Self Feeding

[KingstonMom]

I have a 17 month old who is not very good at feeding himself. He is an only child, Im sure the parents feed him every meal, but it is not helping me at daycare!
Is this normal behaviour for this age or am I just expecting too much from him?
Currently I will scoop the food onto the spoon for him and set it aside and make him pick it up and put it in his mouth.

[Crayola kiddies]

I have a 18 month old dck and while she does attempt to use a spoon/fork the food has usually fallen off by the time she gets it to her mouth and just opts to use her fingers. Does this child at least use his fingers? just put the food on his tray and leave him. If he just looks at it put something in his hand and guide his hand to his mouth ... He'll get the picture pretty quick. Ask the parents to work with you at home by not feeding him unless it's yoghurt or similar.

[Cocoon]

I think at 17 months they should be able to feed themselves with no help.

[fruitloop]

I think at 17 months they should be able to feed themselves with no help.

This exactly! All my kids by that age feed themselves completely, yogurt included!

[apples and bananas]

I have 2 that have just turned 18 months. One has been useing spoons and forks for months successfully, the other, looks like an explosion when he's done his meal. LOL He often drops the spoon and uses his hands too.

The difference? The advanced one has an older sister, the not so advanced one is the first child born.

If they're hungry enough, they'll find some way to get the food in there.

[KingstonMom]

I have my own 1 year old and she has been feeding herself for months! Mostly because she is my second and I simply do not have the time to sit down and feed her every single meal! She only eats fiinger foods and unless its yogurt or soemthing similar she is totally sufficient.

I've noticed this boy will feed himself finger foods, but most of it goes on his lap or the floor. After half his plate is gone he will just sit there, so I take his plate away. The mom seems to think he has lost weight in the last little while and if thats the case, it could be because he is not taking the initiative to eat what's in front of him.
I will mention to parents to encourage him to feed himself as best he can. I believe it is that he is not given the opportunity at home. But in daycare land, I simply cannot feed him every meal!

[bright sparks]

Self feeding comes in different forms and goes in stages from using hands, to having a spoon or fork in one hand while still using the other hand to feed themselves and then the gradual progression of learning the skill of co-ordinating the spoon to the mouth successfully. I think any variation of this is normal and even at 17 months there are plenty of kids who do not self feed. I do think that they should be self feeding though by this age, but no matter what I think or others think it doesnt mean they will. There are always different factors involved which determine this developmental milestone and when it occurs. Like you, I think the fact that you dck is an only child is more than likely the main cause of this delay. I agree with you that the parents are more than likely spoon feeding the child all the time. Maybe when they have left the child to try independently with no success they have felt the need to spoon feed to prevent them from not eating at all. Not to many first time moms or new parents with no previous contact with children on a regular basis are likely to make the statement that so many of us do that they will eat when they are hungry. As long as they are eating with their hands I wouldnt be to concerned. Give them the spoon or fork in their hand. Actually put it in their hand. Even if they dont use it at first, eventually they will if nothing else, start playing with it which I believe will including scooping up food and stabbing it.

I would approach the parents kindly but quite clearly ask them and anyone else who comes into contact with their child not to spoon feed this child. Including yogurt and messy foods. How are they to learn if they are not given both the opportunity to try and the time they need to learn. If this child was in my care, I would not spoon feed but give them lots of encouragement and give them spoons and forks to use. I have a 17 month old who is like a little mouse. Not talking and has only just come off formula and bottles 6 weeks ago ARGGHHH....so she isnt a good eater unless its pizza which apparently her dad feeds her all the time. Yesterday my kiddies had soup and the none eater and my younger one were first given spoons but then after they were given a straw too. Its obviously not self feeding with a spoon but a small step towards independent feeding and making the choice for themselves to eat versus sitting their with their mouth open wating to be fed.

[Crayola kiddies]

In wal mart they have plastic molded bibs and they turn up at the bottom forming a little "catch all".... They come in a two pack and are relatively inexpensive. I use this for my 12 month old dcb and all the food he drops goes into the little scoop and when he is screaming for more I dump it all back into his bowl for his second helping. He does not use utensils yet he just jams everything in.

[Dreamalittledream]

On the topic of self feeding....some things perplex me. I have a tiny almost 2 year old that can eat any of my kids under the table...but she shoves so much food in her mouth, until she can't get anymore in! She does the same at home too! And yet, not once has this child choked on anything?! And yet, I have 2 one year olds...1 self feeds no problem, he has the 'bite' concept,(rather than shoving I all in). My other 1 year old, I have to cut up food in tiny pieces and give it piece by piece...because she chokes everytime if I don't (she is a 'shove it all in kid too). Weird how they are all so different?!

[Momof4]

KingstonMom, does he eat with his hands at least? Sometimes children take a long time to get the hang of silverware but I don't serve soups or stews for that reason, so that they can feed themselves the chunks of food before they even learn to use forks and spoons and so I don't have to spoon feed them except for things like chili and applesauce until they are a little older and learn to do it for themselves. Can you serve more food that you can cut for him so he can learn to do it with his fingers?