Really struggling - vent

[Yarnlover]

I agree with previous posters that you should have a chat with your doctor. As our profession is an isolated one for the most part, I can only imagine that can add to depressive symptoms as well. When you spend your day caring for others, we have to remember that self-care is equally important.

I started my daycare back in March to be at home with my Daughter after a bad daycare experience (that, and I returned to my pre-mat leave job for 5 months and it had changed substantially and was HORRIBLE, and I was struggling there). I am finding I am loving the day to day of operating a daycare, however when I start thinking long term of what I have done to my career (my previous career) and what will I do after this (when my kids are in school) I start to get really down and depressed. What helps me come back from it is reminding myself that no matter what the future holds, I will never regret this time at home with my daughter. It is such a gift me to be the one who gets to be there for all her milestones and all the precious moments I may otherwise be missing.
Don't let that crazy lady make you forget why you're doing this too. Things will start getting better soon!

[crafty]

You know what I realised when I started my daycare... is that here, bad days are SOOOO bad. This job have lots of UPs but when you are having a bad day, you can't walk away from the situation, you cant think about yourself and when you are not feeling well ...chances are EVERYBODY will feel and follow your vibe. At least for me when I was stressed about money, tired and sick that's when kids would not sleep, I would get peed on, or the little ones would not eat, fight, brake things ...BLAH all in a day. It's really difficult to get over it. My trick is I have a 'chatt' with my husband. I tell him what I feel like I need and he will try to give it to me and it also helps to talk it out ... The closest person to you will help you sort out your feelings and you can make clearer decisions.

And I totaly agree with everything reggio says ( Such a wise one that Reggio ) ...happiness is really in the little things. So whatever you need to try ... do it before making a decision you MAY regret.

Good luck !

[Connect]

Hello,
It's hard to keep going when sadness and exhaustion takes place in our mind and body. I can relate because when I was working I encountered situations that somehow affected my mood and my enthusiasm for my job. I also developed sad feelings and my heart to be there was no longer in it. I finally decided to take a leave and did so. I also went into therapy as this never happened to me before. Before I was a lively, bubbly, always on the go person. Over the months my therapy sessions enlightened me on possible causes for my "interruption." Anyway, I was encouraged to go back and was going to when I started to get anxietal as the go to back to work day approached. In the end, I decided not to go back. It is hitting us financially, but we are managing. Right now, I decided to open in the new year and take care of myself. That is all I can do. Take care of myself and my children-something I did not fully before as I was always on the go taking care of other people's children and some adults at work. So, go to your doctor and let him/her know how you are feeling. Take care of yourself. I strongly urge you to do things you enjoy. It is taking me almost a year to overcome my feelings of sadness and low self-worth, but I am happy to report that I am getting back my groove. Working on setting up my home care and taking care of my children to connect with them is helping me. All the best and many hugs for you.

[Littledragon]

Thank you ladies, so much. I cannot express how amazing it is to have the support that I do on here. Mondays seem to be the worst days for me, especially recently because my husband has been home from work and he goes out to do things and I want desperately to go with him. But then I have to remind myself that if I were working at a full time job out of the house, I wouldn't be able to do any of that anyways. At least this way, I can see him as he comes and goes.

Lately, I've just been feeling like the grass is always greener. My house is TAKEN over because it really is not set up for a daycare. I have thought of alternate ways to fix the situation, but short of moving, there isn't much of a solution there.

Then I feel like if only I could get a job working three days a week, have my son in a daycare for three days (some days, I feel like I can't offer him certain things a more educated child care provider could) and then the next two days I could be at home with him and still have my little part time boy as well.

Then other days, I think maybe I should just get a stay at home job, but then my son wouldn't have the socialization and I would most likely have to bring someone in to take care of him (I nannied for a stay at home) because although I'm at home, I would be working.

