What would you do!!!

[Sandbox Sally]

First of all so many many to you. What a horrible situation.

And NO they're not getting their deposit back! lol No matter what the reason, they pulled their son from care, which is a breach of contract and is the exact reason why people collect said deposits in the first place.

I also feel that no lawyer will take this case on, especially since they've made no police or CAS complaint to substantiate any allegations. Good effin luck to them. Yeesh.

Also, I want to add that I have a very hairtrigger 7 year old in my care. I have, more than once, had to physically pick him up and drag him somewhere else in order to stop him from harming himself, or another daycare child. Guess what?? I totally stretched out his shirt as I was dragging his ass across my yard after he hit me in the face. Unfortunately, violent children sometimes have to be physically removed from situations.

Thankfully, I had the complete support of his mother and father. I think the difference here between this and your situation is that MY dck's parents know how difficult it is to reign this little guy in when he was going full tilt. By the sound of things, your precious special little daycare boy doesn't get any consequences at home, therefore, his parents have ZERO idea what it's like to have to remove him physically from a situation. Hmmm, all of this is just my wordy way of saying, yes, we have to do what we have to do sometimes, and it sucks really really badly that we are sometimes made to feel liable for what we physically HAVE TO do for safety's sake.

[busydaycarelady]

First of all hugs to you. And remember you have done nothing wrong. Thankfully you have emails to mom regarding sons bad behavior so that shows his history Of poor behavior and moms responses of nothing more than 'I'll talk to him later'. Also good that his school teacher has similar complaints. I once looked after a child like this whom had to physically remove from play areas to prevent her from injuring herself or others. She would purposefully hurt herself and tell her parents I did it.......anyhow, they as well thought they should seek legal counsel, never did, but I know it's not pleasant or easy waiting on them.

I agree that you don't need a lawyer at this point. If it makes you feel better, go ahead and speak with one. Keep your documentation on hand invade you need it. Other daycare parents dont need to know what's going on right now, you can tell them it wasn't working out with little boy and he's no longer attendng day care with you. As hard as it is, try to remain calm and remember you have done nothing wrong at all. I would not contact these parents at the moment either. Let them be until they contact you. Also I would not be returning their deposit as they took heir son out of care. I wish you all the best and I hope they give up this ridiculousness and begin taking an active role in their sons discipline.

[DORITOSGIRL]

Hey
Just wanted to give a update.

I have NOT heard from either mom or dad regarding this matter. The child has NOT been in school either.
While I still hate not knowing what they are doing, the longer it takes the more I think nothing is happening.
I have been paid for the time he was here this week and I will keep the deposit.

With him gone I am actually starting to love what I do.. I never realized he was truly sucking the life out of me until he was gone.

I told the other parent it was not working out. She was perfectly fine with that.

Now if only I could replace him. Daycare life would be great.

[mimi]

Ahhhh, sweet relief. It's amazing how you do not realize how much stress you are under until the stressor in gone. You won't be hearing from them. Enjoy your days and good luck finding a replacement.

[daycarewhisperer]

Hey
Just wanted to give a update.

I have NOT heard from either mom or dad regarding this matter. The child has NOT been in school either.
While I still hate not knowing what they are doing, the longer it takes the more I think nothing is happening.

He's back at Grannys house and she doesn't transport to school. Having free granny is better than paid day care and free school.

[mimi]

Ha Ha DCW you should be a detective!! I think you have hit the nail on the head

[BrightEyes]

I am glad they have left you alone! I doubt they will actually pursue the legal action. Enjoy the peace!

