Offering a Second Choice?

[Inspired by Reggio]

Fair enough I value all viewpoints, but do like a good debate

Agreed ... seriously allowing a child to be seen as competent and capable to CHOOSE if they are hungry enough to try what was offered to them is not starving them!

Not to mention this same 'illogic' of I did not want to deny her what she wanted cause I was afraid she would starve was recently used by the mother in THIS story of the 17 year old child who collapsed of malnutrition in England after her mother catered to her picky eating of only having chicken nuggets for 15 plus years ... and the irony was she DID starve in the end anyway

Honestly human beings need a variety of foods from all the food groups in order to get the proper balance the body's organs need to thrive ~ catering to picky eaters deprives children of that BASIC NEED!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Opps forgot to put the link in .... in this story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/ar...ets-age-2.html

This story hits close to home because my SIL fell into this same stupid parenting trap of only feeding my niece a select choice of things she 'preferred' ... waffles and applesauce for breakfast, chicken nuggets, fries and baby carrots and grilled cheese were basically her diet and at every damily function she was given a 'separate dinner' prepared before even being expected to TRY what was being offered cause the mom did not want to 'battle with her' ... at 10 she collapsed from malnutrition and ended up with juvenile diabetes and kidney damage from that 'limited' diet ... so despite the fact that her daughter never went 'hungry' she was basically starving from lack of variety and access to the vitamins and minerals needed from a healthy diet and the mom was almost charged with 'neglect of her basic needs' for having catered to that diet for years ... they had to agree to go into nutrition counseling and a whole vat of other things as a result.

[kidlove]

I do agree with what sunnydays had said regarding, the amount of things that are on the plate. The child may choose not to eat just one of the items because he or she truly does not like that one thing. that is totally understandable, everyone doesn't have to like everything. When this happens at my table, and the child loves the fruit I served, eats everything but the thing they do not like, then asks for more fruit? My response is.."eat the rest of the food on your plate and you are welcome to more fruit"...they ussually choke down the "unwanted" because the "want" for the fruit outweighs their attempt at "pickyness"....howev er..if I have a child that flat out refuses everything that is being served?......it's a cold day in you know where, before I offer up any more of my time to prepare anything else. That child needs to learn the concequence of their own choice, not manipulation. Some kids will take advantage, no wait...ALL kids will take advantage, IF we let them. They are choosing to "starve" not us choosing to starve them.

[kidlove]

wait a second........no starving takes place at the loss of one meal, even two. a child will live through a "picky" fit. self correction!

[Momof4]

KingstonMom, I keep a journal for each child and under the title of Food I list the foods I serve at each meal and if they ask for seconds I note 2X and if they refuse the food I cross it out. I use this as a reference if I'm going to cook something and I can't remember if they all liked it or not the last time. But after a while you get to know all the children's likes and dislikes.

I had a boy who wouldn't eat combined foods and that was the worst because sometimes I was rushed when we were outside all morning so I used the crockpot. He wouldn't eat any of it, but I gave him lots of extra servings at afternoon snack. But sometimes I wouldn't even let him have his fruit at lunch because I made him sit there until he tried some food and 'did his very best'. That's my line with the children to try to get them to eat a little bit of the things they say they don't like.

Picky eaters, naptime, toilet training, these are our very special challenges!!!

[Harmoni]

Oh boy, I must be the meanie! hahaha For my kids here, if they don't eat lunch that is what they get offered for pm snack!!! Then I make something that I know they will really want to encourage them to take another try at their lunch. I had a 4yr old who lived on chocolate pudding at home because she just didn't like or try anything new! So when she decides something isn't to her liking, you can bet the other kiddos get pudding for snack! Even the 2yr olds say "you better eat your lunch if you want snack" haha I wonder when they will catch on that one kid not eating ='s really yummy snack for them? lol

[kidlove]

Harmoni, your no meanie (unless I am too ) ha ha. I think it's a good turn of the tables......generall y when a child is refusing food it has more to do with control rather than their likes or dislikes, most of the "refusers" are a bit spoiled at home.....making their own choices more often than not. I also enjoy very much the "turn" of things, when one is crying at the table because I inform them they have to at least try their veggie before getting down, then I state to all the other children.."you are doing a great job, when you are finished eating your healthy lunch I have a yummy cookie for you" all the kids cheer for the cookie and finish their food, sometimes even making the comment to the "non-eater" "you better eat your food so you can have a cookie too!" too funny! if you sit back sometimes, the kids will do all the work for you.

[Robyn]

I love seeing I am not alone on the picky eaters!!!! I have several picky eaters and I serve Sneaky Chef foods I love watching them gobble down the mac and cheese that is full of carrots and sweet potatoes!!!
I don't make second meals and snack is usually unlimited fruit (to a point) and one granola bar per day or some other baked goodie (that has extra goodness in it!)
I have had children not each lunch for a couple of days and one little guy that never eats lunch or really any snacks. (Very stubborn and thankfully his parents don't get upset about it!) Funny enough not one of these guys have died of starvation!