated and she's having trouble balancing the books without the other ones that she thought were signing up.

    I always think it's funny when a parent is telling the caregiver to relax and give it a few weeks for their child to get comfortable, that it's normal not to eat for the first little bit etc. usually it's me telling the parent that.

    So Sorry this happened to you. I think you should get your deposit back. You have to wonder if she's going to give good enough care for the next 2 weeks.

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