Quote Originally Posted by bright sparks View Post
I have to say that I do believe we have a certain responsibility to the child. While we aren't the parent, as a caregiver, we have a duty to the child to pass on our observations to the parent's. What they do with that information is entirely down to them but then we have played our role to is fullest by passing this info on. If we don't say anything, then we aren't helping but potentially making it worse IMO. I imagine that a lot of parents who lash out at people saying something is up with their child, or implying there is, are being given opinions and feelings versus just supplying them with the fact. They do not want to hear from an unqualified person what they think is wrong with their child. I'd be defensive and bitchy with that person too. This obviously is easier said than done, but what if nobody brings it up till the child goes to school. It is that much harder to deal with the later it is caught. Also very early detection of learning disabilities, e.g autism, can be treated easier.(I am not saying that is what is going on with this child) In the US, paediatricians who are trained in this area can refer the child to a specialist who works on retraining and reprogramming the brain. I hope this can be implemented in Canada too as it will make a huge difference to the lives of the children and their families. If caregivers didn't report these things, then the parents who were open to exploring extra help would not have an opportunity to do so. I feel staying quiet does a disservice to the child. I could still sleep better at night after getting an earbashing from a parent knowing that I did everything I could than if I stayed silent. I've just learn't that there is an appropriate way to get this info across.
Oh, I completely agree with you and I have a verbal update of our day and chat with the parents about any and all of my concerns but what I mean is that if the parent, as in the case here where mlle.c. is pretty sure the Mom is not going to help out, should she make the Mom mad at her by talking about the problem? Like I said you have to know your audience. Yes, we should always tell the parents what we see and explain that we see things from a group care perspective and they see things from a parental perspective. But we have to be careful not to insult their parenting or we are going to be the bad guys, you know?

Once I've told a parent about a problem several times and see that they don't really agree with me I just keep doing the work during daycare hours and hope to see progress and pat myself on the back because I'm never going to get any appreciation from a parent like that.

Case in point: I have a little boy turning 2 this month who is not making progress in one area and I told the Dad about it over the course of a few months at pickup and last week his answer was: he's just a baby. So I am not bringing it up to him any more. This boy is 'being babied' at home which is a big part of the problem, but I'm continuing to show him that I expect great things from him at daycare and he's becoming more and more self-sufficient for me. I think we all can relate to this case.