[daycarewhisperer]

Ha Ha DCW you should be a detective!! I think you have hit the nail on the head

I've been doing this for a long long long time. I've seen the free gran plan cycle many times. With granny they can come and go as they please, bring the kid in jammies, leave the kid overnight, take them when they are sick, etc. and not pay a dime. When granny gets to feeling used she lowers the boom. When they get a very small taste of real world day care they can come up with the words to granny that it takes to get back to the free granny. If they can sprinkle it with "see you can't trust anyone BUT you granny" then granny feels special and the parents get the free back. It's just words for the parents and a week or two of paid child care. You have to KNOW that you have a high chance of being accused of harming the child because the parents need that to get granny hooked back in. Also, the preschooler who comes from granny is very often explosive and has spent the majority of his day eating bad food, watching non stop tv, sleeping when and if he wants, and getting the adults to do WHATEVER it takes to get him to not cry. Granny is doing free so she can do all junk and all tv all the time.

The kid is a mess so the provider has a terrible time getting him to go native. That time from granny's to real world day care often leads to violent outbursts and it is within the violent outbursts that the adult caregiver is on the fry. Just MOVING a kid from point a to point b to separate is risky. If the kid can fully talk they will practice what they are going to say to their parents on the way to and from separating them. If they say "you are pulling my arm" then they will tell the parents you pulled their arm.

The whole thing is risky risky risky. It's best to interview that out. If the kid is coming from years of granny care then let the parents know up front that you don't allow ANY physical acting out and ask if the child CAN behave and not act out physically. Tell them you know that most people believe it is normal and often adults tolerate it but you don't. Most parents of a kid who acts out violently will run for the hills when you tell them you will boot the kid out if he gets froggy... the first time.

[kidlove]

First off...take a deep breath. These things can and will happen to most of us through the period of this wonderful job, if they haven't already. Not sure what grounds there could be for a pulled shirt, and if they go so far to seek legal council I'm sure a first question will be regarding the childs temper/fits (as far as any scratching goes).....not sure how far anything this trivial could even go IF the parents aren't "bluffing". Do you have record of days and times these "fits" took place? Might be a good idea to search your records and have each account of fit, act of aggression, and time out available to go back to, just in the case it may be needed. And for future reference you may want to remember to ALWAYS document each episode from a child that may have resulted in an aggressive situation by that child. Spoiled kids are the best....sarcasm!!!! The parents will take the 4 year olds word over any other. Although it could be quite possible the parents are fully aware of the childs dif personality therefor they automatically jump to conclusions thinking that you went over the deep end after providing care for their "nasty" little boy. Oh I have had MANY of these ones come through my door, most often you can straighten them out (at least during the time they are with you) but there are always those few little ones that have the "spoil" outweigh the "right and wrong" you attempt to instill in them. This one sounds like a loss for sure. Cut your losses and attempt to move on! I know its not easy to try and forget about something like this, you fear the worst and in this job the worst can seem awful....but you did nothing wrong....ANYONE would have a hard time dealing with a child like that. Just make sure you have all your records set just in case you get a notice from licensing or an unexpected visit regarding the matter, that way you have all your ducks in a row. Future reference...once I had a little girl who threw nasty fits and I recorded her during a few of them, not sure why but something in me said, "cover your butt". Never had to use the records, but had them just in case. And always remember to address ANY marks a child might aquire during care at pick-up. It is quite possible that this boy has never had a fit like the ones at your house before considering he is so spoiled at home, therefor the parents may not be aware he has the capability to scratch at himself or pull his clothes in discontent. I have seen many kids get so mad in time out they do all kids of things, including bang their head on the wall and throw themselves down on the floor. High energy kids are known for this. Good luck with everything, stay relaxed and don't make a huge deal...legal council should only be looked for IF things go farther....which I doubt they will.

[kidlove]

just read the latest posts..... so glad you haven't heard from them and I am sure you won't now. Just the fact that they have removed the child from school as well says a little more to the fact that they will "protect" their wonderful little ball of peace and joy they call their angel of a son... from ANY kind of "mean" person. Oh they may say it has to do with Granny not being able to transport, but I'll bet it has alot to do with the fact that along with you, the teacher had also spoke of having a hard time controlling their little bundle of sweetness. What would a day care provider or teacher know about the proper behavior of a child anyway? ha! maybe Granny can homeschool the little sweetie too?
Enjoy your new found peace, and carefully interview for a replacement.