I feel your pain...my 4 year old son used to consume way more of my time than anyone else (now he's in school full-time and life is much easier). My 2 1/2 year old is not as bad, although definitely likes to throw her little fits. Our own kids are definitely harder on us. I just attended a discipline workshop last night that was very helpful and made me look at things slightly differently. I don't know if you have access to any of these types of workshops, but I would highly recommend it...I am going to take more...as many as I can I think! This morning I tried out some new strategies after anaylizing the situation (my 4 year old and the 2 year old dcb always clash before and after school)...so this morning I told my son that his job was to make the other one happy and then we talked about specific things he could do (like getting him a puzzle)...and every time he did something I praised him up and down. Well, his attitude changed drastically! He started saying "I want to help you more and make him really happy" and then he was looking for ways to create happiness instead of finding attention in tattling on the 2 year old after instigating a fight with him. So for me, sometimes it's a matter or anaylzing the situation and getting to the root of "why" the child is acting out (often attention getting) and then come up with a plan to create a more positive behaviour instead of the constant negative attention that ends up being given the more they act out. I know with my son I have made the mistake of falling into way too much negative attention instead of praising the positive and building on it. Boredom can also be an issue....so lots of activities to keep her busy in a constructive way. Good luck!