I had my daycare provider go away for a month right at before I went on mat leave and it was very stressful! We don't have family near...I had just started a new job and could not go on mat leave early...it was very very stressful for me to find an alternate caregiver and go through the adjustment of a new daycare for my 2 year old...so I probably reacted a bit harshly at first too...but similar to you, she was going to her home country to see her mom before she died and i totally understood an supported her decision. Sometimes we just have to get over the panic as parents before we can think straight Glad it worked out okay!