Something has got to give or I'm gonna lose my crap!!

[godsgirl]

Bah!!!! I need some seriously advice and suggestions as to how to get my kids to lay off of each other. If it doesn't get any better soon I'm worried I'm just flip one day and scream 'SHUT UP!!!'

Here's the deal:
I have 3 kids a 4 dcb, 5 dcg, and 10 dcb year old who are always riding each other and trying to get a rise from the other. The 2 boys are brothers (4 & 10 yr old) and they are always at each other (more so the older one to the younger one). But they both also gang up on the 5 dcg but she isn't a saint either and is always sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. Lately my biggest grievance with all of them is that they are always ALWAYS fighting about who is first. They fight about who knocks on the door first (mostly the boys and I know it drives the mom crazy too. She's even made them wait at the bottom of my stairs and she has walked up by herself to knock on my door in the AM to get them to stop), they fight about who walks through my door first when we leave to school in the AM and who walks through the door first after school. They fight about who washes their hands first, who pee's first, who's hand is on the door to open it (some days ALL 3 hands are on the knob!!). This week it has been unbearable and I have been trying to get them to just line up like normal human beings on their own accord with all of these instances. I've tried to get them to line up first come first serve (that didn't work because then it was a race to get their outdoor gear on or off and things always went flying), I've tried oldest to youngest, youngest to oldest and there is always a break down. The final straw was yesterday when we came home from school and they went in and raced to the bathroom (I get them to stand in the hall along the wall until it's their turn - but it never turns out that way as they are always cramming and smooshing to get to be the closest to the door). Anyways, the oldest was first but he was just standing there because he was 'saving' the 1st spot for his brother while the girl was wanting to go in because she had to go to the bathroom and the 10 yr old wouldn't let her through. My husband was closest to them and piped in for them to stop this junk and let her in. Afterwards, I had a big talk with all of them explaining that it's needs to stop. But today it's right back to the same crap!! Any suggestions for this drama? In the morning I'm normally pre-occupied trying to get the 2 younger kiddies ready (I normally get my 18 month old ready before I even send the older ones to the boot room and then bring in the 2 yr old dcb to get him ready while the others are getting ready and my boy sits on the other side of the gate so he is out of the way). After school the kids normally all run in before me and I'm stuck in the boot room getting all of the LO's stuff off while the drama unfolds down the hall.

The other thing is that they are ALWAYS looking for ways to get under each others skin. If one kids gets up from the chair then the other will jump in it saying 'you got out it's my seat now' even when it's for 2 bloody secs because they dropped a felt!! The boys (esp. the older one will whisper mean comments to the others saying 'you're mean' or whatever stupid thing he can think of). The 10 yr old is the biggest instigator of them all and I am always calling him out on it but it just seems to be getting worse as the school year is going on. The 4 yr old is pretty good when the older kids aren't there (he goes to school every other day and is here all day the other days) but as soon as the older brother shows up his whole demeanor changes (rough housing, crying, whining, basically turns into a big baby).

Any suggestions, for these things. I get kids will be kids and of course there will always be some fighting but this is getting to be stupid. My 1st and last hour of the day are the worst and it sucks everything out of me. However, my days are amazing once the older kids gone.

This afternoon I am going to try making them wait for me to get through the door first and appoint the order that they will be lining up outside the bathroom. Cross your fingers...

Mental Note: Don't do before and after school care

Thanks for your help in advance

[playfelt]

Is the 10 year old not old enough to go home on his own - maybe have a high school boy come and hang out with him, take him to play sports or run off some energy somehow. He is definitely too old for the daycare group if he is going to be as disrespecful.

Sometimes if you deal with the little ones - in this case the 4 and 5 year olds to get proper behaviour out of them then the older one backs off because it is no fun if no one plays along.

Maybe a couple well timed "shut ups" "knock it off now" would actually help. Time to be nice is over.

[Cookie]

Oh boy, do I feel the pain of your post! Hang in there. What about first thing in the morning have them pull straws and that's the order they stick with for the whole day? And definitely no holding spots. It's easy to give advice when we're not dealing with it like you are. Keep calm and carry on - that's what I repeat to myself a hundred times a day with my own two kids. Good luck.

[Crayola kiddies]

Do you have to do before and after care???? If you don't get rid if them cause school age kids are terrible especially when you have siblings .....I want to choke my own school age son in the summer I couldn't imagine other people's. I guess my advise would be to have a dialogue with the parents and let them know about the behaviors you are dealing with ( likely they all ready know and deal with it at home or turn a blind eye to it). Maybe together you can cone up with something. Not sure where you are located but in my area b and a care is hard to come by so when you get it you don't want to lose it.

[Mamma_Mia]

Something has got to give or I'm gonna lose my crap!! Bah!!!! I need some seriously advice and suggestions as to how to get my kids to lay off of each other. If it doesn't get any better soon I'm worried I'm just flip one day and scream 'SHUT UP!!!'

No advice

I'm just laughing at the fact your screen name is 'GODsgirl' and those were your first sentences to this post. sorry to laugh at your hard time it just seemed funny lol

[kidlove]

NO MORE SCHOOL AGE!!!! that's my advice! good luck. also: leave the room and count before losing your crap!!! ha ha good luck.

[kidlove]

mamma: how many times a day do you think God looks at this world and thinks : "This is crap!" ha ha ha ha

[treeholm]

I have two 3 1/2 year olds who went through that, and I made a rule that whoever said, "I'm first" or "me" would have to wait and be last. It took at least a month, but they know take turns much better, and no one rushes to be first because they know what will happen LOL

[godsgirl]

No advice

I'm just laughing at the fact your screen name is 'GODsgirl' and those were your first sentences to this post. sorry to laugh at your hard time it just seemed funny lol

Ha! Ha! I know! You don't even want to hear the words that are going through my head

[godsgirl]

I have two 3 1/2 year olds who went through that, and I made a rule that whoever said, "I'm first" or "me" would have to wait and be last. It took at least a month, but they know take turns much better, and no one rushes to be first because they know what will happen LOL

That's an AWESOME idea!! I love it! Thank you!