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  1. #11
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    Jan 2012
    Location
    Nepean, Ontario
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    Thank you ladies, so much. I cannot express how amazing it is to have the support that I do on here. Mondays seem to be the worst days for me, especially recently because my husband has been home from work and he goes out to do things and I want desperately to go with him. But then I have to remind myself that if I were working at a full time job out of the house, I wouldn't be able to do any of that anyways. At least this way, I can see him as he comes and goes.

    Lately, I've just been feeling like the grass is always greener. My house is TAKEN over because it really is not set up for a daycare. I have thought of alternate ways to fix the situation, but short of moving, there isn't much of a solution there.

    Then I feel like if only I could get a job working three days a week, have my son in a daycare for three days (some days, I feel like I can't offer him certain things a more educated child care provider could) and then the next two days I could be at home with him and still have my little part time boy as well.

    Then other days, I think maybe I should just get a stay at home job, but then my son wouldn't have the socialization and I would most likely have to bring someone in to take care of him (I nannied for a stay at home) because although I'm at home, I would be working.

    After I read what everyone said, I did sit down and write out a gratitude list. And I really am lucky to be able to offer my son all that I can because I'm staying home. And I wrote down the things that bothered me: lack of adult socilization/feeling cooped up and the stress of finding clients. Because I am still relatively new, I don't yet have the luxury of letting people go willy nilly. If I did, this new part timer would be out. So if I can find ways to fix these two things....

    I tried talking to my husband about fixing our situation - cutting our cable, not going out so much, not getting take out so much, just cutting back on the little things that seem to add up so much so that when we are in a situation like this, we don't have to stress about losing money, because we'll have a little nest egg. But as I spoke he didn't say much. He works a lot and VERY hard and he deserves to have those luxuries, and it's me that makes it impossible for him not to have them - is how I feel. My husband is VERY VERY VERY supportive, but he's facing a lot of stresses at work and he's constantly worried something with happen with the daycare, and after his immense support during psycho mom, I feel terrible going to him for more.

    I also spoke to my mom and she bought me (because she's awesome) some B complex vitamins. I'm on a pretty hardcore diet right now (which is probably adding to everything) and she said it's very possible that I am missing some of the vital minerals and nutrients. If that doesn't work, I will go to my doctor.

    I know that there are steps I need to take to make this better for everyone, but I can't do it alone. I will need to go to my husband at some point but it seems like we're both in a standstill waiting for his effing promotion. I guess I'll give it a few more weeks, work my ass off at replacing this part timer with an older full timer and then if the situation still isn't any better, I will think about alternative measures.

    Thanks again ladies for all your help! I couldn't do any of this without you

  2. #12
    Outgoing
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    Jun 2012
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    Hey if it helps here is what I do to help with me feeling stuck and anti-social. My husband works long hours and weekends so YEAH I get that.

    I asked my husband to come one early ONCE every 2 weeks so I can bail out on making diner and either go out or take a long bath ..pretend I"m queen for an hour with diner beeing served and all.

    I get together with a friend one week night ...I don't have money to spend so what do we do ? We go for a walk, roller baldding or she just have me over with my favorite drink .... DIETE pepsi LOL.

    Sometimes I really need a break so I send my kids for a sleepover at grand'ma, It's good for them to be out and do different things. I get together with a friend and we cook and bake so I have food for the daycare or supper time and we have a few glasses or bottles of wine LOL. The next day I clean the entire house before picking them up.

    I became a mystery shopper. It does not pay you muhc but it gets you outta the house.

    Just some tips that worked for me

  3. #13
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    Mar 2012
    Location
    Ontario
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    Good for you Littledragon! I'm so glad to hear you are doing something about how you feel. You and your hubby should have a date night I think you both deserve it.

