Perception is everything...rumors! !!

[Dreamalittledream]

I could cry! someone is going through the same thing as me! the stories I could tell! it has affected my buisness! I am down to 2 children from 5. I am considering getting out of the business because of this...I know it would be the easy way out and I don't want to do it but these particular women are relentless! they steal kids from eachother....hasn't happened to me yet but they have tried...wish I could offer some advice but even I am at a loss...

So sorry, it just sucks. If you could have all seen the look on my husbands face...broke my heart actually. I'm hoping for some Karma

[playfelt]

Not that it helps right now but the longer you are in business the more families there are out there that can spread a positive word for you either because they have been in your daycare or because their friend was and raved about her caregiver.

It is hard to take the high road though. Sometimes we need to turn negatives around and use them such as mentioning your husband's job as a drama teacher and therefore pretend and make believe and an introduction to drama are part of your program. If it is something your own children enjoy with him then I'm sure it translates over into their imaginations in play.

Also being ready with some responses such as when annoying mom stepped in saying something like just because they have been in business longer doesn't mean their program is better it just means it is older and then turn to the parent and hand them your card. Try not to be intimidated by the woman - I know easier said than done but that is also part of coming off sounding and looking professional being able to take back control of the situation. All of the talk about bullying going around these days is aimed at empowering the victims to not take it and really that is the only word to describe this mom. I am the type that would probably call her on it sometime and use the exact word - does it really help your ego to play the part of the bully of the playground/school yard parents or something to that effect and see what she does. On the other hand a true bully would just escalate the rumours but at least you would know who they are coming from and in time so will others as her negative reputation will become well known.

[Dreamalittledream]

Sadly, I am so one to think of clever responses an hour later...

[sunnydays]

I am so sorry you are going through this! Obviously she is out to cause trouble for whatever reason...one of those permanent highschooler types....I see them around too The thing is, even if your husband were "yelling" or being "bossy" to his own kids...so what???!!! I mean serioulsy...being "bossy"??? Isn't it our job as parents to tell our kids what to do and not do? If that is what she meant by being bossy then I am the queen of bossy...and guess what? I have been known to yell at my own kids on occasssion...does that make me a bad mother? I think not! And my husband also raises his voice, otherwise known as "yelling", occasionally to get our kids to listen...and I would be willing to bet money that this "lululemon" mom does it too! This is the ridiculous unsupportive crap that makes it sooooo hard to be a parent in this modern society...and is why there are so many unparented brats out there! My son comes home from JK every day and tells me about another 4 year old who hits, kicks, punches, and bites him! Maybe if this kids parents were to occasionally "yell" at him or heaven-forbid, be "bossy" and actually tell him what to do, he wouldn't be such a brat! Just let it roll off...she is having exactly the effect she wanted.

[kidlove]

That is exactly who I was picturing in my head while reading this post. WOW! The only thing I can say is....1) don't let her "crap" get to you, perhaps that's all she wants. Maybe for some reason she is attempting to knock you down a peg or two. Don't let her....even in your mind! Keep strong when she talks with you.
2) rather than "taking it" respond to her with a "I don't care for this" comment next time she attempts to throw dirt in your face. Take the high road.
3) stear clear of her, be obvious...if she walks toward you at the school, pick your little one up and run for the hills like she's got the plague....maybe she'll catch on and find someone else to "rumor" too.
The hardest thing is ignoring the ignorance of some, if you figure how to do that......let me know!

[mustbenuts]

Is this woman the complaint police? Why are people complaining to her? That is called gossip and there is no need for it other than to stir up shit, which is exactly what she is attempting to do when she talked to you. If your husband comes home and yells his head off, whose business is it? Maybe he has a reason for yelling. Maybe he just has a loud voice (I know my hubby does). Maybe he is fooling around with his kids being an awesome dad. Don't give this bitch another thought. Women like these show their true self by their actions, other moms will know what she is like as well and likely not believe all of her "complaints" either. Don't let her make you feel bad or worry about your business, it sounds like her yap is bigger than her brains. If she has any more "helpful suggestions" let her know that if someone has a problem with you or your husband, they should talk to you directly since you don't trust simple gossip.

[Dreamalittledream]

Ladies I can't thanks you enough for all of your kinds words and support!!!
Have to share how I chose to handle it and for the record....I feel so much better!!!
I just now went to my son's school, walked right up to the clique (Lulemom included). Here's what I integrated into the conversation:
"I just wanted to say that I really admire you all taking the time out of a busy day to just chill with your kids in the playground every day after school. I don't know how you all do it. I find by the end of the day the kids are tired and hungry, we're tired and rushed to get dinner going, get the kids ready for various activities. With 4 active boys suddenly home the volume seems to max out right at that time. My husband seems to pick right that moment for initiating a loud game of tag or some other game"
(Just then, my son ran by rushing to help a little guy up who has difficulty walking and had fell)
So... I continued..." I'm so proud of my children...I've worked so hard trying to teach them to be kind, understanding and to think of good things to say to people that will make them feel good about themselves. It must be a challenge having daughters (they all have daughters); having to deal with all of the talking behind their back, drama and gossiping. Thank goodness we grow out of that huh?"
~ And I walked away (and smiled all the way home).

[mustbenuts]

BAHAHAHA!!! Love it!!

[treeholm]

Awesome way to handle it, you go girl! And if she mentions anything again, just smile and say that no one who actually knows your family will believe it, and you can't worry about the petty women who make that kind of stuff up.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Awesome and good for you for standing up for yourself with dignity while calling them out on their inappropriate behavior ~ no one should be allowed to slander your good name or those you love by making false assumptions or judgements and have you just bend over and take it!

Now you have closure having dealt with it and you can move on from the experience with your smile in tact that you are better than them for having stayed true to your convictions and values.