New DCG started and all she does is cry

[playfelt]

Glad the kids are beginning to settle in. What this goes to show is while our inclination is to comfort the distraught child we are actually doing what we tell parents not to do. When they drop off and child cries we tell them to just go and that will show the child that this is just the way it is now and there is nothing to cry about - they don't have to like the situation they just have to accept it. When we carry them around and try to soothe them in a way we are also telling them that they are not capable of doing it themselves and more importantly that there really is a reason to be so distraught and upset. When the expectations are upgraded to you are fine, you will be fine then in many cases the child becomes fine - not within the hour or week usually but eventually. Children need to be given back ownership of their own happiness as it is intrinsic. I think too we try to comfort and make it all better so that the parents don't get so upset as we are doing it for them and not always for the child. We have to keep telling ourselves that we are not being mean by ignoring the crying we are being enabling - giving the child ownership of their happiness. The great thing is once they do take ownership and settle they are so content with themselves. But it is so hard on frazzled nerves of caregivers, and daycare children to get to that point though. Glad to hear the noise level at your homes is coming down to something more manageable.