Hi all,

I really hate coming here and whining about things but I just really need to vent with people who understand.

I am really struggling. I am on the cusp of closing down. The problem is, I don't really have a choice to have a daycare at the moment, and I'm really not enjoying it so I'm feeling really trapped.

Ever since psycho mom happened, I've been feeling like my daycare is tainted. I'm not really happy doing it anymore - for numerous reasons. I thought it would be OK if I could find someone to replace him easily and things would be smooth sailing. Well, I found a little girl - 13 months old. And I think it may have been a bad idea. She's only part-time - 3 days per week, full days. Last Friday was the first day for her to nap here. She screamed and cried until she threw up and I had to call mom to come pick her up. Now mom has emailed me today and said she's having a very hard time following my nap times and is wondering if there is any possibility in moving nap times up. She's not used to sleep training, so she doesn't know how to do it.

Since my heart really isn't in it anymore, and I feel a little bit like I'm already burning out, I don't know if I have the energy or desire to help mom sleep train. I mean, if I were a mother and my daycare provider was telling me how to nap my child, I would give up and find a more suitable daycare. And maybe I'm looking for her to give up. I would like to let them go but I feel like I would be giving up too early and my husband wouldn't like losing that income - even though it's very minimal.

I just don't know if I have the energy to break her in. I am really trying very hard to find an older child, who could play with my 2.5 year old and my son who is 14 months can continue playing with the 17 month old.

I am currently looking for other jobs outside of the daycare but seeing as how I have my son and am not willing to put him in care until he's a little older, my options are very limited.

My husband is up for a promotion which would allow me to keep only the children I currently have and not worry about finding more. But he works for the government and for anyone who has ever worked for the government, you know how everything takes FOREVER.

I'm just feeling trapped and really sad. I don't think I am cut out for this. I mean, I'm really good at it when my heart is in it, but ever since psycho mom I feel very burnt out and tired. I am quick to becomes impatient and I just want to sleep all the time. It's probably a bit of a depression but I don't know how to come out of it.

I know there isn't much advice I can get from this, but I just needed to vent with people who understand. A friend of mine told me that my heart isn't in it and it's not fair to me and the kids (which is true) and she suggested closing down. But she's a stay at home and doesn't understand that financially, closing the daycare isn't a possibility at this point.

I just feel so....sad.