For me it was the parents who readily admitted that their child did not self feed ("too messy to clean up"), co-sleeps (which is fine in practice, but how the heck am I supposed to get them to self soothe here?) and the ones who have little to no routine (things are done at the child's whims). Here's my child, I've done little to prepare him/her for you...but 'plop' here they are for 9+ hours! Gee, thanks!