New DCb/Day 3 screeching/no eating/drinking

[Dreamalittledream]

So, this is the first full-day, following 2 half days last week (his mom also came for short play dates with him a few days the previous week). Child just screeches as soon as I go to put him down, poor guy. So, I've adjusted his naptime to before my others (so, I have my 2 one year olds do am nap, wake them and then put the others down) so it's a little less loud and over stimulating for him. He does nap, but only after crying for about 10min. That's fine, that and the screeching will improve (oh my poor ears). What concerns me is that no matter how I try (different ways) this child will not eat or drink for me). I've kept the parents updated via email, so they are very aware and are of the attitude "we completely trust you; he will simply have to adjust". The no eating (self or spoon feed) or drinking (bottle/cup or the sippy they sent) thing worries me though. As I'm typing this I have sat him with his back to me (he's still touching me, leaning against me & I am rubbing his back saying "you're ok") and toys in front of him...he has screeched the entire 10 minutes. Trying to wean him off of me carrying him every single second...I just cannot! Sheesh, missing my usual naptime break right about now

[sunnydays]

Oh I feel your pain! I am going through a new baby who is crying too, but at least he will eat and drink! And I saw progress today...I was actually able to put him down without him crying for a few minutes today...so I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you will see it soon too! Yours sounds even worse than mine!

[playfelt]

Don't worry about the eating and drinking it will come when the child is ready. As long as the child is eating at home fine and you are making the parents aware of his intake while with you they can compensate for a couple weeks. This is actually a very common thing when new kids start. Everything is different from the bowl, spoon, bib, highchair, you, even some of the foods will be different. Best thing is to make no issue about it. If parent says they finger feed at home then just put a dish with a fewe pieces on it and walk away. Make as little eye contact as you can and do not encourage him to eat as that will have the opposite effect - just leave him to it. Our job is to serve the food. It is the child's job to eat it and that starts from very young not just for the picky toddlers.

For the putting down let him sit in a high chair, exersaucer, some other place where he is up and surrounded ie the high chair sides sort of hug him. He will get used to the play around him. Start by giving a toy the first couple of days then leave the toys on the floor where he can see them and he just sits. Part way through playtime take him out - again little conversation, eye contact and do not pick him up as if to hug just lift up to move him to the floor. Get down on the floor nearby and everytime he climbs on you make him sit in front of you screams and tears and all. He will grasp that this is the only option at your house and come around. Repeat chair to floor if necessary each day till he gets it.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree wholeheartedly with Playfelt ... totally normal and almosts ALL infants starting daycare go off their food and drink a bit ... so do not sweat the eating or drinking cause it will only make it 'worse' as he senses your anxiety about it and if you 'jump through hoops' trying to get him to do it even when wee they figure out the power that gives them and IMO that's were 'picky eaters' are born ... offer fluids frequently and food at regular intervals if he chooses 'not to' just let it go with minimal attention or fuss ~ when he is ready and comfortable in the environs he will start drinking/eating for you and my guess is he will just 'make up for it' in evenings with mom and dad in the meantime!

[Dreamalittledream]

Thanks ladies; PHEW!!! If only these little monkeys knew what they do to us

[Momof4]

Ah Dream, new baby hell is hard on the ears. Good luck and I hope he fits in quickly. My baby who started in Sept. at only 2 days/week screamed all day every day he was here but this month he is doing much better at 3 days/week. Next month he will be full time and I'm sure he will be fine.

I asked the Mom to please not pick him up immediately when he cried and help him learn to self-soothe and that it was ok for her to tell him to play and not be picked up nonstop. I said it in a much nicer way of course, but I could tell the problem without question so had to ask her to help out. I told her that all day screaming is difficult for me and also for the other 4 children and she would be helping everybody by helping her son adjust to life without her there 24/7.

[Dreamalittledream]

In talking to Dad about it, Mom (baby is a Momma's boy, he's been home with her all year & still cries when she leaves the room at home)...anyhow turns out Mom is out of town (has been since Friday) and he feels that baby is out of sorts over that too as this is her first time leaving him. Poor little guy; tough week. That and he's teething (prob why he's not so crazy about eating either). By about 2pm it's like a switch went off in a millisecond...he went from screeching to smiling, laughing, playing (still stayed within reach & cried if I went o get up off the floor)...then by 3pm he was crawling all over the playroom exploring as the rest of the group sat with me for storytime. Yay!! I've asked them if they could possibly leave him 2 more consecutive days this week to keep the positive transition momentum going. Thanks again everyone.

[mom-in-alberta]

Aw, poor muffin..... and the baby, too!
I also agree with playfelt. I think you are doing all the right things. Just gotta grin and bear it a few more days?
Good luck!!!

[sunnydays]

Glad to hear your screamer is getting better! Mine...not so much I thought he was progressing yesterday but he cried all day again today (even at the park)...except for at mealtimes! I just keep telling myself it will pass...nice to know I'm not alone though!