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New DCG started and all she does is cry
Havent dealt with this for a long long time but new dcg 13 months started with e and she cries constantly. she doesnt nap long but is very clearly tired which just adds fuel to the fire. Monday was brutal, tuesday was better but today is worse than monday. Its already takinga toll on the other kids. I'm seeing aggresive behaviour. I'm assuming its because i'm distracted with dcg and tying to soothe her. She doesnt have any problem with me, actually she's quite comfortable sitting with me. I really like the family and want to make it work but I really havent dealt with anything like this in years and feeling very overwhelmed. DCG was with someone else (family friend) for a month before starting here. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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I wish I could help, but I am in the same boat! I am one and a half weeks in with a new dcb and he cries all day every day still. I am not sure how much more of this I can take...the other kids are thrown off, I am stressed and exhausted...it's almost impossible to do art, circle time, anything really. Just like you, if I am holding him he is sometimes okay (although not always)...but otherwise he cries ALL day. Today I am at the point of telling the parents that they might be best to start looking into other care options...I will give it one more week, but if there is no progress, I cannot do more...it is just too stressful! I am even dreading the prospect of one more week, but feel it is fair to try. This has never happened to me before either...some crying here and there is normal, but non-stop crying all day to me, shows that the child was totally unprepared for group care. I really like the parents of my crier too and want it to work...but there is only so much I can do! Good luck with yours!
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There has got to be some way to better educate families about what to do for their kids to prepare them for daycare - starting with stop doing it all for them to begin with. I have a now 13 month old that is only now pulling to a stand but won't crawl to you at all. Even when parents come to the door the child just gets up on his knees and rocks back and forth and cries reaching out for someone to come and get him. We are encouraging him on this one and parents of course have to let him do it at my house cause I am in the way of them going to get him and just keep coaxing him to come to the door. He no longer takes a bottle or cup for me and just screams when he sees it but is back to waking in the night twice for a bottle each time. I figure fine at least he is staying hydrated. Both babies still nap 2 hours morning cause they are up half the night.
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this dcg is crying with no tears. its crazy, its like she's making herself do it and every oncein awhile she stops and plays and then its like she suddenly remembers she's supposed to be crying and starts again. I have always used the CIO method for sleeping but she is soooooo loud and non stup its driving me nuts. Just reading these boards and looks like we are not alone. I dont understand why a child would cry all day when they are kids around playing and I'm trying non stop to encourage her to join, singing songs, playing music and she chooses to cry instead especially when she was so much better yesterday. She played and laughed and smiled. I dont get it. Best of luck to you as well. I hope things calm down on your end.
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Playfelt, have you ever had to let one go during the trial period? This is the first time this is happening to me and I feel soooo bad about considering it, but I don't think I can take much more of the screaming. I also think the other parents are going to start getting concerned as their kids are enduring this too and they see it at pick-up and drop-off.
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You should be glad yours plays sometimes...I haven't seen mine play even once...he is too busy crying and crawling after me and clinging to my leg...I have to put him in an excersaucer quite often just to avoid knocking him over when I move around the room! The only time I have seen him even moderately content is on the swing at the park...but even then after some time the crying starts again. And yes, mine cries with no tears too...just non-stop screaming!
Originally Posted by gramma
this dcg is crying with no tears. its crazy, its like she's making herself do it and every oncein awhile she stops and plays and then its like she suddenly remembers she's supposed to be crying and starts again. I have always used the CIO method for sleeping but she is soooooo loud and non stup its driving me nuts. Just reading these boards and looks like we are not alone. I dont understand why a child would cry all day when they are kids around playing and I'm trying non stop to encourage her to join, singing songs, playing music and she chooses to cry instead especially when she was so much better yesterday. She played and laughed and smiled. I dont get it. Best of luck to you as well. I hope things calm down on your end.
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I don't have a trial period. They just start and that is it. I tend to take a firm stand on the crying and even the one year old I have now if I say Z... cut it out in a very firm voice with a glare he will look at me and stop,lol. When it gets nothing from me - very cold hearted here - no patience for something not of my own making - it does seem to pass. In three weeks both babies now go down for naps with less than 5 minutes of tears - I do not go back at all past the third or fourth day. Both came needing cuddles and bottles and rocked to sleep. Now they go for naps and get their bottles when they get up. They are so tired they come before 7 and are in bed before 8:30 so no need for more food by that point.
It is funny for some kids though that there is just something that either clicks or doesn't and they are fine in some situations and not others. Not sure what sets them off but it can be brutal for sure.
I do a lot of putting them in their beds if they are crying regardless of what time of day it is - baby time outs.
Is the child content at all in the highchair or exersaucer or anywhere at all. I do not carry a child around past day one if even that day. They are welcome to crawl after me even into the bathroom with me but they come under their own power not mine. It sounds really mean but for many kids they just have to realize that life is now different and they have to learn to cope. This is where parents play a role in how they react at home too and if parents are giving in then it will take a lot longer than a couple weeks for the child to realize that no matter how much they scream you are not going to.
If it is any consolation the screamers and intense ones once they do settle can be the best because they are so passionate about everything. Maybe that thought will help a little.....
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to playfelt For This Useful Post:
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I do give instructions to my parents of infants coming into care.... Such as no rocking to sleep, must go to sleep on their own, play on the floor independently, be on a cup and eat independently, I prefer no bottles if possible, and I would like them to be on my napping schedule .
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Euphoric !
Oh ladies I am so in your boat too!!! Oh my head! Trying to wean him not to have to be carried ALL day long. You're so right; it throws off the entire group! But, I see small improvement...now it's about 5 seconds between starting to cry again...yesterday about 2?!?! Baby steps. With mine it seems to be an issue of when all of the other kids are around (I kept him awake a bit longer after the rest went down today and he was crawling around, happily playing...as long as I stayed in one spot, on the floor). Trying the playpen tomorrow...pretty active guy...dunno.
Children are great imitators.
So give them something great to imitate.
~Anonymous~
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My new dcb is actually really really good at going down for nap...it is the only time he doesn't cry ironically! His mom did a good job of getting him ready in that he goes down easily, he feeds himself, drinks from a cup, etc. Plus she got him onto my napping schedule before he started. This afternoon I saw a little glimmer of hope...he actually played a bit with me sitting on the floor near him! The entire last hour of the day he did not cry! And I saw some smiles! Fingers crossed this will continue tomorrow...I had actually typed out an email of warning to his parents, but saved it to drafts, intending to send it tonight. I may hold off and see what tomorrow brings. I am exhausted...time for a glass of wine or a beer
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