DCMom, honestly, I would talk daily face to face with a 3.5 year old as problems arise because they are old enough to understand what you are saying and if they can behave well and don't have big problems they will behave better after learning that you won't put up with bad behaviour. CONSISTENCY & NEVER CAVING IN, that's the key!!!

I would put myself in the child's position right now as wondering why the heck everything in his life has recently changed and why he is with you and how to behave and what the boundaries are at this new place and how much he can push his limits, you know? Then I would be firm with him but with kindness and understanding and tell him that it is completely unacceptable for him to hit or behave badly at your home and encourage him to be nice to his new friends.

That's how I would start out for a few weeks with kindness and understanding and caring, then if he still acts out I would start worrying about a serious problem and begin to give him time outs for bad behaviour and punishments. Definitely talk to his parents and get their opinions on how they discipline him at home and if anything you see is happening a home. We see the children in a group setting and we are therefore preparing them to socialize when they start school and for the rest of their lives so what we observe is really important. If a child is the only one at home it's a completely different story and we have to educate the parents about that fact.