I think by "in-family" you mean that she's a member of your family? Maybe because of that she's giving you cheaper rates than what you'd normally find elsewhere? If that is the case, then you need to do the math to find out if the cheaper rate that you're getting from her would still be cheap if you went with someone else who wasn't taking advantage of you and taking all that time off. And yes, she most definitely is taking advantage of you. Canadian AND US stats? Honestly. Who does that???

Check around and find out what other people charge for daycare. Once you figure out the math, you may find that her taking all this time off and you paying for it is not actually cheaper than going with someone else who's more expensive and who's not a member of your family.

The standards you should expect are 1 - 2 weeks vacation. Some providers would have you pay this. Others don't. When I close for vacation, my clients don't pay. Most providers will have you pay for Canadian stats only. Definitely not US stats as well. Some providers will have you pay for sick days. Others won't. I'm one of those who say if I close for any reason (other than stats) then my clients don't pay. So that includes sick days, vacation, etc.

Anyway, I hope you find someone else really soon. All the best!