Newbie - Lots of Questions and Need Advise!

[Momof4]

Ladyj stated: It sucks to be the bitch but I'm pretty sure she didn't mean that. (Sorry to put words in your mouth Ladyj but just wanted to clarify for the new ones). I'm pretty sure she meant that we can be perceived that way by parents but that it NOT what you are doing and you have to make sure the parents understand that fact by remaining professional at all times. You are being a businesswoman and those parents all signed your contracts and agreed to abide by all of those rules. That is a legally binding contract.

So when we enforce our rules and terminate or whatever we have to do to keep our businesses running smoothly we are not bitches, we are BUSINESSWOMEN! I sense a lot of anger in your original post and want you to know that you have every right to be angry about all of those issues and we are glad to help. But when writing or talking to the parents always, always be a business owner, don't let your anger or your heart or anything else sway you from enforcing your contract.

[ladyjbug]

Hey Momof4, good catch.

I actually wrote that post based on something that the OP said in a later post:

Here is the quote:
I have sent out newsletters to all the families reminding them of the rules, to no avail. I have talked with them individually, to no avail. I don't know what else to do. I really don't want to pull out the B**** and be the iron fisted daycare lady, but I can't be nice about this anymore.

What I meant to say was and probably didn't in the best possible way, that it is okay to stand up for yourself. It does sometimes suck and is never easy, but gets easier the more you do it. You are NOT a B*** for enforcing your contract. These people sat down and agreed to your contract and now they are picking and choosing which parts work for them. For some reason, whenever we have to stand up for ourselves it always comes back in our head if we are being "B***-y or not". Maybe because our profession is often viewed as "lower" than others, or that some in society feel that we are just babysitters and that we should always just be nice about things because we are nice and take care of children all day. Whenever I psych myself up to stand up for myself, I tell myself that it is okay to be the "B****". This is something that works for me, just in my head to get in a mindset to defend my policies. I am a professional through and through, but I am also a very hopelessly nice person that gets walked on easily. So when I tell myself that, I am able to have a frank conversation with whoever is taking advantage of me and then I can go back to being the nice, wonderful person that I want to be. The great thing about home businesses like this is that you want to reward the great families. I regularly have "Parent Night Outs" and can cater to occasional favours for my daycare families. But I also have wonderful families that are so grateful and fantastic and appreciative and it took me a long while to get to that point where there is mutual respect between us. I had to get rid of a few bad apples during the first few years.

I meant nothing about acting in anger, or that you shouldn't act as anything but a professional. But if confrontations are hard for you (they are for me!), then tell yourself whatever you need to do to psyche yourself up to get through them. You are not a B**** or a bad person for doing so! I hope that clarifies somewhat! We are here for you!