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Thread: The destructor

  1. #1
    Euphoric ! Dreamalittledream's Avatar
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    The destructor

    You must all have one in the crowd. Mine is a tiny almost 2 year old with big blue eyes and cute as can be pig tails...aka. 'Descructor'! At meal time she is the one with food smeared everywhere, tears the pages in my books, peels labels of any toy that has one, my one who colors every surface reachable in a matter of seconds if a crayon gets in her grasp, the one who is my only one who goes from one toy to another constantly (except if it has a button that makes noise..then repeatedly presses it until I loose my mind) and never puts them away. She is also my one who poops everyday in her playpen at naptime...I'm just waiting/dreading on artwork!!
    Children are great imitators.
    So give them something great to imitate.

    ~Anonymous~

  2. #2
    Euphoric ! kidlove's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHAHA! This post makes me laugh so hard, these are the favorites, such "spunk" and personality you wish they weren't with you half the time but couldn't imagine not having them around. Too Funny. Just love her to death and SEND HER HOME AT THE END OF THE DAY!

  3. #3
    Euphoric !
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    No, smearing poop is not spunk, it's bad behaviour. Smearing food everywhere can be stopped too if you keep telling her it's not a good thing to do. As far as the toys, get rid of the most annoying ones and save your sanity for heaven's sake! When she leaves one toy, make her go back and put it away before moving on to the next one. She's 2 years old and able to understand all of these things. I wouldn't allow that kind of behaviour.

    I have a really annoying child in my care who is almost 2 and he repeats the same word over and over until I tell him to stop it, doesn't act like he understands what I'm saying and gives me the deer in the headlight look, but I keep repeating what I'm saying until he does it. It takes a ton of patience but if we don't keep on top of these things and stop the bad behaviour it's going to get worse and worse It isn't cute! It's going to drive you crazy! Never cave, keep on the problem children until you turn them into normal, wonderful little people, whether they like it or not! Just my two cents!

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  5. #4
    Euphoric ! kidlove's Avatar
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    Who smeared Poop, that's gross. I thought you said you were waiting for the smeared poop, all joking aside, you can def begin redirecting her from 1 to near 2 years, can't do much else until she can understand the full reprocussion of her choices. She is def a handful (i call that spunk) will always stand up for herself and thats good character, and will def learn the hard way and that is determination. She is a keeper, just needs alot of redirection and understanding. And some "no,no's"
    good luck, your hands are full

  6. #5
    Euphoric ! kidlove's Avatar
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    keep in mind, although you can always teach a child what is "right and wrong" and create a well behaved child, you also can't take away who they are. She may just be a child who needs more direction and correction (easy fix) but she may also be a child who is very independant and determined (not as easy fix). def don't let her break rules and disrespect toys or others, but dont just tell her NO and always stop her, give her play dough to manipulate rather than her lunch, and give her a easle or paper to color rather than your walls. She is learning when she does this stuff, encourage her to continue to learn while discouraging her to do it in the "wrong" manner. I think she sounds like a handful, but a handful of fun at the same time. Does she have a happy demeanor? I can just imagine how sweet she can be.

  7. #6
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    None of that behavior would fly here. I don't allow direct access to shelved toys. They are by invite only. I train the children from the time they can walk that the shelving is off limits. I keep toys on the floor that are free range toys.

    I don't allow ANY battery operated toys or any noise toys. I don't have any toys that DO anything. All the toys we have require the kids to input all the power.

    I don't give access to books that can be torn up to children who don't understand to not tear pages. For the under two crowd I have a big bin of beautiful cloth books.

    The mealtime beahvior is unacceptable too. I would only offer a few bits on her plate at a time. If she started tossing or smashing she would let me know she was done with the meal and we would try again next time.

    I would not allow her access to colors either. I would work out an area of the home for her where she could have primarily infant toys to play with and then gradually work her way into the older toddler toys when she showed me she could manage the infant toys without harm.

    I also don't think any of the behavior is cute or "just a kid" behavior. Common behavior? Yes ... but much common behavior is bad behavior. I would stay right on this child and micro correct the behaviors you have described until she got that it's a "no".
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  8. #7
    Starting to feel at home... Toregone's Avatar
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    I have one of these. She frustrates me to no end. Nothing is safe from her, not even other children. She's good right now but she goes through "stages" lasting a week or 2 of hitting other children. She's the same way at home, it's not daycare behaviour and her parents are just as frustrated. I feel you pain! haha.

    I'm slowly learning ways to adapt and help her modify her behaviour. Food is served in small portions on a tray in a highchair, no booster for her. If she throws her plate once it is gone for the rest of the meal. Food smeared or thrown signals the end of the meal she is washed and left in her highchair until everyone else has finished (that's the rule here anyway, no one is allowed up until everyone is finished). 2 instances of hitting and she is put in a playpen for 10 minutes or so with some toys and her sippy cup, right next to us not isolated, just unable to hit until she reigns in her temper. The playpen rule is also in effect for book tearing, toy throwing, bin dumping... all the things a destructor is famous for haha. Her parents do the same at home and it's really working.

    Hope it gets better!

  9. #8
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    I've cared for a couple of children with this type of personality. It is exhausting, but they must be shown the consequences for their actions. They will learn what is acceptable and behave accordingly. When a child deliberately breaks or destroys a toy it is given to the parents and they are responsible for replacing it with the same or something similar worth the same amount. You would be surprised how quickly the parents start to work on respectful behaviour at home and soon the child is on the right track.

    One girl I cared for did do artwork with her poop in her playpen during nap time. I would check on her and 5-10 mins later check again and she had pooped and wiped it all over the mesh sides of the playpen. When her father picked her up at the end of the day the playpen was outside the front door. I told him what happened and he laughed and joked that he thought she was going to be an artist and that he felt sorry for me for having to clean it up. He stopped laughing when I told him it was their playpen and he had to take it home.

    I have also had a couple of children that repeat what I say and it is very annoying. They don't seem to understand when I tell them that they need to stop. One of the children was diagnosed with high functioning autism (and adhd) and the other had a serious learning disability. As the children grew older in my care I would mention to the parents that their children were not developing mentally and emotionally as the others in their age group were. I always tell them that this is my observation and that I am not a specialist in this field and that they need to get professional help.
    Most of the time parents don't notice that their child is developing differently than others. With early diagnosis they can learn important tools to help their child make their way through life.

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