Stress with hubby since opening

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh hon ~ men are from MARS!


I empathize ... when my spouse and I were first together and I worked outside the home (in a childcare centre doing exactly what I do now BTW just outside the house) my spouse was AWESOME with helping out without being asked ~ he did all the laundry, washed dishes, cleaned bathrooms and so forth and he got home from work first so he prepped and started dinner we had this natural team work thing going on with each just 'stepping up'.

As soon as I started working from home it STOPPED and all off a sudden I was supposed to be this June Cleaver who was suppose to be meeting him at the door with his slippers and a pipe or something while dinner was waiting for him on the table ... he would get snotty and bitchy if there was a crumb on the floor in the kitchen or if the kids didn't flush the toilet or if he tripped over a toy that was missed at tidy up time .... I was going to KILL him

I admit that I myself thought being home would be 'easier' and in many ways it IS because I can toss a load of laundry in on my 'lunch break' or I can get dinner started and I get to do way more baking of things from scratch during nap time and so forth but there is a difference between being able to make life a little easier for BOTH of us and all of a sudden everything domestic being MY JOB and feeling like I am working TWO full time jobs ... I finally had to sit down and have a heart to heart with him about feeling like I was DROWNING in work all the time if it was not the 'daycare business work' it was the 'shared housework' of the house even going on a 'holiday' was no longer fun for me because it meant I had to rush around prior or after catching up on groceries, cleaning and so forth before clients came back to the house ... and he eventually stepped up but it is a constant 'reminder' thing now of me having to say 'hey need more help over here' which frustrates the bloody hell out of me because for the first 3 years of our partnership I never had to ASK and do not feel I should have to now!

It is that double standard that when we work OUT of the house it is easier for them to remember and visualize that we do indeed WORK so they need to help out around the house but when we work FROM the house suddenly they start forgetting that we are still WORKING cause all they see is we are 'at home' and in their little pea brains we should be able to be getting these things done between eating bon bons and finger painting with the kids!

I know the one thing that really helped open my mans eyes was I made him cover for me while I went to a DR appointment .... seriously the kids were sleeping for most of it all he had to do was get them up, do washroom routine / diapers, feed them snack which I had PREPPED and ready to go, wash up sunscreen them and go outside with them .... I was gone less than TWO HOURS over an hour of which was NAP TIME still and I came home and every bloody toy was strewn on the floor, the kitchen blew up all the snack dishes were still on the table the wash clothes tossed on top and foyer carpet was all twisted and he is outside sitting in a chair looking like he'd ran a marathon. He took one look at me and said 'I do not know how you make it look so EASY' ... um ya no shit Sherlock I work HARD to make it look so easy to you