I think I am at that point to Momof4, but I'm sure you appreciate its a process and my co-dependent behaviours aren't something I can just switch off all of a sudden one day. Baby steps for sure, and this is just one of them. I used to just automatically do things for people without thinking about how it would effect me as an individual. I would always think about the effects on my family but not looking at myself outside of the mother and wife role. Now I am starting to look at things throughout my life a little differently. This one decision will either keep me rooted deeper in this unhappy place right now or give me the ability to find myself and dig out of my situation a little. It's gonna go against my grain, but I think essentially I just need to grow a pair