Toilet Training Troubles long, but plese help

[kidlove]

Not many kids are going to "tell you" they have to go potty, when first attempting to train them.....the way I see it, you are "training" the child to go to the potty, meaning you are teaching them to go every hour..two hours..what ever. asking will get you no where. You are the one in charge and they don't grasp the feeling of having to go yet or the urge. That is why you have to take full control and say "let's try the potty now"....don't give them a choice. If I were you I would have the child try to go every 1.5 to 2 hours, each time they try they should sit for a reasonable amount of time (10 minutes maybe) and should be given a reward each time they go. As they continue to have "surprise" pees and poops, they are slowly learning how to trigger the urge or feeling on their own. so, the first step of training is getting them on a schedule of trying, the second step is getting them to control the urge or "feeling", to go on their own. Most kids will not choose on their own to go to the bathroom, and even if they have to go and you ask them, they don't completely grasp the urge yet and they generally don't care. If you make them go, not only are you developing a pattern or routine but you are rewarding them often, and it will encourage them to "want" to go next time, and next time. pull ups and diapers are a double edged sword for me.....I hate them, I don't think they are a great method of training (the child knows when one is on therefor wets and poops because they know the diaper will catch it) however...I hate the thought of cleaning up poop and pee from my floors or the childs clothes.
All kids are different, some need a little scolding for poop and pee in pants or diaper (nothing big, but they need to know it's no longer ok) and some kids do really well with a small reward for going potty in the toilet (small candy, sticker, big hug :0)
None of your work will do you any good if the parents aren't on board all the way. If I were you I would suggest the parents plan a weekend to stay home and go with nothing on the child (pants of course:0) but no diaper, no pull up.....potty every hour or two. pull up for bed and naps and report back to you...if the child does successful with Mom and Dad, i would give it a shot at my house. Up to you though, i understand the poop and pee on the floor but IMO kids train the best (when ready) if you go comando....they will have one accident or two and after that, the potty becomes their release of choice. Good luck.

[Crayola kiddies]

I too agree kids train best if in underwear or commando .... However I wouldn't allow it with out a a rubber/plastic pant over top for obvious reasons. I also agree in the beginning a child will not tell you they have to go because they really don't know. I always tell them it's time to go potty and I do get them to sit for several minutes because in the beginning it's not instant and I do it at certain times ... At arrival, before we go outside,when we come in , before lunch before nap, after nap. They get used to this schedule and when they go they get a sticker. After three straight weeks of success I up the ante and I start asking them if they have to use the potty and This makes them start taking ownership of their potty training and once they are successful with that I let them know they need to tell me and I stop asking .
continue from there

[playfelt]

I insist on large bags of diapers/pullups to be left at my house and I tell the parents when I need more. I do not accept the two in the bag each day method. Somedays child needs more than others and I need control. And especially when training because I take them usually every hour - hour/half and if they have already wet the pullup then it means changing them. Usually after wasting a bag quickly with this the parents back off and say ok lets wait a bit and bring me diapers instead.

[Momof4]

This is one area where I'm strict because I have rugs everywhere, beige ones and a beige couch! My policy is that there must be 30 days without an accident before I will allow a child to use underpants only and I still put the pullup over the underpants for naptime. I want the children to train and will do all I can to help but once they are able to run out to the bathroom on their own and know when they have to go then I stop worrying about accidents. That usually happens after they are about 3 to 4 years old. Parents expecting a 2 year old to be that advanced are dreamers in my opinion, that's still the 'training' stage which spells accidents.

[BlueRose]

Important Note:
What happens if you don't follow my toilet training rules
If you send your child to care in his/her underwear without my permission, you will be called to either pick up your child or to drop off the proper training products.

You will also be 100% responsible for all replacement costs of the following, but not limited to the following:
Furniture
Flooring (carpets, mats, rugs etc.)
Toys
Any and all other items that come in contact with the urine or feces, if your child has an accident well in my care.

The replacement cost must be paid in a reasonable amount of time. A payment payment plan can be discussed with me and my husband.

after a huge fight with my husband, I have removed this form my policy. I didn't like it there to start with.

[kidlove]

Good choice. Just make sure you stick to your guns and if they bring that little one "unprepared" for your house...have them take her home and come back prepared. Hard to do (not sure if I could) but neccesary with these ones, sounds like they will take advantage if you don't enforce your rules/requirements. Good Luck!

[Mamma_Mia]

My 3yr old dcb has been potty training since September and was great!! Went 4 straight weeks with no accidents, would go to the potty, flush & wash hands on his own without my help! Even sleep through nap with undies and stay dry!

Suddenly within the last 2 weeks he's had a accident daily even at home. I had a package of pullups here and I've been putting one on him each day this week and he's had a accident each day. Yesterday he did great and told me at playgropu twice that he had to go and went again on his own at home. Today I though lets try no pullup since we're home and bam! My poor floors & mom are tired lol

I spoke to mom saying from now on he needs to come with a pullup on until he is accident free for two full weeks here & at home. Mom didn't understand since "he's been doing good." I explained to ehr that one ot two good days are not a sign of doing good.....she then asks that I take him to the potty every hour. NO.....to ME this case is different. He KNOWS what to do! He KNOWS when he has to pee and he KNOWS where the potty is etc. he's done it on his own for over 4 weeks already so NO I will not 'baby' him again. Either a) he's got a kidney cold and can't control his baldder or b) wants the attention and 'stickers' again.

A) is mom's job to find out and I've mentioned it twice already
B) not going to happen.....you don't get stickers forever, at some point they have to stop.