  4. #14
    Euphoric !
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    Mar 2011
    Location
    Ottawa
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    I think the others have already done a great job of giving you support and advice. I don't have anything wise or miraculous to add, but just wanted to send some support. Is there any way you can get the kids out where you might have other adults to socialize with? I find it helps a lot to go to the park or library or playgroups etc and have other adults (especially other daycare providers) to chat with. Good luck with it and know that you are not alone!

  5. #15
    Expansive... dodge__driver11's Avatar
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    Nov 2011
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    You kw what Dragon?

    Now that my son is home w/ me other than mwf for 2 hours while in preschool my husband and I take Sundays as our day a lady from our church watch's him, and he has a great time, and from 8-5 on Sunday's there is no one here but us 2....Its so good....and he LOVES IT


    But I have to say spousal support is crucial in this, without my husband I am sure I would have been in the nut barn by now (without this forum too)

    Best wishes dear!! U can do it!!

  6. #16
    Euphoric !
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    Feb 2011
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    Ontario
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    I can feel the stress coming out of your first post Littledragon. I can tell you that on my worst daycare days they are still better than my best day working outside the home for some body else. When I start to feel overwhelmed in the daycare biz I definitely vent and lean on my co-workers and peers in the biz because when I tell my troubles to friends and family they just don't get it. So venting here is important and we will be here for you. All the other good advice has already been given by the others.

  7. #17
    apples and bananas
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Littledragon View Post
    .

    I also spoke to my mom and she bought me (because she's awesome) some B complex vitamins. I'm on a pretty hardcore diet right now (which is probably adding to everything) and she said it's very possible that I am missing some of the vital minerals and nutrients. If that doesn't work, I will go to my doctor.
    I have been taking a B complex lately too... it's made a world of difference, but took about a week to feel anything positive. I'm sure that will help huge! Great to hear you're feeling better.

  8. #18
    I am really sorry to hear about the struggles you are facing. I, too, have tossed around the idea of closing my doors because of bad experiences and rude parents, Lord knows I've had my share of those in the past few years. I hired a helper so I could maintain some sanity and I also started taking more vacation time. Relax, vent, go to the spa and just remember why you are doing this and how much it benefits your family.

  9. #19
    Euphoric ! kidlove's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
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    hang in there! maybe its the weather...I feel a little crappy lately too! andwhen you don't feel good about things it's really hard to see the "wonder" in this job. My hubby is at the end of his work season and feels the preasure, paychecks are smaller and he works away from home, takes more than half of his pay just to get back to work the next week......realy stressful on him, and when he is stressed, we're all stressed. Add that to the weather and the fact that I have 4 gone (3 to kindergarten and one for mom's mat) and I am down in income by $1,600.00. Not even sure how I am paying the bills. (they are getting pd well, but NO EXTRA $) aaaahhhh! really stressful....plus I am at a point in this business where I am VERY leary of anyone I don't know, for the past handful of years i have had ALL people I know or who know someone I care for. I am in unfamiliar waters right now and don't like it. I am stressed to the max with the lack of income BUT.....one thing I do know is...this is where I belong. I know it because when those little people come through my door every day and tell me they love me, I know there is more for me to do. AND it keeps me going for sure, waking up with my kids every day and getting them off to school and being there when the bus drops them off, I know this is the right thing to do. Evaluate what you are doing this for......if you can't find a good enough reason? maybe you shouldn't be doing it.....but if you do find a good enough reason.......trudge on!!!! it's not easy, but pick up your bottom lip and know that you are not alone!!!!!

  10. #20
    Expansive...
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Whitby, ON
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeholm View Post
    Some days I think my hubby is the most amazing man in the world, and sometimes I don't like him at all.... After all these years, that doesn't worry me anymore.
    It's SO true!! And the second you start thinking but "John" down the street does the laundry, bathes the kids etc for HIS wife.....one day you'll hang out with "John" and see a, b & c things that he does or doesn't do that you would NOT want.....it's that old saying the grass is always greener.....but sometimes that means it's because it's fed with bullsh!t!

    Hang in there......how about changing up your routine so it's something new & different?
    Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Kids Back!!

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