Trouble with a Mom

[kidlove]

Just had to text a Mom about 3 hours ago regarding, reminder of having to pick my daughter up from basketball practice at 5pm, these parents pick up by 5:30. The baby is 6.5 months old. I text her to let her know I have a carseat and would need to take her with me to get my daughter,be back to the house by 5:20 at the latest. 5 miles up the road. She texts me back and says, her daughter is over the limit for infant car seat and didn't want her in innapropriate seat. ( I think it may be more of a control thing rather than the seat itself, she seems to be bothered when something is not up to her or in her control) anyway, I check my infant seat and sure enough it's for 26 inches or up to 22 pounds. the baby is 6 months old, about 24 inches long and can't weigh near 20 pounds yet. The Mom texts me back and says, she is fine THIS time but will have to think about anything in the future. Is it wrong of me to want to respond to her by saying she needs to pick her child up before 5 from now on and not even let her "think" it's up to her? I have had so many great parents through the years, but every once in a while I get one of these, "I control you" kind of people who seem to think I have no right to have any time for my family when I am taking care of their "precious" child. If I'm wrong, set me straight.....what would you do?

[Errbear]

Show her the seat and what it says. Also remind her that you are a professional and wouldn't risk life, limb or liability by putting anyone in a seat not designed for their size. Some mothers think only they can do something right...Those are the types of moms that (usually) need to stay home and do everything right themselves. Don't let her knock you around. If she's not happy with the seat then she can either provide you with one that she is, or pick up her child before you need to leave

[Play and Learn]

First off, is this parent ok with you driving her child around? Did you discuss this with the family when they signed on with you?

If not, and she's not comfortable with you driving her daughter around, I would tell her that she needs to pick up her child by 5 p.m. so you can do things with YOUR FAMILY!

[kidlove]

All of the above ladies...at pick-up the Mother says, "first off, sorry I didn't give you an answer right away, but I had a splitting headache and about 6 people waiting for me" wanted to say, oh no, problem...I just had your daughter and my daughter was waiting for me! Then she goes on to say: "My Husband and I were talking on the way here and we both agree that when we decided to bring her here, it was to be safe and cared for in your home, not going out and about." to that I did say: "I completely respect your point of view, some parents don't mind their child being out with me and others don't feel comfortable, but you do need to respect that I stay home to be a good Mother to my two kids, and because they are older, they are involved in such things as sports and I feel I need to be there for them. Not to mention I have personal things I sometimes need to do before the end of the days" I ultimately told her that IF she wasn;t comfortable having me transport her daughter, she would need to pick up before I left. she then said, PRACTICES would be fine, but if I could call her during bad weather, she would come early. Still irritated, why is it so hard for people to understand WE TOO, have lives. It just seems like she still isn't getting that I have to do things sometimes, like when they first came to me they understood it to be to have their daughter cared for IN MY HOME ONLY!? so I have to be some SUPER WOMAN who never gets sick, needs to go to the dr., I have been given a hrd time when my back is out and have to go to the chiro, what am I supposed to do? I couldn't imagine if I had to cater to ALL my parents like they expect me to for them? It would be near impossible. Should I just tell them I will close at 5 on those days?

[apples and bananas]

Was this an emergency pick up? I'm not sure why you had to text her and tell her rather then get the authorization this morning... or last night at pick up. She may have felt obligated to let you take her daughter and uncomfortable about it all at the same time.

I dont' transport kids in my care with me anywhere! I had once issue where I had to get something done, it was urgent and important and the only time I could do it was during hours open. So I let the client know 3 days in advance that this was going on. It gave her time to talk it over with her husband and they ended up being ok with it. They installed the car seat in my vehicle and I let them know when we were home safe and sound.

You may have blind sided her... that's how I read it at least... maybe I'm misunderstanding.

[Play and Learn]

Was this an emergency pick up? I'm not sure why you had to text her and tell her rather then get the authorization this morning... or last night at pick up. She may have felt obligated to let you take her daughter and uncomfortable about it all at the same time.

I dont' transport kids in my care with me anywhere! I had once issue where I had to get something done, it was urgent and important and the only time I could do it was during hours open. So I let the client know 3 days in advance that this was going on. It gave her time to talk it over with her husband and they ended up being ok with it. They installed the car seat in my vehicle and I let them know when we were home safe and sound.

You may have blind sided her... that's how I read it at least... maybe I'm misunderstanding.

Yup, that's how I'm reading it too.

I tell parents when I'm interviewing that I don't bring the kids in the car with me. That's another insurance thing that I just won't do, and don't feel safe doing. Parents have chosen me because I don't bring the kids out and about in a vehicle. It's just a personal thing.

I would re-write the contract for this parent (and any new family that comes on). STATE to them during the interview that you do have to sometimes transport their child around in your vehicle. I know of some providers that provide the car seats, and other providers ask for a car seat from the family.

I would definitely have pulled my child from your care if I knew that you were going to transport my child without consulting with me first - especially if you knew about needing to pick-up your child in advance. Sorry, but that's my own thoughts on it.

[Crayola kiddies]

I do have a transportation authorization form in my package that gets signed when they sign the contract, that being said I also let my parents know that I would probably never take their child out in my car and never without let them know first. I don't have room in my vehicle for 6 car seats. I live in the country and we don't travel.

[Starshine]

I'm confused. Did you already have agreement from the parents about taking their baby in your vehicle?

[kidlove]

Yes I do transport kids, not on a regular basis, but I have a VERY close nit group of clients (except these ones) everyone has been with me for years, I call to remind of my kids sched or ask them in the am and they all respond with a "of course, you know we don't care".....they trust me and like I said they have all been with me a long time, (since before my kids were at the age of afterschool activities) It has NEVER been an issue until now. These "new" parents, new to me and also new in the sense their daughter is a baby and first child, are more gaurded. Of course, and I completely understand, however...they have to understand I sometimes need to do things with in day care hours, doctor appt, dental appt, kids dr and dental, chiro appt, and last but def not least....my kids are older, in sports and such. I try to find other people some of the time to help out, but also feel, I stayed home to be a better Mom.....can't do that when you are tied to the house with other peoples kids all day until 5:30. I have transported this baby before, and a few times actually gone out of my way to drop the baby off to her mothers work (at the Mothers request) because my back was out and had to go to chiro at 5pm. the mother chose to stay at work and asked me to drop the baby to her on the other side of town. (thats where it gets me confused, when they say they didn't want me transporting her and wanted me to stay home all day, assuming for safety sake) but asked me to drive her to the other side of town rather than pick her up early? I do see that I need to add to my contracts an agreement to transport (i dont have one now) never needed one to this point. Honestly? I dont want to transport everyones kids to my daughters basketball, and feel I would short my own kids not to be there. If you dont transport kids...what do you do when you need to go somewhere during the day or have a child of your own who needs you on a regular basis through the school year?

[kidlove]

I completely agree, on the Blindsiding! I can see that once I put myself in her place..... I had it posted this week on the front door, reminding parents of basketball starting and the need to pre-arange transportation or early pick-up. I notice though, alot of parents don't read my notices, that's why I try to remember to talk with them as well....just busy some mornings and these parents in particular, are not chatty to say the least....he is friendly but I am lucky if I get a "have a good day" out of her.