Parents popping by

[Dreamtree]

Playfelt, Thank you! I basically feel the exact same way. If a parent wants to just show up, they have to then take their child with them, I am going to approach it that way as well.

My transition days are very similar to yours

[sunnydays]

I agree with playfelt; I also have it in my contract that parents are invited to drop by at any time to check on their child, but they must take the child home with them. I actually would never place my child in a daycare where the provider said I could not come and check. For me, as long as the parents take the child home, I encourage them to come and check for their own peace of mind. I think more parents SHOULD do this and should not feel badly about being concerned. After all, we are complete strangers who they are trusting with their precious babies and abuse and neglect can and does happen.

[waterloo day mom]

I have parents give me a list of who (other than them) is allowed to pick up the children. The parents also usually tell me ahead of time or call to say that someone else is picking up. I have also had parents tell me if they need to come by to drop off a sweater, extra training pants, etc. I make sure that the child is distracted and far away from the door so that they don't see mommy or daddy coming in and we avoid the meltdown.

[zen39]

My policy is similar to the others. I too keep my door locked, so they must ring the doorbell. I have said they could come by anytime (except during nap), but then their child must leave with them then. Parents are very understanding, once it's explained to them that it's too confusing having parents come and go without their children during the day. With that said, I've never had parents come by early unexpected. They always tell me if they'll be coming earlier or if grandma or grandpa will be picking up the child.

I do however understand the "security check" idea by these parents. It's very hard on parents to leave their child with someone they don't know. So if they have no problem with the fact that if they "pop" by, then they also have to leave with their child, I would say great. I think more parents should be this way. I'm still surprised with my new families when they don't call the first couple of days just to check on their little one.

[mom-in-alberta]

Parents are funny sometimes, no? Some of them will call 100 times before the first day, and then again on the hour, to check in. Then there are the ones who practically throw the diaper bag in the front door and hand you the baby while backing out of your driveway, lol!!
As we have talked about in a few other posts, my open-door policy refers to two things. a) I am willing to communicate about any issue you feel relevant at a time that works for both of us and b) you are welcome to pop in unannounced at any point in the day, TO PICK UP YOUR CHILD
For security reasons, you may not hang around the other kids while we go about our day. And for the general well-being of our entire day, you may not pop in (after your child has settled into our usual routine), say hello and leave. I have not yet met a child who doesn't want to go home when they see mommy and daddy. I don't take it personally, in fact I encourage it and pick-up time is an enthusiastic and silly fun time!!!
I think most parents can understand this, when it is explained to them properly. Especially if you put the shoe on the other foot (ie. I am sure you would not be comfortable with other parents spending extended amounts of time when your children are here, right?)

[playfelt]

Another tactic I have used with parents wanting to just drop in is reminding them that our day flows from event to event and anything that disrupts that schedule does just that. It means something for the day must be dropped as in not done so that we can stay on the schedule of meals, naps, diaper changes etc. What gets dropped is the very thing that many parents are looking for in care is the stuff beyond the basics. If they come during storytime the kids have gone off to play or followed me to the door and the interest is gone. If they come during craft time, many kids won't return to the craft and I will have lost interest because I had to quickly scoop up all the supplies to the counter before answering the door. When they are reminded that if I let them come by continuously unannounced I have to extend that privilege to the other 4 parents in care. Just imagine what our week would be like if I have a couple parents popping in and out every day. A home daycare is not like a daycare centre where you can be met at the door by the director and allowed to peek into your child's classroom to catch a glimpse of your child. In home daycare there is no staying in the shadows. You are here disrupting our day and while I understand in the first week you many need to do that a couple times. After that it is the parent's responsibility to keep their insecurities in check.

On the parents not calling on the first day etc. That is actually a good thing. It isn't that they don't care or that they totally trust you so it doesn't matter but they have steeled themselves for the realities of daycare. Being on the provider side of things we forget sometimes that these parents have had almost 2 years - the year of pregnancy and the year of maternity leave to get ready to put their child in daycare. It isn't a snap decision. Once they have chosen a placement they need to trust themselves that they did a good job and not have doubts. Our job is to do our job so they don't have any doubts.

[Sunflower]

No,no way. I can understand how stressful it can be as a parent, I have been there.
BUT this is my place, my rules and personally, if a parent was this stressed out and had this little trust in me,I would not renew the contract.

Parents here are allowed to drop in whenever the want (except between 1 and 3) but they must leave with the child after.

[rebeccamferguson]

I had a true open door policy. Parents were welcome to come by at any time and walk in unannounced. It never interferred with our day. They were welcome to come and join in with whatever we were doing. I never left them alone with someone else's children but they could join in with our activities if they wanted.

At some point you have to allow parents to do what is best for their child and I explained it to them as such. It is the daycare provider's job to take care of the kids and transition them as such. If a mom kept coming by to visit (without taking the child home) and the child cried each time she left, most responsible parents will stop popping in for a visit as they will recognize that it isn't working for their child.

If it would have become a problem, I would have worked on a solution with the parent so that the child isn't upset.

What if the child is fine with mom visiting at lunch and going back to work? Why not let the parent visit?

In my three years of home daycare, popping in was never a problem. The kids rarely cried at drop off and didn't think anything of the parent leaving again later in the day. Locked doors and no drop ins always make me wonder what the provider might not want to be 'caught' doing...... I've tried to give my daycare parents the benefit of the doubt and they have always risen to that expectation. They really do want what is best for their child.....

[Skysue]

I just get parents that do early pick up without letting me know! That's fine with me! Also I have a few parents that stand at the door and listen and this I find kind of rude but understand that there only listening for there Childs well being!

[Emilys4Guppies]

For me, locking my doors is for MY safety and my children's safety. It has nothing to do with hiding things. I am a 125lb woman alone with 8 children in a home that is a known home daycare...I'm not taking a risk on having someone break in. Personally, I was more comfortable knowing my HDCP locked her doors when my older children were in daycare because I knew they were safe.

I also believe it is a safety issue to have parents join in the dc activities if they don't have a valid police check. Parents require it of me and any assistants I might have, and so it is something I require of anyone who will be doing more than drop off/pick up.