keep in mind, although you can always teach a child what is "right and wrong" and create a well behaved child, you also can't take away who they are. She may just be a child who needs more direction and correction (easy fix) but she may also be a child who is very independant and determined (not as easy fix). def don't let her break rules and disrespect toys or others, but dont just tell her NO and always stop her, give her play dough to manipulate rather than her lunch, and give her a easle or paper to color rather than your walls. She is learning when she does this stuff, encourage her to continue to learn while discouraging her to do it in the "wrong" manner. I think she sounds like a handful, but a handful of fun at the same time. Does she have a happy demeanor? I can just imagine how sweet she can be.