Does she not like me? lol

[Mamma_Mia]

It's been 3 months with my 'baby' dcg in my care but only started FT September 4th.

She's been a much BETTER baby and then when her first tooth popped out she was a dream! Still has some 'control' issues of I want it this way now which I of course don't fall for LOL but otherwise getting along pretty good. There is still one thing that bugs me and I want to know what else I can do to help her..

She will be 1yr old in a few weeks.

If I am in the room with her she will play but barely...she'll sit and grab for a few toys but stare at me and "huff huff sniff" (the sounds she makes when she's about to cry). She's not enjoying herself and really playing! BUT if I leave the room or am out of sight she does a 360!

I hid on my stairs going into the playroom and as soon as she didn't see me she was pulling up on all the toys, crawling across the entire room, pulling toys out....giggling & loud baby babble. I come back into the room and sit in view and she'll plop back into the sitting position and sit with one toy and start "huff huff sniff" again!!

I've tried sitting next to her which only got her begging for my lap. I sit across the room and she stares at me. If I leave or 'hide' she comes out of her shell! Ahhhhhh

My DH says it's because she doesn't like me! Now I know that's not the case because she arms out for me and gives me lots of kisses lol

My SIL says it sounds like when she sees me it's like she thinks "oh good you're here...now entertain me" but when I'm not she has to 'entertain' herself??

Any tips or suggestions?

[kidlove]

sounds like maybe she knows you will give her the attention she is vying for when she huff huff sniffs when you are in the room, and when you are not there it's not worth the effort because she is smart enough to know how to get your attention, and is quite well adjusted, as a matter of fact sounds like she is trying to manipulate you just as she "may do at home" to get attention as well. Def. don't think its a case of her not liking you....more a case of her trying to see what she can get from you. I would just ignore her huff huff sniffs and play with the other kids, until she realizes, "your not going to cave' and beg for her happiness. Good Luck!

[Connect]

Hello,
When I was infant teacher in daycare one of the things I learned was the importance of letting a child know that I was going to get up and do something. I was left alone with three infants (which is ratio) so if I had three babies who were new and needed me to hold at the same time and I had no helper then I had to let them know what I was up to so that they could feel more secure. I think we forget that babies are people with feelings and require the same courtesy from us. So for example, if all three babies were on my lap and I needed to start warming bottles or getting their coats ready for outside "I would say "I am getting up to warm bottles." They may all start crying, but giving them reassuring glances and saying I will be back to bring your bottle okay." I found that in time they were so used to me telling them what I was doing that they eventually settled. All day if I was on my own with three babies this is how I did things to help the infants feel reassured. Think of it this way: You are sitting with a good friend over coffee chatting away when all of a sudden with no explanation she stands up to leave with no explanation. How would you feel? Many times we almost have to place ourselves in their shoes to get a feeling of how to help an infant through these stressful times. All the best.

[playfelt]

Sound to me like mom is her source of entertainment and when alone she can play and entertain herself but she has learned to play the role of victim - oh woe is poor helpless me - whenever mom is around and now you have been given that honour. It means it isn't that she doesn't like you it is the opposite and she accepts you as the mother figure.

Since you know she can be fine just expect that and ignore any wimpering protests and just go about the day as usual. When it gets no reaction in theory it will stop. You could ask mom if she does a lot of it at home and if so how do they react to it and that will tell you a lot.

[Mamma_Mia]

Hello,
When I was infant teacher in daycare one of the things I learned was the importance of letting a child know that I was going to get up and do something. I was left alone with three infants (which is ratio) so if I had three babies who were new and needed me to hold at the same time and I had no helper then I had to let them know what I was up to so that they could feel more secure. I think we forget that babies are people with feelings and require the same courtesy from us. So for example, if all three babies were on my lap and I needed to start warming bottles or getting their coats ready for outside "I would say "I am getting up to warm bottles." They may all start crying, but giving them reassuring glances and saying I will be back to bring your bottle okay." I found that in time they were so used to me telling them what I was doing that they eventually settled. All day if I was on my own with three babies this is how I did things to help the infants feel reassured. Think of it this way: You are sitting with a good friend over coffee chatting away when all of a sudden with no explanation she stands up to leave with no explanation. How would you feel? Many times we almost have to place ourselves in their shoes to get a feeling of how to help an infant through these stressful times. All the best.

If that was the case then yes I'd agree with you. She's a tricky little one...she doesn't cry when I get up or walk away. She starts to cry when I STAY in the room....She's happy when I GET UP or leave

[Mamma_Mia]

Thanks Ladies, I thought so too. She's too smart for her age LOL

I'll word it in the right way tonight at p/u to see what they do at home....I'm feeling they go to her right away. They "say" she plays alone at home but when they say alone do they mean while they are in the room watching tv? etc.....or when they are in a different room all together??

We'll see! Thanks again!

[sunnydays]

I have an 18 month old who has been with me for close to a year now and he is a bit like that! If I am busy with something and not sitting, he will play happily, but as soon as I sit down, he seems to expect me to pick him up and do something with him. Before it was worse...he would let out little mournful cries/whimpers here and there all day long and would want me to pick him up...but I completely ignored (and continue to ignore) these cries as long as I could see that he was fine and he is much better now. I know that he is VERY babied at home...his dad carries him around and responds to his every whimper. However, he has learned over time to play on his own, so it is possible to overcome it! Just make sure that when you ignore the whimpers and huffs and snuffs, you find other times to give her positive attention