When it rains it pours!!!!!!!!

[kidlove]

okay, must be me! i have parents from hell today.....I have a Mom who is due for c-section tomorrow, I had offered her daughter to stay the night a few weeks ago, when they had said they weren't sure what to do about her because they have to be at the hospital by 5 am. (that's just what I do) I am willing to offer myself as a kind gesture but on the same note find it irritating to have a parents try and use me. This is how they are "using" IMO. I did offer the overnight, 1. because they seemed in a bind, and my heart said, offer yourself! I figured it would be good for both considering the alternative would be for them to ask if they could drop off early! this way, if she stayed, I could have her sleep in (getting her rest) and get my kids ready for school and then wake her up in time to go to the bus. Win Win for Both, They declined my offer, and today ask if they can drop her off at 6am in the morning tomorrow, (thats 1.5 hours before I open) I asked if they could arrange for someone to drop off a little later, (they have mothers in law, mothers and an uncle come to town for the birth) they say....well we thought sense you offered a "flexible" sched a few weeks ago, dropping off early would be using your offer. I responded by saying, yes I did offer, but because her staying the night, seemed to work out for both of us, her coming early doesnt work out so well for me, due to my kids having to rush in the am for preparing for school and the bus, figured she could stay in bed while they were getting ready for school then just wake her up before we all leave for the bus. maybe I'm just having a "b**ching" kind of week, everyone seems to be getting on my nerves. STOP OFFERING YOURSELF KIDLOVE!!! are you stupid? this is how people get the idea they can use you...............

[mimi]

"give an inch........" It is always a hard lesson to learn when you are so kind hearted to make a generous offer and then have it tossed back in your face with disrespect. You made the offer for a sleepover because it worked for you and your family. The early drop off doesn't. You mentioned family is in town for the birth so they can do her regular drop off. It is not up to you to solve their dilemas because when you try this is what happens. Been there!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh ya that is a tough one ~ very kind of you to offer the overnight stay because has big as my heart can be I so value being able to sleep through the night and do not trust preschoolers to do to the same

If they have to be at the hospital at 5am whose dropping her off at 6am and why so early than?

I agree I would be miffed if I offered to be generous to someone and they than tried to 'negotiate' that generosity into something else ~ although to give them the benefit of the doubt they might be thinking they were being 'easier' on you to not take her for the night not realizing that it actually makes it 'harder' to have her arrive awake at that time verses just spending the night?

[kidlove]

Apparently the Mother (grandmother) is dropping her off at 6am, so she can be to the hospital by the time she is ready to go in for c-section. But there is a lot of family that lives here as well as friends that are always picking up for them.

[horsegirl]

Parents seem to forget that we have families and commitments to our families. This was a wonderful offer that you proposed and the parents should be very grateful. I open at 7AM and have had parents want their child to come early. Depending on the age the child either lies on a mat till I think it is time to get up or stays in a playpen until I am ready to start my day. This way I can deal with my family's needs. I agree with mimi "give an inch..." .

[cdngirl]

Wow sorry you have to deal with such a thoughtless person.
I did an overnight for a family who welcomed their 2nd child over the summer also since they have no family close by to help them watch dcg. I offered with some hesitation at first but in the end I was ok with it because I knew they wouldn't take advantage. And it was still hard to do even though they were respectful of me.

You're going above and beyond what you would normally do so be sure to do it on your terms, not theirs. You offered overnight and they turned it down - don't understand why unless it's that they didn't want to pay for it? With so much family in town they should be able to make it work somehow

[kidlove]

Well, I stuck to my guns (thanks to every ones "back-up") and it panned out well. not to mention....glad I did! Cuz.....Mom showed up late for pick-up yesterday, this is what this family does to me all the time....I offer myself but they tend to take advantage. I had earlier in the day informed her that I would not be able to take the child due to the fact that I have to prepare my own kids for school and bus and offered the "stay over" because it was best for both. Her coming early would be too hard for me.....they found someone to drop her off later in the am, no problem! AND I (for the first time in 3 years with this family) charged a late pick-up fee. Felt like a creep at first (but once I let go of "how they might feel about me") felt really good to put my foot down. Here's to hoping they think before they try to "use" me again! thanks all!!!

[Lou]

That's awesome Kidlove! I know it's hard on your heart to put your foot down sometimes, but you DID and you absolutely did the right thing! Way to take charge! (((hugs)))

[sunnydays]

Yay for a backbone Kidlove!!! It is unfortunate, but I have also found that if you give an inch they will take a mile. I had two siblings in my care previously who used to arrive at around 9am...then one day the parents asked if they could drop them at 8am for one week because the mom was working across town (she's a supply teacher)...I made the mistake of saying no problem as I had other kids arriving at 8 anyway...after that they were always at my door at 8:00 on the dot...sometimes 7:59 And I know they did not need to be there that early...it just became convenient. Plus they were the last to leave in the evening...again, not a NEED, just convenience...never again will I accommodate such things. Now I tell parents to choose 9 hours within my operating hours (which are 9.5 hours in total) and they have to stick to that...if they want to change within my hours, fine, but no more than 9 hours! Way to go for putting your foot down

[mimi]

kidlove, can you hear the sound of applause? I'm giving you a standing ovation right now!