Really struggling - vent

[Littledragon]

hang in there! maybe its the weather...I feel a little crappy lately too! andwhen you don't feel good about things it's really hard to see the "wonder" in this job. My hubby is at the end of his work season and feels the preasure, paychecks are smaller and he works away from home, takes more than half of his pay just to get back to work the next week......realy stressful on him, and when he is stressed, we're all stressed. Add that to the weather and the fact that I have 4 gone (3 to kindergarten and one for mom's mat) and I am down in income by $1,600.00. Not even sure how I am paying the bills. (they are getting pd well, but NO EXTRA $) aaaahhhh! really stressful....plus I am at a point in this business where I am VERY leary of anyone I don't know, for the past handful of years i have had ALL people I know or who know someone I care for. I am in unfamiliar waters right now and don't like it. I am stressed to the max with the lack of income BUT.....one thing I do know is...this is where I belong. I know it because when those little people come through my door every day and tell me they love me, I know there is more for me to do. AND it keeps me going for sure, waking up with my kids every day and getting them off to school and being there when the bus drops them off, I know this is the right thing to do. Evaluate what you are doing this for......if you can't find a good enough reason? maybe you shouldn't be doing it.....but if you do find a good enough reason.......trudge on!!!! it's not easy, but pick up your bottom lip and know that you are not alone!!!!!

Thanks Kidlove! It sounds like you and I are in the same boat! LOL My husband actually just called me and told me he rearranged the budget and everything is paid for and we have grocieres and such, but no extra money. It sucks cause we're used to having expendable income, and Christmas is coming, but I am hopeful that something comes along soon. I also spoke to him last night about reevluating the way we live because we don't necessarily live beyond our means, but its close. So, we're doing that. And I also said I wanted his support to allow me to find someone suitable rather than taking the next one that comes along because I feel like we need them. I want to find a certain age and gender. So far no bites but I'm hopeful. And I do think it is has something to do with the weather too, even though it's still sunny, it's a different atmosphere in the fall then in the summer. ALSO I think my diet had something to do with it, so I started on the B12 and Bcomplex last night and I also went to bed at 9:30.

I really feel like I am doing this for all the right reasons, but I think I was just starting to burn out. Since July, I have had THREE kids come and go from this one spot. And the first two didn't end well. One tried to jilt me out of pay and well..we know about the second one lol That's why I am going to be VERY careful of the next one I allow into my care. I know what you mean about being weary of strangers, but I'm glad you're still dedicated to what you do because at the end of the day, we are able to provide for our children as well as be there physically and emotionally for them and that's all that really matters. I'm sorry you guys are going through those stresses as well, but I see light in the future and I am hopeful...for both of us!

It's SO true!! And the second you start thinking but "John" down the street does the laundry, bathes the kids etc for HIS wife.....one day you'll hang out with "John" and see a, b & c things that he does or doesn't do that you would NOT want.....it's that old saying the grass is always greener.....but sometimes that means it's because it's fed with bullsh!t!