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  1. #11
    Euphoric ! kidlove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    347 Times in 258 Posts
    Marie< thank you for being open and honest regarding your point of view in ALL areas, including lookinf for a provider who is a Mother herself, and has at least two years experience, that is your opinion and you have every right to look for that in the person who is taking care of your child. Although I know there are many providers out there who may not have children and do a terrific job (perhaps better than a lot of providers who do have children) I do understand your point of view on the subject and I too would have the same point of view if I were looking for a good fit for my child, I don't want to assume the provider can care properly for my child due to their credentials...I would want solid evidence, and what better than a happy healthy family. There is nothing stronger than the bond between Mother and Child, Until I was a Mother, I don't think I had the understanding of children and their needs, and being a Mother deffinately makes me a better provider. again,not saying those of you out there who don;'t have children arent as great of Day Care providers, but I do agree with Marie, and say, that is def a PLUS in my book!

  2. #12
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    946 Times in 686 Posts
    Realizing that this post is over two years old and Marie has likely moved on after her share for those reading it now that it is been bumped I will add my two cents.

    I agree that her advice on 'do your research' is impeccable and bang on ... specially love the sit down with your spouse and a create your must haves verses nice to haves verses deal breaker list so you are sure you are comparing apples to apples when looking around and most importantly are on the same page with your spouse to avoid conflict later!!

    While I empathize with providers not wanting to send their 'verbatim contract' before an interview because of the practice of other businesses 'stealing ideas' from seasoned providers and such I do agree with Marie that the more 'non negotiable' stuff that is shared on a website or advertizement for clients seeking the better it is to avoid the huge waste of everyone's time when the 'financial commitments' are not out there in the open for those who truly cannot budget for the weekly fee, or take enough time off work to cover the 6 weeks or something a provider might be closed, the family pet or what not ... the deal breaker stuff like that should be shared prior to booking interviews for sure to weed out poor matches before the in person interview ... those providers you choose to actually interview in person should be the top 3 type scenario so you are sure that you would likely love any one of them but you just want to meet in person to ensure that the vibe from the advertizement is the same as the vibe from in person!

    As for the 'choosing a mother whose been in business for 2 plus years' that is certainly a valid opinion and there are pros and cons to both those concepts that are going to have to be weighed by the individual ... I personally do not share the belief that a mother automatically makes a better childcare provider because I have seen first hand in my 25 plus years in the industry and having worked in centre care with early childhood educators who make wonderful 'caregivers/educators' and horrible parents raising demon spawn that most of us would cringe at and vise versa early childhood educators who are awesome with their own children who grown up well behaved and respectful but were a horror to work with because they could not manage 'group care' environment ... there are two different skill sets at play here .... the ones used to love and care for your OWN children than there are the ones you need to be able to respect and care for OTHER peoples and sadly some people just do not carry BOTH sets of skills

    The reality is that a child spending 9 months in a women's womb does not a 'ideal mother and caregiver' make ... if this statement were true that 'mothers just know best' there would never be any abused or neglected children in the world because they all came from a 'mother' who should just miraculously know what to do the minute they become a mother and how to manage a group of various aged children and so forth .... motherhood and caregiving while innate for many women is in reality a SKILL that one has to acquire ... for some it comes easy and naturally with little effort, for others they have to work hard at it and others NEVER acquire it despite having 'birthed' their children .... and if that is the reality of motherhood than logically it goes to conclude that the flip side is also true there are many women in the world who are an amazing 'mother' at heart without ever having given birth to a child because they acquired the skills naturally
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

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  4. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    158 Times in 129 Posts
    Marie9999 I agree your provider is very lucky to have you! It's so true if you don't share the same core values as your provider then it will never work.

  5. #14
    I live in Encinitas and there are more than a few good daycare centers. I was wondering how I should pick one for my kids. Now that I read your post I think I would be able to find one very soon. Thank you very much for sharing the information.

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    5 Times in 4 Posts
    This has been a useful thread. I would also like to comment on the provider without parents. I don't think that is a fair statement. I've been working with children for almost 14 years, some of the first children I took care of are now in their early 20's!! My sister was born when I was 15 and I was her primary caregiver even though I still had to get myself through high school. But that is not something I share with my parents when I am interviewing them. I also don't mention that physically I am not ABLE to have children. So I would feel pretty awful if a parent immediately discounted me just because I don't have children of my own, especially if their child would have been a good fit in my centre, and I could have been a good influence on that child's life.

    And one last thing, just because a centre has been open for less than 2 years doesn't mean anything either. Like I said - been in the business for 14 years, but I just opened my own centre in January of this year, that doesn't make me any less of a caregiver than the person down the street who has been open for 10 years.

  7. #16
    Starting to feel at home...
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    59 Times in 49 Posts
    At least you keep this forum entertaining darasmommy

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  9. #17
    Excellent advice, thank you!

  10. #18
    Starting to feel at home...
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    59 Times in 34 Posts
    For those of you offended at her remarks about not being a mother or not being open for more than 2+ years, she DID say as her VERY first words in that section "IMHO" meaning it was just her personal opinion. (She also went on to actually say it was just her personal opinion)

    She even went so far as to say, "This is just personal preference and I'm sure there are many excellent providers with no children and little experience, " so I am pretty sure she wasn't trying to offend anyone, she was just stating HER opinions.

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  12. #19
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    1,085 Times in 810 Posts
    I also do not have children of my own yet but when I opened up my hdc I had 3 years experience with daycare centres and a bit of schooling. My first group of parents actually said they chose me because I didn't have kids of my own so they knew that this was something that I obviously wanted to do because I enjoy it and wasn't just opening a hdc so I could stay home with my own children and make money doing it. (which isn't a bad thing either!)

    I agree with your other advice though I give out my contract so that the parents can discuss it at home and come to the interview with prepared questions about my specific rules/policies/expectations. I don't want to waste my time interviewing parents who aren't going to agree and sign my contract. I actually met another hdcp on another forum and she helped me out by sending me her contract. I used it as a guide and we have some of the same policies and I changed things to better suit my wants/needs in my hdc. I was/am very thankful she did that and we still email almost daily because we have a lot of the same views and we are in the same area. I have been asked by other dcp's and potential dcp's if they can view my contract and I have no issue letting them see it. Each to their own, but to me it's not a big deal. I don't look at it as helping the competition but rather helping a potential new friend out.

  13. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    1 Time in 1 Post
    Thanks Marie999 for explaining your experience. I think it would be helpful for me

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