Seems like we all have the same complaints... hahaha.
Actually, I cannot complain. My husband works really hard, in 2 different careers (day and night most of the time). He still finds the time to coach both my boys' hockey teams and spend quality time with all 4 of our kiddos. He has never been the daddy that doesn't change diapers (I would NOT let that happen, lol).
Having said that, he had NO idea how trying running the daycare can be until he had to "fill in" for me a few times. I really felt like he had a new appreciation for the work involved.
And unfortunately, I think sometimes we expect our spouses to just KNOW what we want from them. So we stay quiet, waiting for them to just do it. And then we lose our mind one day and go bat$#% crazy.
If you can get them to do what you do for a day; I wonder if it would change things? If not, I would suggest having one of those long, serious talks. Failing that.... yell, scream, and then have a big glass of wine.