Offering a Second Choice?

[Starshine]

No, I don't offer other choices. You eat what I make or you can choose to be hungry. Catering to picky eaters keeps them picky.

That being said, I do ask parents when the children start to give me a list of foods they do like, and I try to incorporate those foods into our meals/snacks.

[mom-in-alberta]

No way! No alternatives here.
I really used to stress out about how Suzie didn't like this, or Joey wouldn't eat that. I still HATE throwing food away, but it happens on occasion.
I also have the policy that I make it, I serve it, they choose whether to eat it, and how much. I offer healthy foods with lots of fruits and veg. I limit the packaged stuff, but we have things from boxes on occasion. I do not make "exotic" foods. That is the parents job to introduce.
I will not force a child to eat, but I am also not going to cater to whims when it comes to food. I do understand that children will not "like" everything. Heck, I don't!! I know that they will not starve, and we will be eating again in a couple of hours. I do take note of foods that are consistently turned down by all, and take them out of the rotation for a couple months. Try them again later, but for now, I don't see the point of wasting food!

[kidlove]

No way, they eat what all the others eat or they go hungry! I am a firm believer on you making the choice for the child not the child making the choice for you! Who's the Boss?? I also, ALWAYS inform the parents of my beliefs, no child should refuse what is offered and should never get to choose what they eat, (puts the ball in the wrong court)...chances are...if they control the dinner table at home, they are controling in other areas as well....and that is not a healthy way to raise a child. Not to mention, missing a meal or two can be good for a "picky eater", maybe when the same thing is offered again for supper they will be more (hungry) willing to try it this time.
The shame in it is...we can only try so much to correct the problem but if the parent isn't willing to try at home, we have wasted our efforts. I don't dwell too much on picky eaters, although I DO inform parents of their lack of interest in the food that was served for lunch that day.
Once in all my years, I had a Mom ask for the lunch to get wrapped up for supper that night. I was more than happy to do that for her, and she got her daughter to eat her food. Not without a fight though!

[Pip_Squeaks]

I offer a second choice. It's always the same two choices; Grilled cheese or Grilled PB and bananas. I only have one kid who will take me up on the second choice and I always keep what everyone else is eating in front of him/her to curb jealousy. I also reward trying something new because it takes a lot of courage to do that, even if it's just a lick, the important thing is that he/she tried. I really don't care if my kids eat PB sandwiches every day and their parents can't complain about it either because the only other options are to force feed or starve and I don't think they want that happening. I know we work hard preparing healthy, nutritious meals and it hurts our feelings when kids refuse but they don't understand the cost or effort a meal takes but they do understand when you deny them basic needs. Most of the time, I find it's just that they don't want to eat that particular item that day. Maybe it looks too close to something they have tried before and didn't like. Also, I find that at the times you make a deal out of eating something or trying something, that's when they refuse the most so I no longer ask, bribe, or convince. I place their lunch in front of them, if they say they don't like it, here are your two options. It really doesn't take much time to whip up either choices. Relax and be empathetic. I hated onions, mustard, cheese, mushrooms, green peppers, mayo, egg yolks, tomatoes, beef, pepper, salt, and I'm sure plenty more when I was a kid but I turned out to be a healthy individual and eat all of the above now except for mustard.

[sunnydays]

No second choices here either. I try to include 2-3 foods in the lunch, so they will usually eat at least something out of it, but I give small portions and then serve more if they eat it. I don't encourage them...just put the food there and they eat what they eat. Eventually they all come around and start eating what I serve. Today we had teriyaki salmon, quinoa and sweet potato fries for lunch....my new 3 year old didn't touch the salmon or the quinoa, but ate lots of sweet potato fries and some milk...I know in a few weeks she will be eating it all like the others do (I serve the sweet potato fries last because they all love them).

[sunnydays]

My feelings are definitely NOT hurt when a child refuses the food I have prepared. That is not why I don't serve other options. I just really believe that kids need to learn to appreciate teh food provided for them and that it is meant to fill their tummies and nourish their bodies and give them energy...if they like the taste that is a bonus. I also don't see how putting a plate of healthy food in front of a child is "denying them basic needs".

I offer a second choice. It's always the same two choices; Grilled cheese or Grilled PB and bananas. I only have one kid who will take me up on the second choice and I always keep what everyone else is eating in front of him/her to curb jealousy. I also reward trying something new because it takes a lot of courage to do that, even if it's just a lick, the important thing is that he/she tried. I really don't care if my kids eat PB sandwiches every day and their parents can't complain about it either because the only other options are to force feed or starve and I don't think they want that happening. I know we work hard preparing healthy, nutritious meals and it hurts our feelings when kids refuse but they don't understand the cost or effort a meal takes but they do understand when you deny them basic needs. Most of the time, I find it's just that they don't want to eat that particular item that day. Maybe it looks too close to something they have tried before and didn't like. Also, I find that at the times you make a deal out of eating something or trying something, that's when they refuse the most so I no longer ask, bribe, or convince. I place their lunch in front of them, if they say they don't like it, here are your two options. It really doesn't take much time to whip up either choices. Relax and be empathetic. I hated onions, mustard, cheese, mushrooms, green peppers, mayo, egg yolks, tomatoes, beef, pepper, salt, and I'm sure plenty more when I was a kid but I turned out to be a healthy individual and eat all of the above now except for mustard.

[Pip_Squeaks]

Letting them starve is denying a basic need. I refuse to let a child go hungry. I don't think it teaches them anything except negativity. Feeling hungry doesn't feel good and I want my guys to feel good all the time. They're here to have fun and learn.

[sunnydays]

But how are we letting them starve when they ahve a full plate of food in front of them that they are simply choosing not to eat? If we were to not offer any food at all, that would be denying a basic need, or even serving some hot pepper laced food that they obviously would have a hard time eating, but perfectly good food is provided, and they are choosing not to eat it. Plus, they have another opportunity a couple of hours later at snacktime...no child ever starved in the span of two or three hours.

[Pip_Squeaks]

Everyone's different. I just can't do that.

[sunnydays]

Fair enough I value all viewpoints, but do like a good debate

Everyone's different. I just can't do that.