Trouble with a Mom

[kidlove]

Just had to text a Mom about 3 hours ago regarding, reminder of having to pick my daughter up from basketball practice at 5pm, these parents pick up by 5:30. The baby is 6.5 months old. I text her to let her know I have a carseat and would need to take her with me to get my daughter,be back to the house by 5:20 at the latest. 5 miles up the road. She texts me back and says, her daughter is over the limit for infant car seat and didn't want her in innapropriate seat. ( I think it may be more of a control thing rather than the seat itself, she seems to be bothered when something is not up to her or in her control) anyway, I check my infant seat and sure enough it's for 26 inches or up to 22 pounds. the baby is 6 months old, about 24 inches long and can't weigh near 20 pounds yet. The Mom texts me back and says, she is fine THIS time but will have to think about anything in the future. Is it wrong of me to want to respond to her by saying she needs to pick her child up before 5 from now on and not even let her "think" it's up to her? I have had so many great parents through the years, but every once in a while I get one of these, "I control you" kind of people who seem to think I have no right to have any time for my family when I am taking care of their "precious" child. If I'm wrong, set me straight.....what would you do?

[Errbear]

Show her the seat and what it says. Also remind her that you are a professional and wouldn't risk life, limb or liability by putting anyone in a seat not designed for their size. Some mothers think only they can do something right...Those are the types of moms that (usually) need to stay home and do everything right themselves. Don't let her knock you around. If she's not happy with the seat then she can either provide you with one that she is, or pick up her child before you need to leave

[Play and Learn]

First off, is this parent ok with you driving her child around? Did you discuss this with the family when they signed on with you?

If not, and she's not comfortable with you driving her daughter around, I would tell her that she needs to pick up her child by 5 p.m. so you can do things with YOUR FAMILY!

[kidlove]

All of the above ladies...at pick-up the Mother says, "first off, sorry I didn't give you an answer right away, but I had a splitting headache and about 6 people waiting for me" wanted to say, oh no, problem...I just had your daughter and my daughter was waiting for me! Then she goes on to say: "My Husband and I were talking on the way here and we both agree that when we decided to bring her here, it was to be safe and cared for in your home, not going out and about." to that I did say: "I completely respect your point of view, some parents don't mind their child being out with me and others don't feel comfortable, but you do need to respect that I stay home to be a good Mother to my two kids, and because they are older, they are involved in such things as sports and I feel I need to be there for them. Not to mention I have personal things I sometimes need to do before the end of the days" I ultimately told her that IF she wasn;t comfortable having me transport her daughter, she would need to pick up before I left. she then said, PRACTICES would be fine, but if I could call her during bad weather, she would come early. Still irritated, why is it so hard for people to understand WE TOO, have lives. It just seems like she still isn't getting that I have to do things sometimes, like when they first came to me they understood it to be to have their daughter cared for IN MY HOME ONLY!? so I have to be some SUPER WOMAN who never gets sick, needs to go to the dr., I have been given a hrd time when my back is out and have to go to the chiro, what am I supposed to do? I couldn't imagine if I had to cater to ALL my parents like they expect me to for them? It would be near impossible. Should I just tell them I will close at 5 on those days?

[apples and bananas]

Was this an emergency pick up? I'm not sure why you had to text her and tell her rather then get the authorization this morning... or last night at pick up. She may have felt obligated to let you take her daughter and uncomfortable about it all at the same time.

I dont' transport kids in my care with me anywhere! I had once issue where I had to get something done, it was urgent and important and the only time I could do it was during hours open. So I let the client know 3 days in advance that this was going on. It gave her time to talk it over with her husband and they ended up being ok with it. They installed the car seat in my vehicle and I let them know when we were home safe and sound.

You may have blind sided her... that's how I read it at least... maybe I'm misunderstanding.

[Play and Learn]

Was this an emergency pick up? I'm not sure why you had to text her and tell her rather then get the authorization this morning... or last night at pick up. She may have felt obligated to let you take her daughter and uncomfortable about it all at the same time.

I dont' transport kids in my care with me anywhere! I had once issue where I had to get something done, it was urgent and important and the only time I could do it was during hours open. So I let the client know 3 days in advance that this was going on. It gave her time to talk it over with her husband and they ended up being ok with it. They installed the car seat in my vehicle and I let them know when we were home safe and sound.

You may have blind sided her... that's how I read it at least... maybe I'm misunderstanding.

Yup, that's how I'm reading it too.

I tell parents when I'm interviewing that I don't bring the kids in the car with me. That's another insurance thing that I just won't do, and don't feel safe doing. Parents have chosen me because I don't bring the kids out and about in a vehicle. It's just a personal thing.

I would re-write the contract for this parent (and any new family that comes on). STATE to them during the interview that you do have to sometimes transport their child around in your vehicle. I know of some providers that provide the car seats, and other providers ask for a car seat from the family.

I would definitely have pulled my child from your care if I knew that you were going to transport my child without consulting with me first - especially if you knew about needing to pick-up your child in advance. Sorry, but that's my own thoughts on it.

[Crayola kiddies]

I do have a transportation authorization form in my package that gets signed when they sign the contract, that being said I also let my parents know that I would probably never take their child out in my car and never without let them know first. I don't have room in my vehicle for 6 car seats. I live in the country and we don't travel.

[Starshine]

I'm confused. Did you already have agreement from the parents about taking their baby in your vehicle?

[kidlove]

I completely agree, on the Blindsiding! I can see that once I put myself in her place..... I had it posted this week on the front door, reminding parents of basketball starting and the need to pre-arange transportation or early pick-up. I notice though, alot of parents don't read my notices, that's why I try to remember to talk with them as well....just busy some mornings and these parents in particular, are not chatty to say the least....he is friendly but I am lucky if I get a "have a good day" out of her.

[Spixie33]

I may be totally crazy - probably am....but I don't think it is unreasonable that a parent expects us to stay home with the daycare children until the daycare closes.

I consider that I am WORKING during the daycare hours and just like I could not do personal things during an office job - I can't do them during my daycare. I have to treat it professionally unless it is something I have special permission for or it is an emergency.

If the parent has never discussed the arrangement with you or been made aware that there could be days for dropoffs etc then it may have been the first they are hearing of it.

I have my kids in activities 3-4 days a week but I make sure everything is after daycare hours. I would NEVER take a daycare child to drop off for ballet or swimming or want them there. THat is my time to focus on my kids. I wouldn't want it and I doubt parents would want it. That is why I made my daycare have an early close at 5 and I pick activity times very carefully.

I have never heard of a provider taking daycare kids with them in my area.

YOu asked about personal days where you have appts....for days like dentist appts, doctors etc - I book those usually weeks in advance and notify parents that I am closing for the day or a half day. Again...those are personal things and there is no way I would want to drag a daycare child plus my own kids around for those.

Now if something happened at school - like I had a all home that one of my kids was hurt or sick then I might have to drive with a daycare child but I have authorization ahead of time and it gets discussed during the interview process but I would not like to. I would probably have my husband come from work and go to the school rather than me do it with daycare kids....especially since I don't have a van.

I think that providers just have to think of what they think they would/could do in every situation, what the options are and then discuss this with parents in the interview or face to face at drop off at pick up time if it is a new thing.

I hope everything went well with the mom though and everything is good between you