AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH......need to vent

[BlueRose]

hello lady's I need to vent a little hear. Not sure if I am just over reacting or not.
sorry this might be long.

I had my first daycare kid start last week

The girl is coming to my through an agency.
I had the interview on Tuesday with the mom and a friend of the mom's (mom speaks very little English), dad was at work. The interview went well told the mom that my hours are 7:30-5:30. gave her my contract (which has my hours on it)
She tells me and my adviser (who was at the interview) they would like to start tomorrow (Wednesday) if subsidy is approved.

That night the dad called asking if I could say open longer, he works until 5:30 and is about 20 min away. I said NO. Then my husband got mad, we need the money so I told the dad I could only stay open until 6:00pm.

they did not show up or call on Wednesday, spoke with my adviser she just heard for subsidy and they will be starting on Thursday.

Thursday morning they do not show up or call. spoke with adviser she said I was getting paid for the day, but they will be starting on Friday. Not a problem I don't mind getting paid for not working.

Friday morning comes. The family shows up. The girl is upset when her parents go to leave. understandable. with in 5 minutes my oldest son has her laughing.
I was told she was potty trained. turns out she has her parents trained. She refused to tell me when she had to go. I was asking her if she had to go she would say no. at times I just told her she was going, and it was world war 3 to get her on the potty. She ended up peeing on my wood floor.
I told the parents at pick up that on Monday she will need pull-ups. They said it will be fine.

Monday morning, they show up WITHOUT pull-ups. Dad said that she doesn't want to wear them and that mom talked to her about telling me when she has to go. I said fine, but if she does not tell me today that she needs to go then she will have to be in pull-ups. Very hour and a half I put her on the potty. I refused to let her sit on my sofa (she did not like this, no bad). Not once did she tell me she had to go. Her mom told me she would be here at 3pm to pick her up today. Dad showed up at 5:58pm. I was not in a good mood when dad showed up. The mom never called to say she was no longer coming.
I told the dad that she had to be in pull ups tomorrow. That once I have other kids I can not be asking her ever hour if she has to pee. He was not happy but said ok.

Today dad shows up. girl has a pull u on. I am happy. Dad says that there is one more in the bag. (as if she is only going to pee once today). dad could not leave fast enough, I get a bad feeling. I check, yep she is wearing a pull-up, but no pull up in her bag. The dad had lied. I almost went through the roof. I called my adviser and left a message telling her about the pull ups and that when the dad comes to pick up tonight. I will be telling him that tomorrow I need a bag of pull-ups or NO CARE. The problem is I can not lose this family until I can replace them. My adviser is looking for a replacement for me, and I am looking for private clients, but the phone just isn't ringing.
I have a feeling the parents will leave before I can replace the kid.

I have an 18month old girl starting as soon as she get subsidy approved, hopefully by next Monday. I have a before and after school boy who was sub post to start yesterday, but had a family emergency and will start today after school. I just need one more full time kid and one to replace this girl and I will be happy.

Thanks for reading. I feel better, just being able to vent.

[kidlove]

Not sure if you want the advice or not, but if I were you I would leave the girl in the one pullup if thats all that parents provided, given it can hold all the pee she is withholding from the potty for whatever reason. I would even consider purchasing a small pack and putting them on her (one a day of course, not to waste) and NOT inform the parents. maybe she needs time to get used to your home? or maybe she's just a stink? either way, if you need the money don't let the lack of pullups get in the way. Sometimes parents don't need ALL the info. just make sure she is bakc in her undies by the end of the day, and when they ask "how the day went"....no details......just "fine", how was yours? and get paid.

[BlueRose]

Kidlove- I wouldn't have posted if i didn't want some advice. Advice is always good, weather or not I want to hear it at the time.

the girl is also refusing to sit quietly at quiet time. My rule is you don't have to sleep, just sit quietly with a book or quiet toy. She will not sit on her mat and refuses to be quiet.
My oldest is 3years old and does not nap, but my 9 month old needs to nap and is not due to all the noise she is making.

[apples and bananas]

I think sometimes we get so strapped for cash that we keep allowing this ridiculousness because we're afraid the client may leave.

I'll be honest... I would have sent them home day 2 since they didn't bring any pull ups. My house, my rules. Go home and get them or no care. You can not have pee all over your floor.

This does sound like a good fit for you. I hope you replace quickly and don't feel so stuck with this one.

[kidlove]

oh, breaking the rule of "quiet time" is a no go for me too! Don't blame you there. The pull-ups can be an easier fix, but no quiet? thats another story.

[Crayola kiddies]

Hi .... You do not say how old this child is but I would put her in a pack and play in a bedroom by herself for nap time and tell her she is to stay there quietly till you come back. If she climbs out use your mean face andput her back in and say no climbing out .... Keep repeating till she figures it out. For the pull ups if the parents don't bring a whole pack I would tell them if she pees in her pull up then she stays in it till she goes home. If she doesn't come in a pull up then send them back home with the child to get pull ups. Just because a child is trained at home does not mean they are trained at daycare especially in a new situation.

[BlueRose]

she turns 3 in mid november.
I did mention to the dad, that just because she is trained at home doesn't mean she is ready to be trained at daycare. He said he new this. I think he doesn't like not being in control. He will fine out tonight that I am the boss not him.
He will have a hard time finding another daycare who will stay open until 6pm in this area. I have checked I can't find any.

[BlueRose]

Update: Quiet time to day is better. Both my boys are sleeping in their rooms. The dcg is sitting on her mat, every once and a while she will wimper a little to let me know she is still up. I gave her a few dolls to play with, I closed the blinds and turned off the lights. She did start to through a fit at first, but I used my mommy voice to tell her "You don't have to sleep, just sit quietly, play with the dolls or look at a book. She keeps closing her eyes and when she starts to fall over she sits back up and says she is not tired.

I am enjoying the piece and quiet.

My adviser is going to call the father about the pull ups. Can't wait to hear what he has to say to her about that.
She still is not telling me that she has to go to the bathroom. I am making sure that she goes. I don't want her sitting in a wet pull up because of her parents. I don't think its fare for her.

over all the day is getting better.

[sunnydays]

I wouldn't leave her in a wet pull-up all day either! It isn't her fault her parents are acting stupidly! And I wouldn't be buying pull-ups out of my own pocket. I think you have done the right thing by demanding the parents supply a package. And as for quiet time...it will get better with time if you stay strong. Sounds like she may need a nap still if she is fighting sleep...have you thought of asking her to lie quietly for the first hour and see if she falls asleep?

[playfelt]

You mentioned that mom speaks very little English. Assume they speak to the child very rarely at home in English. While she may understand the words from when they try to speak it she is used to another language. That will take time for her to adjust to. You might try to find out how much English they use at home and if not then what the words are for bathroom issues she uses at home and allow her to use them at daycare. As long as you know what they are you can react to them just the same.

Glad to hear that the agency is working on your side as far as the pullups goes. One of the reasons I left an agency many years ago was because they went out of their way to please the parents at my expense when I felt I was paying them a daily portion of my pay to be on my side or at least to not take sides and just resolve issues.