After I read what everyone said, I did sit down and write out a gratitude list. And I really am lucky to be able to offer my son all that I can because I'm staying home. And I wrote down the things that bothered me: lack of adult socilization/feeling cooped up and the stress of finding clients. Because I am still relatively new, I don't yet have the luxury of letting people go willy nilly. If I did, this new part timer would be out. So if I can find ways to fix these two things....

I tried talking to my husband about fixing our situation - cutting our cable, not going out so much, not getting take out so much, just cutting back on the little things that seem to add up so much so that when we are in a situation like this, we don't have to stress about losing money, because we'll have a little nest egg. But as I spoke he didn't say much. He works a lot and VERY hard and he deserves to have those luxuries, and it's me that makes it impossible for him not to have them - is how I feel. My husband is VERY VERY VERY supportive, but he's facing a lot of stresses at work and he's constantly worried something with happen with the daycare, and after his immense support during psycho mom, I feel terrible going to him for more.

I also spoke to my mom and she bought me (because she's awesome) some B complex vitamins. I'm on a pretty hardcore diet right now (which is probably adding to everything) and she said it's very possible that I am missing some of the vital minerals and nutrients. If that doesn't work, I will go to my doctor.

I know that there are steps I need to take to make this better for everyone, but I can't do it alone. I will need to go to my husband at some point but it seems like we're both in a standstill waiting for his effing promotion. I guess I'll give it a few more weeks, work my ass off at replacing this part timer with an older full timer and then if the situation still isn't any better, I will think about alternative measures.

Thanks again ladies for all your help! I couldn't do any of this without you

[apples and bananas]

.

I also spoke to my mom and she bought me (because she's awesome) some B complex vitamins. I'm on a pretty hardcore diet right now (which is probably adding to everything) and she said it's very possible that I am missing some of the vital minerals and nutrients. If that doesn't work, I will go to my doctor.

I have been taking a B complex lately too... it's made a world of difference, but took about a week to feel anything positive. I'm sure that will help huge! Great to hear you're feeling better.

[crafty]

Hey if it helps here is what I do to help with me feeling stuck and anti-social. My husband works long hours and weekends so YEAH I get that.

I asked my husband to come one early ONCE every 2 weeks so I can bail out on making diner and either go out or take a long bath ..pretend I"m queen for an hour with diner beeing served and all.

I get together with a friend one week night ...I don't have money to spend so what do we do ? We go for a walk, roller baldding or she just have me over with my favorite drink .... DIETE pepsi LOL.

Sometimes I really need a break so I send my kids for a sleepover at grand'ma, It's good for them to be out and do different things. I get together with a friend and we cook and bake so I have food for the daycare or supper time and we have a few glasses or bottles of wine LOL. The next day I clean the entire house before picking them up.

I became a mystery shopper. It does not pay you muhc but it gets you outta the house.

Just some tips that worked for me

[mimi]

Good for you Littledragon! I'm so glad to hear you are doing something about how you feel. You and your hubby should have a date night I think you both deserve it.

[sunnydays]

I think the others have already done a great job of giving you support and advice. I don't have anything wise or miraculous to add, but just wanted to send some support. Is there any way you can get the kids out where you might have other adults to socialize with? I find it helps a lot to go to the park or library or playgroups etc and have other adults (especially other daycare providers) to chat with. Good luck with it and know that you are not alone!

[dodge__driver11]

You kw what Dragon?

Now that my son is home w/ me other than mwf for 2 hours while in preschool my husband and I take Sundays as our day a lady from our church watch's him, and he has a great time, and from 8-5 on Sunday's there is no one here but us 2....Its so good....and he LOVES IT


But I have to say spousal support is crucial in this, without my husband I am sure I would have been in the nut barn by now (without this forum too)

Best wishes dear!! U can do it!!

[Momof4]

I can feel the stress coming out of your first post Littledragon. I can tell you that on my worst daycare days they are still better than my best day working outside the home for some body else. When I start to feel overwhelmed in the daycare biz I definitely vent and lean on my co-workers and peers in the biz because when I tell my troubles to friends and family they just don't get it. So venting here is important and we will be here for you. All the other good advice has already been given by the others.