I am more bothered than I thought I was!!

[daycaremum]

[QUOTE=treeholm;28222]

I feel for you because it is difficult when you've had a child for so long and they switch providers for any reason. We do become fond of the kids, BUT, I would NEVER refer to myself as their daycare mommy! /QUOTE]

Quoting "daycaremum" above...

Don't see how calling yourself daycaremum is any different...

Well that's just a stupid comment, sorry to be so blunt. That's my screen name. I provide daycare and I am a mother to 2 of my own children, thus, daycare-mum. I don't go around saying or thinking of myself as the mother to any of my daycare children. Like I said, I really like them, but love, no. I am a Registered Early Childhood Educator and we are not taught to "love" the children. We are taught to care for them, nurture them, help them achieve milestones, facilitate their play to encourage growth, teach them social skills. Maybe that is the difference here. I am a professional and I do regard this as my job and would not do it if it didn't offer a a paycheque. I have bills to pay, just like my doctor wouldn't heal people if not paid, just like your dentist wouldn't check your teeth if not paid. I'm not a saint, I'm a child care provider.

[daycaremum]

I agree that it is sometimes difficult to see long term clients go, but really, what did you want them to do. They regard us as their childcare provider, not a family member, not a friend. She gave you the notice you required. Be happy when nice family's do give you extra notice or a nice parting gift. But don't be so angry when people simply follow the guidelines that you have set out for them. I assume you have a contract, as this is a business, whether you like it or not.

[treeholm]

[QUOTE]Well that's just a stupid comment, sorry to be so blunt./QUOTE]

No, I did not think your comment was stupid at all, no offense intended. Just ironic, that's all.

[Nottellin']

Like I said, I really like them, but love, no. I am a Registered Early Childhood Educator and we are not taught to "love" the children. We are taught to care for them, nurture them, help them achieve milestones, facilitate their play to encourage growth, teach them social skills. Maybe that is the difference here. I am a professional and I do regard this as my job and would not do it if it didn't offer a a paycheque. I have bills to pay, just like my doctor wouldn't heal people if not paid, just like your dentist wouldn't check your teeth if not paid. I'm not a saint, I'm a child care provider.

I agree with you. The paycheck is NOT an added bonus. Most providers, provide care BECAUSE it is a way to have a paycheck and stay home with their own kids.

I think you put it perfectly!

[sunnydays]

I think you can be a professional and still have feelings that can be hurt at times. In any work it happens. It doesn't mean we are not professionals if we get attached to the kids we care for. It just means we are human and have feelings and emotions. Kidlove didn't say she was acting out on her feelings...she just needed a bit of support as she loses a child she half raised for the last 3 years and now may never see again. It is part of our job yes...but that doesn't mean we don't sometimes feel hurt, anger, sadness, etc.

[kidlove]

Daycaremum :Thanks for your honesty, but I do feel differently about my position, as I too feel that I am a professional (doing this job and doing it well for 10 years has made me a professional).. I respect your point of view, but I DO believe that some people are lucky enough to do what they truly love in life, sure some doctors are doctors because they have an interest in science and enjoy the large paycheck, but I also believe there are many doctors out there who have been truly blessed with their abilities and honest to God LOVE healing people and doing what they do. I feel very fortunate to do exactly what I LOVE and get paid for it, doesn't make sense to me that people will pay me to love their children, and that is just what I do, I grow to love these kids, it's part of my job and the blessing of the job all at the same time.
I am not angry with this mother at all, I stated that I was bothered by it, and surprised to feel that way, at that. I have had MANY kids and families go, some on good terms some on bad terms, I do appreciate the fact that she gave the required 2 weeks notice, and understand it is part of the JOB and that it is a "job" and a business, but it has also become my life over the past ten years and although I am done after I close every day, I still am left with a mark by each and every child that comes through my door, and feel that people in this job are much more than "teachers". Teaching is a "part" of our job, but it is much more than that to me, it is helping to raise a child, to build a solid character and to help form a life. some last a year, but if you are a good provider the child is with you (to the child ) a lifetime. You are much more to that child than just one of their teachers in life. I can remember 1 teacher my entire school career that I would even come close to comparing to the way I feel about the job we providers provide, and the one thing I remember about that teacher was that he had a true passion for teaching and valued us kids much more than any other teacher I ever had. That's what I want to be to each kid that comes through my door, I want them to have a lasting impression of the love and care I provided for each of them. This is a privilege with a paycheck attached.

[kidlove]

Thank you Sunnydays. That is exactly how I feel. My heart is totally in this job and I am proud to admit it. Don't know how I could do this if it wasn't. For years ALL my parents have made comments regarding that same thing, including this Mother, for 3.5 years she told me I was such a big part of their lives and their daughters life and they were so happy to have such a kind and loving person for her to spend her days with. guess that's why I felt a little hurt. that's all. I'll be just fine though, really, not tore up just needed to vent and be understood, thanks so much for having an understanding heart. They are few and far between in this crazy world.

[daycaremum]

I'm glad you are so passionate about your work.

[ladyjbug]

I am going to have to agree with Notellin' and daycaremum here.

Kidlove, I get that it is hard to lose a kid you've been with for 3.5 years and maybe you would like to vent about it. I get attached too, probably more so than I should. I have been burned a few times by doing this.

I don't understand why you would write that the paycheck is just a perk. As a professional, the paycheque is NOT a bonus. When you say something like that, it brings the whole profession down a notch, and relegates us to the realm of "just the babysitter". A lot of society already has it in their heads that we don't deserve the money we are paid to be at home working hard, sometimes very long hours to take care of THEIR children. Please do not do further harm by promoting the idea that providers agree that we should not be paid what we're worth; that we would happily do it for free. A lot of us really need and depend on that money. Although I really like my daycare kids, and am hugely invested in our days and their care, I would never do it for free.

I am hoping that is not what you meant to say and just venting talk! I know the message can get skewed when you are feeling upset.

[kidlove]

I wasn't feeling upset and haven't really been upset at all, just bothered by something that has never really bothered me before in the 10 years I have done this. Just stated really how surprised I was that I felt so bothered by such a "normal" part of this job. Kids come and kids go, that is the nature of the beast in Day Care....I guess in the way this child left was what was such a surprise to me.
As far as my comment of the paycheck being a added bonus/perk? My point is that this job is literally a "dream" (to me), yes I do need the money, and in all honesty, would not do this job if there was no money exchanged, I AM worth more than doing it for free, thats for sure. My comment was more in the direction of, quite often I realize I am collecting paychecks to do exactly what I really love doing, loving little ones. It is really a blessing to do what you love and get paid for it, it just seems to good to be true. Some providers although good at what they do, probably do not understand what I mean, because although they like what they do and enjoy staying home with their kids and being able to make money at the same time, also do not do it in the same passion I feel I do. I'm sure to some it is a stepping stone to do whats best for their children and family right now, but can't wait to get back into the "work force" with other adults and get out of the house....not me! I want to do this until I am done working, retire from it. I don't think that makes me less of a professional I think it makes me "true" and "honest" and lucky....I feel lucky to do what I love and get paid.
As I said, I wouldn't do this job if I didn't get paid for it? but I would adopt children, children that need love, and I WOULD do that for free.
I am honestly not here just to stay home or to just make money while raising my own children (those are the perks) I am doing this because I honestly couldn't imagine doing anything else in the world. It's what I was meant to do.