Don't think you are alone in those thoughts, any time I get low in numbers I start to second guess my situation and my self as a provider. I know the real reason I am low is beyond my control, however it doesn't stop me from having those crazy thoughts of, maybe I am not a good enough provider, I'm not doing my job well enough?! I know none of it is true but I think it's human nature to blame yourself when you fall on hard times. Please keep your head up and keep going, don't forget what you did this for, your kids need you right now and you are doing the right thing. Sometimes I need to remind myself: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. All the bills are paid, nothing more though. Christmas is coming, but God provides. Be thankful for what you have and take your focus off what you don't, before you know it, things will be going your way again and you will look back on these feelings as just a memory.